Forever Yours, Faithfully
by SuddenlySandi
Summary: Bella comes home to run the family business after the death of her parents and the ruin of her marriage. She befriends a young boy who teaches her to use her heart again. All Human
1. Chapter 1 thru 3

**Twilight Characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer**

**1**

_The gas station looked almost deserted, run down, and dirty. The pumps were old and faded red. A little convenience store was attached, but dusty windows hid the view of what was stocked on the shelves. It was miraculous to find a station in the middle of the desert, so nobody could complain. _

_Most travelers didn't use the sandy back roads, preferring to stay on the Interstate. People tend to be afraid of old school situations. If it wasn't shiny and using tons of electricity something must be wrong. _

_A large RV pulled up to the pumps and a petite woman opened the door to climb out. She stretched her arms high into the air and moved out of the way so her husband could step onto the concrete. He opened his wallet and handed her a credit card._

"_Get me a Snickers," he called, as she headed toward the grubby store._

"_Get some orange slices out of the fridge," she hollered back to him._

_He shook his head and mumbled something about being on vacation and eating however he wanted. He waited for the pump to light up and began filling the oversized vehicle. The woman came out of the store with a small paper bag. _

"_You better have a Snickers in there," he teased, as he pulled out his cigarettes. "If nicotine doesn't kill me I want to make sure sugar does."_

_The woman wrapped her arms around his waist, "Death doesn't want an old coot like you." _

_He reached around and grabbed the paper bag from her hand as he grinned at his wife of thirty years. He opened the bag to see several candy bars of various sizes. "I knew I married you for a reason," he grinned._

"_Give me those," she demanded, taking the bag and climbing back into the RV. He chuckled and pulled his lighter from his back pocket._

_His attention turned back to the large motor vehicle, watching as the numbers on the old gas pump rolled making a clicking sound. He thumbed the lighter after placing a cigarette into his mouth._

_A black cloud of smoke rose high into the desert sky right after a loud explosion could be heard for miles. _

The small town of Forks, Washington was known for two things, the county hospital which served several small communities and provided jobs for the town, and the Swan Ranch. The ranch was two hundred acres and sat high on a hill overlooking Forks. Rodeo stock was raised and trained by Charlie Swan and his partner Billy Black. Billy was a Quileute man, educated in veterinary medicine. He had a knack for understanding animals but couldn't quite figure out how people worked. He had a quick temper and didn't put up with what he called "silliness" from folks.

Charlie inherited the land from his father who raised beef cattle. He lived in Forks his whole life and was known for his wild antics. When he caught the eye of Renee Foster, a local school teacher, the entire town shook their heads. She wasn't a pretty woman by any means, but she was bright and had a lot of spunk. She enjoyed the outdoors and could ride just about as well as Charlie could.

Town gossip was sure Charlie would use the spinster teacher and leave her with a broken heart. What they didn't expect was the marriage announcements that arrived in the mail. Speculation led to a probable shot-gun wedding, insisted on by the Foster family, but they were again proven wrong when a child didn't arrive until many years later.

Charlie and Renee had one child, a girl named Isabella. She was known to most of the town as Bella. Of course, she was spoiled and had everything she wanted or needed. She could ride a horse as well as Charlie and could be just as stubborn as Renee. She inherited the best physical qualities from both parents. Her dark hair and large brown eyes made her a target for most young men. Charlie was a strict parent and never allowed the cowboys around his daughter. He said it was a hazard of the job and watched Bella like a hawk.

Nobody was surprised when Bella ran off to elope with a sweet talking rodeo bum named James White. She met Jimmy in Texas during her freshman year in college. He convinced her they could live on love, while he secretly planned to have her daddy pay all the bills.

Bella wouldn't hear of it and dropped out of school to be a bank teller. Jimmy didn't like living as responsible adults and soon began running around and drinking heavily. Bella worked very hard to keep her marriage problems a secret and hoped time would straighten out her husband.

Billy Black never married, but lived with several women off and on. He spent some time in rehab to wean off of prescription pain killers, a product of his own rodeo days, but remained an excellent vet and partner at Swan Ranch. He eventually moved into a small apartment over the tack shed and was more a member of the family than a partner. He was currently in a long twelve year relationship with a Quileute woman named Sue. He had proposed several times but she was adamant never to marry again.

Her first marriage was filled with violence which left her blind in her right eye. After becoming self sufficient by opening a small craft store she refused to be dependent on a man ever again. She usually stayed with Billy about three days out of the week but always made sure to go home before she got too comfortable.

The phone was ringing as Bella opened the door to the apartment. She didn't hurry to pick it up because it was payday and she knew it meant fighting with Jimmy over Friday night plans. She sat her purse down and grabbed a diet Pepsi from the fridge before picking up the receiver.

"Hello," she said warily.

"Bella, this is Billy."

She couldn't help the smile that formed on her face, "Hi, Billy. How are you?"

He moaned a little as he tried to find the right words. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but I have some pretty bad news."

Bella sat in one of the mismatched chairs around her old table. Her mind was spinning trying to come up with something that could be pretty bad but not ruin her life. She didn't speak and waited for Billy to offer some information.

"You need to come home; I got you a flight in two hours. Can you be on that flight?" He was stalling and trying to judge her reaction before he continued.

"Billy?" Was all she managed to say.

"I'm so sorry Bella, your parents have been in an accident," he managed to get the words out before the choking feeling took hold.

"Accident, what kind of accident, are they okay? Oh God, Billy." Tears began falling and her heart was racing. She knew the answer before she asked it, but hope was her last salvation.

"There was an explosion," he paused, "Honey, come home, so I can talk with you."

Her head fell into her hand and the slight pain reminded her why she couldn't come home. Her bruises from the last beating Jimmy gave her had not totally healed. Loud sobs rose from deep within her chest. She didn't let her parents know the nightmare she had been living for the past two years and now it seemed so silly; such a waste of time hiding from her parents who she would never see again just to keep her loser husband happy.

"I'm coming home, Billy," she managed to say. "I'm coming to stay."

The mourners slowly made their way from the graveside one by one. Bella kept her large dark glasses on and remained sitting under the canopy next to the two freshly dug graves. Time stopped for her. _It should have been me_, she kept thinking. She should have been the one to blow up and escape the awful life she had created for herself; or at the very least been with her parents when it happened.

What she wouldn't give to be able to talk to her mother one last time, to tell her the awful things Jimmy had done and let her father protect her like he always did. She took her father's guard as an interruption in her life, but now understood the love behind it. She had squandered that love and now look where she was; hiding behind large glasses so nobody could see the affects of her marriage.

Two young men were waiting for the last of the mourners to leave to begin the process of lowering the caskets and covering them over. They were too embarrassed to ask Bella to leave, but they wanted to get their work done and head home. One cleared his throat rather loudly. Bella turned her head in their direction, but didn't really look at them. She finally reached down and removed her black heels, stood, and headed through the cemetery away from the funeral car waiting for her.

The car door opened and a gentleman in a black suit with a long braid running down his back got out and began walking briskly toward her. His gait was one that spoke of years of abuse to his back. He hunched over slightly and limped as he tried to catch up to Bella's determined walk.

He finally caught up with her before she reached the front gate, "Bella, let's go home."

She continued to walk and lifted her hand to motion for him to stop following her. "I want to walk home, Billy. I need some time alone."

"There's a luncheon at the church. You really should be there," he called after her.

She spun around quickly to face him as she pulled off the large sunglasses revealing the yellow bruises, "Really, Billy. You really think I should be there?" Without waiting for an answer she turned back around and headed out the cemetery gate.

Billy headed slowly back to the waiting car. He understood her reasoning and if he could find some way to get his hands on Jimmy White it would be the last time the young punk would even think about hitting a woman.

Bella made the mile walk in bare feet never noticing the hard gravel beneath her soles. Her pain was deep inside. Her heart ached and her veins pulsed with fear just waiting for Jimmy to come after her. Her only solace was the fact her parents wouldn't have to look at her battered face and scarred body. They wouldn't live the shame of having a twenty year old divorced daughter. That had to be worth something.

As Swan Ranch came into view she suddenly felt better. The great county house, with its dormer windows and large wrap around porch, was a sanctuary. The house was surrounded by a white fence covered in roses. The border completely obscured the view of the large back yard, which contained a swimming pool and a built in barbeque pit. At the side of the house stood a large automatic gate with the words "Swan Ranch" arching over the driveway. The house was a separate entity from the sprawling indoor arena and fenced acreage.

Bella opened the latch on the house gate and walked to the back yard, slipping her feet into the pool. She sat on the steps and let her mind go.

Tears flowed freely down her face as she made plan after plan for her life. She would divorce Jimmy, first thing. She would continue to live at the Ranch and become Billy's partner. She had learned a lot about the business from her father and Billy could teach her the rest. Jessica was her best friend from high school and still lived in Forks. She would reconnect with lost friends and refuse to date until she felt healthy, both mentally and physically. Determination became her best weapon to escape the hell she had been living.

She wasn't aware of how long she had been sitting and planning until Billy came up behind her.

"Let's go inside, little girl," he said softly.

She bristled at the comment but didn't say anything. He followed her into the house and watched her climb into her fathers recliner curling up like a lost puppy. He waited while fresh tears fell sitting silently until she was ready to talk.

"I'm going to divorce Jimmy," she informed him with a new confidence.

"That's a positive step," he agreed.

"It was worse than it looks." Her eyes went to her lap unable to look him in the face while she spoke. "He did some permanent damage." She sucked in a shaky breath. "I can't have children."

Billy put his fist to his mouth and bit down on his knuckles to contain his rage. His eyes filled with tears and he suddenly felt out of his league. He didn't know how to respond or what words would lend comfort. He wanted to hit something, preferably Jimmy White. His leg began moving up and down at a frantic pace as he nervously sat in his chair.

"I know you are very disappointed in me," she mumbled, raising her head to look at him.

He only shook his head back and forth and swallowed hard. The silence was so loud, but neither one had the words to end it. Finally the sound of the back door opening drew their attention. Sue walked in and headed directly for Bella pulling her into a tight hug. The tension in the room was palpable.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

Bella looked at Billy and his head was turned away, still biting on his knuckles. Sue followed her gaze and looked back and forth between the two. "What's going on?"

That was it, Bella broke. She buried her head in Sue's neck and sobbed loudly. Her entire body heaved with anger, sorrow, shame, and regret. Billy stood and walked out the back door leaving Sue to handle the fragile girl. He hurried to the horse ties behind the arena and began punching the solid wood over and over again.

"Shhh….it will be okay," Sue repeated.

"I'm alone. I am totally alone," Bella said between sobs.

"No, you are not alone. You have me and you have Billy. You are ours now and we will never leave you."

"I tried so hard, I wanted to make him happy but I couldn't do it."

"Are we talking about Jimmy?" Sue asked as she pulled back to look at Bella's face.

"Yes, I'm going to divorce him. He was so cruel."

"Listen, this is an area I am too familiar with, so you look at me and listen."

Bella wiped her face with her hands and took a deep breath meeting Sue's stare.

"You did nothing wrong. Do you hear me? NOTHING! Men who push a woman down are the best liars around. They are predators, who seek out people to hurt. Would you blame a child for being molested by a pedophile? No, you wouldn't, so don't blame yourself for being Jimmy's victim."

Bella shook her head in agreement but wasn't sure she was actually absorbing the words. "I wasted so much time without my parents and I will never get it back."

"No, sweetheart you won't. But there is nothing we can do about that. The clock will continue to tick and the sun will continue to rise and fall. All we can do is make things better from this moment forward. We will help you, dear."

"Okay." Bella felt empowered by Sue's words and determination. "I need to find a lawyer."

"No, first you need to come let me fix you something to eat. We don't want you getting sick." Sue took her hand and pulled her toward a chair.

"Do you think Billy is okay?" Bella asked after looking out the window.

Sue was pulling food from the fridge. "I'm sure he is pissed and wanting to hit something. It seems to be a male character trait….hit something to feel better."

"Has he ever hit you?" Bella asked in astonishment.

"No, but he has hit walls, trees, horse trailers…..you name it."

"Does it scare you?" She couldn't imagine how terrified she would be if she saw Billy punching something. He was a big man and usually such a gentle soul around her.

"He can hit whatever he wants as long as he doesn't destroy anything of mine or make me stitch him up."

Bella felt a shudder run through her body. She had many stitches from Jimmy using her body to punch. She wondered how many Sue had from her other relationship. It was not something she wanted to have in common with the wonderful woman in front of her. Everyone in town knew Sue's story and she feared she would become the next topic of gossip.

It would be too much to ask of a small town to let Bella quietly return to her life in Forks. A divorced girl of two wealthy dead residence of such prominence as Charlie and Renee Swan would surely be a scandal too big to resist. She resigned herself to being pretty much a hermit for the next few months.

2

The last of the winter run off was making its way down the swollen streams. The snow had been heavy this past winter offering Bella the refuge she needed. Spring brought new hope and she was tired of being hidden away in the large house.

A truck pulled up to the automatic gate and honked. Billy hit the button to swing the large entrance open and stood in the parking area waiting for the vehicle to pull up. It was filled with boy scouts coming for a tour of the ranch.

"Hey," she called out to Billy, "Do you want me to do the honors for you?"

"You feel up to it?

"Sure, why not."

She was grinning from ear to ear as the boys loaded out of the back camper. "Welcome to Swan Ranch, I'm Bella Swan."

The boys were loud and not paying too much attention except for one boy in particular. He was staring at Bella like he recognized her. She looked at him closely to see if he resembled somebody she knew, possibly the younger brother of an old school mate.

He didn't turn away from her gaze, but kept staring directly at her. She felt uncomfortable and moved her attention to the scout master.

"I'll take you on the nature trail first and then we will make our way to the arena," she smiled while leading him across the parking area. The boys followed along and she noticed the strange boy making his way to the front.

She stopped at the trail head and asked the boys to be quiet and listen for a minute. "This trail was made by my father, for my mother as an anniversary present. She loved bird watching and spent a lot of time walking this trail. It is professionally groomed and bird seed is kept out year around."

"There are several places along the trail to sit and watch the different species of birds. I see you all have your binoculars, so I will only ask that you remain quiet and not scare the birds."

Many of the boys were pushing and poking each other making Bella sure they would not see very many birds this day. It didn't matter, the trail was beautiful in its own right and she would enjoy walking it again.

They headed up a slight incline and she noticed the boy who stared at her speed up until he was walking directly next to her. She looked down at him and smiled.

"Hi," she offered looking into the boy's eyes. They were an odd color of green, almost translucent. He had an olive tint to his skin even though he wasn't tanned, making his eyes stand out even more. A mop of brown hair with golden highlights made her hand twitch with the desire to reach out and try to straighten the locks.

"Hi," he grinned back at her. "Do you like living here?" he asked as if he was one adult speaking to another.

"Do you mean at the Ranch or in Forks?" she asked and then wondered why she even bothered. It seemed like an odd question for a boy of his age to ask.

"I guess both, aren't you from Texas?"

She instantly tensed and turned her attention away from his prying eyes. Something about him made her uncomfortable. She was sure he must have a sibling her age and had heard all kinds of gossip about her.

"What's your name?" she asked, none too politely.

"Edward Masen." He looked hurt by her rudeness.

Her mind began trying to process the name. She couldn't quite place it but it sounded familiar. He kept watching her with his head tilted while they walked, waiting for an answer. She sped up trying to ignore his curiosity.

The group stopped at the first sitting bench and looked over the incline on the side of the trail. It dropped off to a steep slant but was covered in a variety of trees. Most of the boys were looking through their binoculars trying to find their houses in town instead of looking for birds. Edward never lifted his off his chest but continued to stare at Bella.

She made her way over to the leader and pulled him aside. "What is up with the Edward kid? He is kind of freaking me out."

The leader rested his arm on his large beer belly and leaned in close to speak without the boy hearing. "He's a different duck; way too mature for his age. His father was Charles Masen; he died while mowing the lawn a couple of years back. His mother put him in scouts so he can have a male role model, but he doesn't fit in too well."

"Elizabeth Masen?" she asked suddenly remembering the family.

"Yeah, she has two older girls; in their thirties I think, Rosalie and Alice. Edward was a change of life baby. His mom is like… sixty and works at the hospital. The kid is alone a lot."

Bella felt her heart soften and was sorry for being so rude to him. He couldn't help it if his odd colored eyes looked like he was staring into her soul. She returned to the group and headed further down the trail. Edward regained the spot next to her and she smiled at him without looking directly into his face.

"How old are you?" he asked as they walked.

"Don't you know it is rude to ask a woman her age?" she teased.

"Why?" he asked, "You can ask me how old I am."

She laughed out loud and hoped he wasn't offended. "Okay, I'll bite, how old are you, Edward?"

His mouth formed into a big smile showing his perfect teeth. "I'll be fourteen on May thirteenth."

"Wow, you must be excited to be a freshman next year," she teased but he only groaned.

"It's still Junior High," he pointed out.

Lowering her voice she whispered to him, "I'll be twenty-one in November."

"What day?" he asked.

"The second, does it matter?"

His brow furrowed in thought and she could almost see his brain counting the amount of time between their ages. He finally stopped thinking and turned back to her. "Are you excited to finally be an adult?"

She felt like he had slapped her in the face so she scowled at him. What did he know about being an adult? She was divorced and had buried both of her parents. That meant way more than years on a calendar. She unconsciously quickened her pace trying to get away from his curious questions. He matched her speed step for step.

"Are you mad?' he inquired.

She sighed loudly and began pinching the bridge of her nose with her finger and thumb. "Um…..no, I'm not mad. I just think we should stick to talking about the trail."

Edward fell back into the crowd of boys and Bella instantly felt guilty for being mean to a boy that needed attention. She wanted to be free from the feelings his question brought up. She didn't like being the freak that was afraid to talk to a thirteen year old boy. But there was something about him that made her uneasy, something beyond those damn eyes.

She conducted the remainder of the tour without looking directly at Edward. He stayed in the middle of the crowd so she couldn't tell if he was looking at her or not. When they made their way to the pool area boys began throwing their shirts on the deck and anxiously waited for permission to jump in.

"Okay guys," Bella began, "the pool is heated so it will be more comfortable if you stay in the water. You can use the diving board but if I see more than one on at a time, I will make it off limits."

The boys began jumping in screaming "cannonball" as they made a combined huge splash. Edward took off his shirt but didn't jump into the pool. Bella sat on a lounge chair pulling it close to the pool to act as lifeguard. The scout leader pulled his chair into the shade and began barking at boys who were getting too rowdy. Edward sat on the steps with his head down.

"Edward," Bella yelled to the boy, "Come here."

He smiled and jumped up quickly to make his way next to her. "Do you not like to swim? Or do you not know how?" She suddenly worried about embarrassing him by pointing out he wasn't in the water.

His smile faded and he walked over to the diving board. He stepped onto the board and waited for Bella to meet his gaze; then he jumped effortlessly flipping once and twisting into a dive. The other boys all began whooping and begging him to do more tricks. Bella followed his perfect swimming to the steps. He climbed out of the pool and sat back on the steps like he had earlier.

_What was going on with this kid, _Bella thought. She didn't know if he was mad or insulted at her but something had changed his mood from the flirty boy on the trail to the sulking kid in front of her. When he finally looked at her again she motioned for him to come with her into the house. He grabbed a towel wrapping it around his waist and followed her through the doorway.

"Edward, I apologize. I have been rude to you and it isn't your fault. I have some major adult drama going on in my life and I shouldn't take it out on you."

He shook his head but didn't speak. "Friends?" she asked.

"Friends," he murmured.

"Want to help me serve the cookies?

He finally looked up at her directly into her eyes. She felt the same jolt she had felt earlier. They were not the eyes of a young boy and it was unsettling. His mouth slowly pulled upwards into a grin, "Yeah, I'll help you, but don't give Mike a cookie. He ate the ones from Eric's lunch box, but Eric doesn't know it yet."

"Which one is Mike?' she asked as she laughed.

"You'll know," he smiled as he lifted the cookie tray and followed her back onto the patio.

"Cookies… cool," came a scream from a chubby boy who headed straight for Edward.

Bella leaned over to speak into Edward's ear. "Mike, I presume?"

Edward winked at her causing her to feel disturbed again. He didn't act like a young teen; his actions and movements seemed natural and not rehearsed. She turned her attention back to Mike.

"I'm going to hand you some cookies and I want you to give them to Eric, okay?"

"Aw…that's not fair," he complained. He reached out and took the cookies and turned to a small, frail looking boy. "Here Eric, sorry for eating the cookies in your lunch box."

"That's okay," the boy comforted him, "Tyler spit on them, so I wasn't going to eat um."

Edward and Bella looked at each other and doubled over in laughter as Mike turned green. "That will teach you to steal from other boys," Bella added as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

The boys ate their cookies and drank juice boxes and began preparing to leave. Bella noticed Edward did all the cleaning up, even picking up the scout masters empty juice and throwing it away. She could tell he was a responsible boy and decided to offer him a job.

"Edward, are you interested in a job? It would be stuff like mowing the lawn and helping Billy clean the stalls….that type of manual labor. I could pay you ten bucks an hour."

He looked at her warily, his translucent eyes looking deep into her thoughts. "For the summer?' he asked.

"If you like, but if you want something more I could use you after school."

His face lit up and he assured her he would be there at three-thirty the next day. Bella instantly thought about his leader saying he needed male role models and promised herself to have him work with Billy as much as possible.

At three-twenty the following afternoon Edward rang the door bell. Bella had decided to have him work on the roses. They all needed to be pruned and tied back, as well as mulched. Billy had filled two wheelbarrows with rose food and mulch, but was too busy with a sick bull to work with Edward.

"Hey, kid," Bella greeted him warmly. "Here's a pair of gloves, please leave them on so you don't get stuck by the thorns." She showed him what she wanted him to do and left him working enthusiastically.

It was only two hours later when he came back to the door. His hair was soaked, Bella hadn't noticed the rain moving in. "I covered the wheelbarrows with a tarp and I threw the clippings into the mulch bin," he said with pride.

"You are a great worker, Edward. I'm really glad I hired you." She motioned for him to follow her into the house. He removed his shoes and quickly caught up with her.

"Are you hungry?" She handed him a plate before getting his response. He looked at the hamburger and chips and smiled. "Have a seat," she instructed.

Billy walked through the door at that point and she handed him a plate, too. He sat across from Edward at the table as Bella made her way to the end. Billy eyed Edward trying to size him up.

"You look like a strong boy," he finally said.

"I am," Edward beamed, "I can do anything you want me to." His eyes suddenly fell to his plate, "I'm not good on horses though; I've only ridden one."

Billy chuckled, "I appreciate your honesty. I know a lot of cowboys who think they are good but haven't managed to ride even one."

Edward instantly tried to clarify his meaning, "Oh, not like a cowboy, I mean not like a rodeo ride, just a ride at a carnival."

"I think Billy is teasing you, Edward," Bella interjected, "And it's not very nice of him."

Billy just rolled his eyes and began talking about the bull he was working with. Edward listened intently at everything they said. Bella would listen and nod every once in awhile but didn't interrupt Billy as he went through his day. Edward thought of Bella as his boss but listening to Billy he began to think she worked for him. When it came time for desert Billy excused himself and went back to his sick bull.

"I have chocolate ice-cream or vanilla." Bella was speaking to Edward but not looking at him. He was staring at her as she stood with the freezer door open. She was not much taller than he was and she seemed…fragile.

"Can I have a scoop of both?" he asked.

She finally turned to look at him with a big grin. "Great idea, I think I'll do the same."

He watched her scoop out the ice cream into two bowls and walked over to the counter to get his portion. She looked up to smile at him, but her mouth never made it. He was looking at her with those strange eyes again. His face was the face of a young boy but his eyes made the hair on her arms stand up. She began fumbling with the lids to the cartons and didn't look at him again until he turned to return to the table.

"I can give you a ride home when you're done. We can just throw your bike into my truck."

"Okay," he said softly.

"Is there something wrong, Edward?"

"No, it's just really quiet at my house."

Her heart began to ache for this lonely boy. "I know what you mean. I don't enjoy my own company either."

"My mother works from midnight to noon four days a week. She sleeps all afternoon so I usually only see her before I go to bed. She gets called in a lot, too."

"I'm sorry," Bella offered, "You are welcome to come over whenever you need someone to talk with, or if you're bored or something."

His face lit up and he nodded. "It gets better, ya know."

She was confused at the turn their conversation took, "What gets better?"

"Missing them." He spooned a large portion of ice cream into his mouth.

She couldn't respond when he looked at her again with those haunting eyes, all she could do was nod.

3

After loading his wet bike into her truck she headed down the hill. Edward gave her directions and she realized he lived close to the hospital. He seemed sad to be going home and she understood his loneliness. She tried to engage him in conversation to lighten him up a little.

"Have you lived here long?" she asked

"Yeah, I've lived here my whole life. I have two sisters, but they are twenty eight and thirty one. They both live in Seattle."

"You must miss them very much."

Edward just shrugged at the comment. "They have their own families."

"Is your mom home, I would like to meet her?"

"Okay," he agreed. He jumped from the cab as soon as she pulled into his driveway and headed for the door. Bella took her time unloading the bike and was relieved to see his mother following him out to the truck.

"Hello, Mrs. Masen," she said with a smile while extending her hand. "I'm Bella Swan. I hope you don't mind Edward working for me."

"Please call me Elizabeth," the gentle woman pleaded. Her grey hair was pulled up into a bun and her ample chest made her the perfect stereotype of a caring nurse. "I can't thank you enough for letting Edward work for you. It is difficult for me to provide for him and pay the large hospital bills from his father. He will work hard, I promise."

"I can already see that," Bella assured her.

"I work nights and hate leaving him alone so much." She wrapped her soft arm around Edward's shoulders. Her eyes were a grey color that made Bella feel warm. She thought Edward must look more like his father.

"Hey, I have three extra rooms, so if you ever need someone to look after him, or if you don't want him home alone, he is welcome to use one at any time."

"I'm not a baby," he complained as his kicked at the rocks with his shoe.

"I don't think Ms. Swan was implying you're a baby, Edward. She has made a generous offer and you should thank her."

He looked up at Bella and she had to force herself not to look away. His eyes narrowed as if he was trying to decipher her thoughts. "Thank you," he finally said.

"I'm not there, yet," spilled out of her mouth. She didn't know where the words came from but Edward nodded as if he knew exactly what she was talking about.

"I can help," he responded so softly she wasn't sure she heard him right.

Bella was suddenly aware of Elizabeth looking at them warily. "Well, I better let you both get on with your evening. It was nice to meet you Elizabeth, I'll see you tomorrow Edward."

She drove home oblivious of what she was doing. She found herself in the garage and decided to talk to Billy about the weird feelings she had around Edward.

Billy was in the arena raking up the thick dirt floor. She couldn't remember how many times she had watched him do that exact thing along side her father. Only then did it dawn on her that he was probably missing Charlie as much as she was. After grabbing another rake she walked up beside him and started working.

"Want some company?"

"Sure, baby girl. What's up?"

"What do you think of Edward?"

He stopped raking and took a deep breath, "I have to say the kid does good work. At first I thought he was too young, but he seems to have an excellent work ethic. I can sure use him."

"Have you noticed his eyes?"

"His eyes?" Billy chuckled.

"Yeah, he has really freaky eyes. They look almost unnatural and not just the color; they look like they belong to an old man or something."

"Well," he hesitated, "As long as he works hard he can have any ole damn eyes he wants."

Bella huffed in irritation and said, "Forget it; I'll just talk to Sue about it. Men are clueless."

"What?" he demanded, "Just because I don't stare into a young man's eyes, you get pissy with me?"

"I said forget it," she walked off angrily.

"Hey, Bella?"

She turned to look at Billy in exasperation. "What?"

He turned sideways and pulled on his ear, "Don't my ears look like they belong to a French woman?" He doubled over in laughter and Bella grew angrier.

"Bite me!" She said and stalked off in a huff with the sound of Billy's laughter ringing in her ears.

"You're not the first woman to say that to me," he yelled after her.

The week pretty much followed the same pattern. Edward showed up after school and worked on the roses along the fence. After eating dinner with Bella and Billy he would jump on his bike and ride home. On Friday he asked what time he needed to show up Saturday morning.

Billy jumped into the conversation. "I need help loading some stock for Casper. Do you think you can help me with that?"

"Billy," Bella brought his attention back to her, "do YOU think he can handle it?"

Edward didn't like being talked about and thought he at least deserved a chance. "I'm strong, and I listen really well," he demanded, "I can do it."

While Edward was looking away, Bella raised her eyebrows and gave Billy a stern look. He got her message and tried to reassure her he wouldn't do anything to hurt the kid. Edward filled with pride when Billy told him to show up at the arena by eight o'clock Saturday morning.

"Make it nine and I'll let him stay and watch a movie," Bella smiled at Edward as he looked at Billy hopefully.

"Fine, as long as I don't have to stay. I'm not interested in watching 'Finding Nemo' or 'The Incredibles."

Edward growled in frustration and crossed his arms over his chest. Bella laughed at how easily he became offended over his age. With a mother and two sisters he must have to deal with a lot of babying.

After doing dishes she made some popcorn and showed Edward the collection of DVD's. He seemed fascinated by her father's collection of old black and white movies.

"Can we watch this one?" he asked as he tossed her a DVD.

Bella looked at the cover and looked back at Edward. "Twelve Angry Men?" She raised her eyebrow suspiciously. "You don't have to prove anything to Billy."

"I know," he said angrily. "I really want to watch it."

Bella sat and stared at Edward for a minute slapping the DVD case against her leg. "What's going on here?" she finally asked.

"I want to watch a classic. What's wrong with that?" He said in defense.

She took a deep breath and narrowed her eyes. "Edward, do you get along with kids your age?"

He looked at her in confusion, his eerie eyes boring into her.

"I mean, you seem so mature for your age and I wonder if other boys have a hard time understanding you." She tried to explain without hurting him further.

"I don't care if they do." He was defensive now. "I like me, so I don't care what others think."

She noticed how his words sounded like something he had to say often as she felt awful for bringing the subject up.

"I'm not saying they wouldn't like you. You are a very likable person, Edward. I was just curious if you had close friends."

His demeanor seemed to relax a bit. "I have always been around adults. I guess I relate better to them, but yeah, I have friends."

Bella decided not to push it any further and stood up to put in the DVD. The sound of a car honking as it pulled up behind the house caught their attention.

"Just a second, Edward, I'll be right back." She headed out the sliding glass door.

Edward watched through the glass as Bella hugged a woman who looked to be around her age. She was large, not heavy, but tall with an hourglass figure. In comparison Bella seemed like a child next to her. They spoke for a few minutes and then headed to the house.

"Edward, this is my friend Jessica. We went to high school together."

"Are you babysitting?" Jessica asked without acknowledging Edward.

"No," Bella hurriedly answered. "Edward is my friend, he works with Billy."

He noticed how she put him into a totally different category than what he really was. He knew he was a kid that she took pity on and offered him a job. But he couldn't help but feel happy at the way she introduced him. He extended his hand to shake Jessica's.

"You have to come with me to Sud's tonight. They are having an awesome band and I know the lead singer."

Bella looked at Edward and he expected her to begin making excuses for ending their movie night, but instead he saw panic. She was afraid to go to Sud's and he wasn't sure why, but he felt the need to rescue her from Jessica's proposition.

"Um….my mom is working all night, so I guess Bella really is kind of babysitting me."

Jessica glared at him and turned back to Bella, "Come on, we won't be out late. He can stay here alone for a few hours."

"No," Bella insisted, "I can't do that, maybe another time."

"Fine," Jessica whined. "But you can't refuse next time….promise?"

Edward didn't like her. She was pushy and clearly didn't care about her Bella's feelings since she seemed oblivious to her obvious discomfort. He was watching Bella closely trying to see if she needed him to intervene again. She was looking back at him, as if he was where she was gathering her strength. It made him feel good, like she needed him.

After half an hour Jessica finally left. Bella's hands were shaking as she tried to go back to the DVD. Edward walked over and took the case from her hand. Instead of putting the disc in the player he walked back to the couch and sat down. Bella sat on the fireplace seat looking stunned.

He took a deep breath and began talking softly. "I want to be a doctor when I grow up… I have to be. I have to so other kids won't lose their father's to heart disease like I did. I was home alone with my dad when he fell to the grass as he was mowing. I tried to help him, I did the best I could but his heart was so damaged nothing could be done."

Tears began to form in Bella's eyes as he continued.

"It wasn't a total surprise, he had been having chest pains, but he called it heartburn. He should have said something so I wouldn't have to relive it over and over again."

He looked at Bella and took a deep breath.

"My mother needs me to be the man of the house; even though she's seldom there. It hurts her too much to be home….I think. At least that is what I tell myself. because it is easier to believe than to think she doesn't want to be around me."

His eyes were filling with tears now too, but he kept going. He sensed Bella needed to hear his pain in order to let go of hers.

"I can't relate to kids my age because most of them don't understand loss. I do." He looked at her and let his own tears fall freely down his face. "I do," he repeated.

She nodded. "I got divorced recently." She noticed Edward's eyes widen in surprise. "I lived in Texas with my hus…ex husband. He was very abusive."

Edward noticed a shiver run through her when she mentioned the relationship.

"The hardest part is trying to forgive myself. I never thought I would be that person, you know? I never said anything, and I have to relive it over and over again, too."

He nodded.

"How can I go out with other men if I can be so weak?"

He waited.

"I don't want to be afraid, but I am."

He smiled softly.

"I'm not ready. I'm just not ready," she sighed.

"There's your answer," he finally spoke. "If you're not ready, don't do it."

Her face blushed as she looked into his wise eyes. "How did you get so smart?" she teased.

He shrugged without smiling. "Unfortunately, wisdom comes from experience."

"Okay, stop," she insisted. "Now you're freaking me out. Are you sure you are not a thirty year old man trapped in a teenager's body?"

"I wish," he mumbled too low for her to hear.

He opened the DVD case and took out the disk. He walked over to the machine and loaded it before heading to the kitchen to get the popcorn. They watched the movie with an unspoken understanding of each other's pain. Edward wanted to feel needed, and Bella wanted to feel safe.


	2. Chapter 4 thru 6

4

It had been five weeks since Edward became employed at Swan Ranch. Bella was beginning to think of him as a little brother. He stayed over more and more often and even Billy took a liking to him, which was saying a lot.

He was helping with the stock one day as he chattered nonstop to Billy and Bella At one point Edward said, "Bella and Me," causing Billy to ask, "What about Miami?" From that point Edward constantly referred to Bella as, Miami.

Edward liked having something special that he alone would call her. It made him feel more connected to her to have a pet name. Bella never complained about being called something different and he thought it helped her separate him from Jimmy.

It was three o'clock when Bella finally checked the clock again. They day was dragging by and she was listening closely to hear when Edward arrived. She set up a birthday cake and decorations on the patio next to the pool area.

Her heart sank when she heard Elizabeth was scheduled to work on Edward's birthday, so she wanted to make it special. She had called earlier in the month to get Elizabeth's approval on his gift. It was extravagant she knew, but it wasn't everyday you get a new little brother coming into your life.

"Miami?" she heard him call out.

"In the backyard," she hollered back and hid behind a deck chair.

The glass door slid open as she yelled, "Happy Birthday!"

Edward jumped and grabbed his heart. "Man, you scared the crap out of me."

She ignored his reaction and ran to take him by the hand, "Close your eyes, I couldn't wrap your present so promise to keep them shut."

He put his free hand over his eyes and let her lead him blindly across the patio. "Okay, when I count to three you can open your eyes. One. Two. Three."

Edward let his hand drop from his face and his eyes focused on a brand new silver and black motor scooter, with a huge red bow on the seat. "No way," he screamed and ran over to get a closer look.

"Yes, it's yours. I already got permission from your mom, but you have to promise me you will only ride it to and from work. If you get caught riding around town I'm not responsible for any tickets you get."

He removed the bow and sat on the seat with a huge smile on his face. He looked over at Bella and his smile faded, "I can't let you do this Miami, it's too much."

"It's rude to refuse a gift, Edward. Plus you look really hot sitting there. All the middle school girls will be fighting over you."

He hissed at her and shook his head. "I thought you said I could only ride it to and from work. Just how are all these girls going to see me?"

She waved off his comment before picking up her camera. "Girls are overrated anyway, now smile."

Bella held her camera up and began zooming in to capture his smile. Her body froze as she looked at the view screen. He was looking directly into the camera waiting for her to press the button.

She took several pictures as she tried to figure out what it was that made her so uncomfortable. It had been a long time since she had been bothered by his eyes. Seeing them through the lens brought back the uneasy feeling.

She zoomed in closer, blocking out most of his face to look only at his eyes. Nobody would believe it was a picture of a fourteen year old boy who just received a birthday gift. His eyes looked like a man's eyes, a man who knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling. She felt exposed and vulnerable.

The patio was silent and she was unaware of the uncomfortable tension growing into a tangible feeling. Slowly she raised her eyes over the camera to look at Edward. He wasn't smiling anymore, but staring right at her.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a soft scared voice.

Bella shook her head and tried to adjust the camera again for another picture. Edward climbed off the scooter and walked over to where she stood. Instinctively she backed away from him. He stopped, hurt by her movement and let his own eyes drop to the floor.

"Cut the cake, Edward," she said in a shaky voice.

"Miami, what's wrong? You look afraid of me or something." She could hear in his voice how much she was hurting him and she felt awful doing this to him on her birthday.

Billy and Sue opened the gate at that moment, so Bella picked up the knife and handed it to Edward, "I'm fine, just cut the cake."

The rest of the evening she noticed him watching her carefully. Sue picked up on the tension and pulled Bella into the laundry room. "What's going on, are you fighting with Edward?"

"No, why would I fight with a child, especially on his birthday?" Bella wouldn't look at Sue in the eyes and fidgeted nervously.

"Well something is going on. You look like you are going to fall apart any second and he looks like a puppy that lost his bone."

Bella could feel her body shaking and wrapped her arms around herself in an attempt to hold it together. "Sue, do you think there is anything odd about Edward?" she asked with a whisper.

"Odd, like what?"

"His eyes, have you ever looked at his eyes?"

"Sure, he has beautiful eyes. They almost look like colored glass."

"Go get my camera from the picnic table and I'll show you what I mean."

Sue left the laundry room and made her way to the patio. Billy was busy showing Edward how to drive the scooter so nobody noticed when she picked up the camera and headed back into the house.

Bella grabbed it from her hands as soon as she entered the laundry room. "Look," she said, turning the screen so Sue could look at the picture of only Edward's eyes. "Does this look like the eyes of a fourteen year old?"

Sue studied the picture for a moment and then shrugged. "I don't know, since I know it is Edward it is hard for me to be objective. His eyes are beautiful, I wouldn't call them odd."

Bella sat the camera down hard in frustration. "Am I losing my mind? Am I so screwed up that a sweet kid I think of as a brother has me freaked?"

"Are you afraid of him?" Sue asked in shock and took hold of Bella's hand.

"No…I don't know. Sometimes when he looks at me it is like he can see into my soul. Like all my secrets are laid out for him to see. When I talk to him I feel like I am saying one thing, but he sees something else, something I can't even admit to myelf."

Sue wrapped her arms lovingly around Bella, "Honey, I think it is the secrets you need to focus on, not Edward's eyes. He seems like family to you, and you have worked so hard to keep things from your family, it makes you uncomfortable. If you see him as a brother than talk to him like a brother, I am sure he needs a sister, too!"

After a few steadying breaths Bella hugged Sue tightly. "You're right; maybe I will look into getting some counseling."

"Good girl," Sue said before kissing her cheek. "Let's go enjoy some cake."

As they stepped onto the patio Bella could hear the engine of the scooter going back and forth on the driveway. It made her smile to know Edward was enjoying the gift. She saw a box lying on the table that had been unwrapped. It was a Tony Lama box.

"Did you get Edward boots?" Bella asked Sue.

"Billy said if he was going to go with him to the various rodeo's this summer he had to look the part."

"Billy's taking Edward?" Bella couldn't contain the shock in her voice.

"Sure, he's only going along to the close ones. Billy will use the same drivers for the distance events, like he usually does. I think he likes Edward more than he lets on."

Bella bit her lip in worry. She knew rodeos could get pretty rough and rowdy and she wasn't sure she wanted Edward in that environment. Sue reached out and shook her elbow. "Your dad worried, too. Edward's a bright kid and he will be fine. Plus, Billy will watch him like a hawk."

When the guys returned they all sat down and ate cake. Edward was anxious to get to work and Bella had to tell him again and again that he had the day off.

Elizabeth told her Edward loved Hawaiian pizza so she arranged for a delivery later in the evening. Billy refused to eat what he called, "sissy ass pizza" and took Sue out for steaks.

As Bella cleaned up the party decorations and wrapped up the left over pizza for Edward to take home, he finally asked her about her earlier reaction.

"Miami, can we talk about what happened this afternoon?"

She smiled lovingly at him and nodded, "I guess I kind of freaked out a little. I talked it over with Sue and decided to get some counseling."

"Was it something I did?" he asked concerned.

"No, not at all, sometimes I feel like your eyes see through me. It makes me….uncomfortable."

"Like x-ray vision," he asked confused.

She couldn't help but laugh. How much simpler it would be if that was the case. She motioned for him to sit down by her.

"I have some trust issues because of my marriage. It was really….bad." She couldn't think of a word to adequately describe the nightmare she had lived through.

"Maybe if you tell me about it I can help."

She began to shake her head but remembered Sue telling her to talk to him like a brother. "Okay, I'll try."

He reached out and took her hand into his and she smiled at the effort he was putting forth to comfort her.

"Jimmy drank a lot. I mean a lot! Some people are funny drunks, or affectionate drunks and some are mean drunks. He was a very mean drunk."

Edward squeezed her hand slightly encouraging her to continue. He made her feel comfortable with his concern and knew to remain quiet and let her talk. She tried not to look directly at his eyes as she spoke.

"The first time Jimmy hit me I was stunned. I never saw it coming. He apologized profusely but later mentioned how much it bothered him that I made him hit me. I guess that was what planted the seed in my head that it was my entire fault. It just got worse every day."

She pulled up her shirt to show the jagged scar across her stomach. Edward gasped in shock and bit his lip as he stared at the faded injury.

"He did this with a beer bottle." She decided to leave out the more gruesome details.

Slowly, as if not to scare her he reached out and lightly touched the scar. Tears began to fall at how much love he placed in his touch. He was very much a brother to her in every sense of the word. He gently took her shirt and lowered it before looking at her face.

"Is he in jail?" Edward finally asked.

Bella chuckled but not out of amusement. "No, he's not. Part of that is my fault. I didn't call the police when it wasn't so bad, I mean when I could remember everything." She eyed him to see if he understood her meaning. "The bad times, when I blacked out, I couldn't remember what had happened."

He frowned and looked at his lap. She watched as his jaw tightened and it didn't take a genius to read his thoughts. He wanted Jimmy to pay for what he had done to her and the thought of him getting away with everything angered Edward.

"I'm sorry Edward; I know this is not birthday talk. I was just trying to help you understand what was going on earlier. I'm going to get some counseling and take care of some of my psychotic tendencies." She laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"But, why do my eyes make you uncomfortable, I don't get it?"

"You have very unusual eyes, I'm sure you've heard that before."

He looked confused and a little embarrassed. "Most people tell me they like my eyes."

"I like your eyes, too," she tried to console him. "It really has nothing to do with you, Edward. I promise."

He nodded, but didn't seem to accept what she was telling him. He wanted to believe he brought her happiness and comfort, not causing her to freak out over something he couldn't do anything about. He loved to look at her, but decided to make an effort to keep his eyes down when they spoke.

After a couple of minutes of silence he finally decided to change the subject and smiled, "Thank you for the scooter. You rock, Miami."

She blew out the air she had been holding in and pulled him into a tight hug, "I'm glad you like it."

5

The summer passed quickly. Billy spent so much time with Edward and took him on many trips. Edward had a knack with animals and learned quickly under Billy's careful tutelage. Edward saw first hand how much care the stock received and hated the protesters who constantly stood in front of events picketing.

One of the biggest changes in Edward's life came when Billy talked him into playing football. Working on the ranch had added bulk and muscle to Edward's body and Billy felt playing football would help him fit in with kids his age. Bella thought Billy just wanted to attend the games and have someone to cheer for.

Bella spent the summer in counseling and hanging out with Jessica. Counseling was exhausting emotionally, but not near as exhausting as keeping up with Jessica's love life. She went from one bad relationship to another. Always picking the wrong kind of guy and believing every lie they threw her way.

It was the last Saturday before school started when Bella was lying next to the pool as Edward swam.

"Beeelllaaaa," Jessica yelled as she opened the back gate. "I've figured it out. I know the secret."

Jessica was dressed in a very short skirt and always wore too much make up. She had big hair and Edward wondered if she actually owned a mirror, he couldn't figure out why she would want to be the spectacle in the room, always standing out for her misguided fashion sense.

She rushed to Bella's side and glanced at Edward long enough to smirk at him.

He stopped swimming and held onto the underside of the diving board to keep his body out of the water. He was anxious to hear what Jessica was scheming for Bella now.

"What have you figured out?" Bella asked while looking at Edward skeptically.

"Men," she announced lifting her arms into the air in jubilee.

"Oh, this is going to be good. Let me hear it." Bella gave Jessica her undivided attention and Edward was glad she wasn't seeing the look of revulsion on his face as her friend talked way too fast.

"Only date ugly men!"

Bella rolled her eyes and laughed while Edward just shook his head.

"I'm serious, Bella. Ugly men are better at everything and I don't just mean…" she looked hesitantly over at Edward.

"I know what you mean, be decent in front of the child," Bella chastised.

Edward dropped from the board and began swimming again. He couldn't stomach listening to Jessica's romantic endeavors and didn't like Bella treating him as if he was a child.

Jessica pulled up a chaise next to Bella and sat down. "I think I'm in love," she sighed.

"Jessica you can't be in love after one date. You shouldn't even be able to judge if he is good at….you know, after one date."

Trying to slow Jessica down would be like trying to stop the earth from spinning. She was always impulsive and never seemed to learn from experience. They were opposites in every way.

In high school most of the girls would shy away from Jessica. She was loud, and brash, and forward in her associations with boys. Bella saw the sensitive side of her friend, the side that longed to be loved but pushed away any good thing as uninteresting or boring.

They were the perfect balance to one another. When Bella was cautious and reserved, never saying what she really felt, Jessica would be her voice. She encouraged her to try new things. When things got too crazy Bella was the only one who could pull Jessica back and act as a conscience.

Edward did not like Jessica at all. He felt she was a bad influence on Bella, no matter how hard Bella tried to tell him she knew where to draw the line. When he spoke to Billy about it he became even more perturbed.

"Bella needs someone to push her," Billy said, "I'm afraid all this stuff with Jimmy will make her close up and lock her heart forever."

"Yeah, but nobody wants her to turn out like Jessica." Edward protested.

"A little Jessica wouldn't be too bad."

Edward decided to end the conversation, but it didn't change his views on the subject. He never said anything outright to Bella, but he didn't hide his feelings either. Jessica treated him like a huge inconvenience, and he treated her like she had some contagious disease.

"I met this guy last night," Jessica began the details. "He is skinny and bald with bad skin, but he actually paid for the drinks all night." She sounded astonished. "We danced and talked and he didn't try to lay a finger on me. I had to seduce him!"

"No," Bella pretended to be astonished.

"And then," she continued, "He takes me to breakfast and asks to see me again tonight. Can you believe it?"

"Yes, Jessica, I can… and I am sure it is not because he is ugly. You finally gave a good guy a chance."

"Okay, but you have to go out with his friend. We will have so much fun and I'm sure he is just as good as Glen is."

"And just as ugly?" Bella questioned with a laugh.

"Maybe a little bit cuter," Jessica said as if it was a bad thing.

Edward sat still on the steps waiting for Bella to answer. His heart was beating quickly and not from the laps he just swam. He was tempted to break into their conversation and tell Jessica she was crazy for even suggesting Bella go out with anyone she found suitable.

"I'm not ready to date," Bella finally said. "I told my counselor I would wait until she thought it would be healthy. I'm not there yet."

Edward instantly felt guilty. He didn't want Bella to turn down dates because she was still too messed up in the head from Jimmy. He wanted her to be able to put all of that behind. He just didn't want someone Jessica found to be her first date. He climbed from the pool and sat in a chair.

"My God, Edward," Jessica exclaimed, "Look how huge you're getting."

He looked down at his abs and smiled. "I've been working out."

"Edward's playing football this year for Forks Jr. High." Bella explained.

"You're going to turn into a dumb jock?" she asked in all seriousness.

"Yeah, I working on limiting my cerebral synapses so I can converse with you," he replied in disgust.

"Edward," Bella warned.

"You smart ass little shit." Jessica yelled after him as he walked into the house. "Why do you let him hang out around here?"

"Don't go there Jessica. Edward is like a brother to me and I would never ask him to leave. Billy adores him too, so don't be rude to Edward in front of Billy, if you know what's good for you."

"Fine," she conceded rolling her eyes. "So, tell me how the counseling is going."

"So far, I know Jimmy is a low down good for nothing dog, and I treated my parents like crap."

"I could have told you that much, how much are you paying her?"

"No, you're not listening. I didn't say she told me that stuff, I said I know that stuff to be true. Big difference."

"Okay, how does that help?"

"I am taking ownership for my feelings for Jimmy and my guilt regarding my parents. It is all very subtle but very crucial."

Jessica stared at her for a few moments and then broke out laughing. "I think you just need to get laid."

"Yeah, because you are the epitome of great mental health. You think only ugly men can be nice."

"I'm telling you, Bella, it is a secret most women don't share. Now I know why all those models and actresses only date the geeky accountant types."

"Surely money has nothing to do with it," Bella teased.

"You can say that because you have money. People who don't, have to think about those things."

"I would trade every penny if I could get my parents back, or if I could take away even one scar that Jimmy left." Bella could feel tears threatening her eyes so she changed the subject. "So how did you meet Glen?"

"I was at Suds and my favorite song came on. I looked around for someone to dance with and saw Glen. He was close so I grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. I'm glad it was dark because I normally wouldn't give a guy like him the time of day."

"I hope you learned a valuable lesson about judging people too harshly."

Jessica dismissed her comment and grinned, "I found the perfect place for your birthday party."

"My birthday is over two months away, aren't you jumping the gun a bit?"

Edward made his way back to the pool. He was wearing shorts now and his hair was dry. He brought a diet Pepsi over to Bella and looked at Jessica. "You want one?"

"No, but thanks, cabana boy."

He ignored her and pulled up a chair next to Bella.

"We are having an adult conversation." Jessica said hoping he would leave.

"I'm not stopping you," he said before taking a swig of his pop.

"Can you tell your little brother to scram?"

Bella reached over and patted Edward on the knee, "No, I won't. Be nice Jessica, now where are you thinking of holding my birthday party?"

Edward was suddenly very interested in their conversation. He hadn't given any thought to her birthday and hoped to catch a few hints on what Bella would want.

"There is a new club opening in September called Pioneer. It is supposed to be similar to the old Gilly's back in the 80's."

"I'm not riding a mechanical bull," Bella protested.

"If we get you drunk enough you will." Jessica laughed. "Remember you will finally be legal."

"I've been to plenty of those places with Jimmy and I don't really care to relive those experiences."

Edward gave Jessica a disgusted look and headed to the arena to find Billy. He was hoping Billy could put a stop to the whole idea of dragging Bella out to be with a bunch of drunks. It also made him think about what he should do about her birthday. He received a scooter from her, what could he possibly get her in return.

Billy was cleaning out a stall for a horse that was due to arrive. He was going to train it for barrel racing and planned on working non stop for two weeks. "Hey there, Edward," he said when he saw the boy approaching.

"Do you need some help?" Edward offered.

"You can pull that wheelbarrow over and start spreading out the hay."

Edward worked for about five minutes before asking the question that was on his mind. "Do you have any suggestions for Miami's birthday?"

Billy stopped working and paused, "It isn't for awhile is it?"

"November second. I just heard Jessica talking to Miami about going to some club for her birthday and it got me thinking."

"Jessica, huh?" His brow creased. "I'll let you in on a secret. Bella loves things from the heart. Something homemade would be received better than something paid for. And she isn't the club type. I think Jessica will have her hands full getting Bella to go along with her plans."

"What are you getting her?"

"I usually leave that up to Sue." He laughed at the disappointment on Edward's face. "You have plenty of time to come up with something. Don't lose sleep over it."

"You coming to my game Friday?" Edward asked with pride.

"Wouldn't miss it, you excited for school to start?"

"No, I will miss being around here. With school and practice I won't be able to work as much."

"Don't worry about work; just make sure you come see us once in awhile."

Edward's eyes widened in surprise, "Oh, I plan on still coming around. I just feel badly that I won't be able to help out more."

"You just worry about keeping the trail groomed and that will make a huge difference. I can use the other guys to help me out."

Edward nodded and then broke into a smile, "I think I just figured out what to do for Miami's birthday. Thanks Billy," he yelled as he ran off.

Billy laughed at his youthful exuberance and was glad he helped in some small way. After an hour Sue walked into the stalls and come over to give Billy a kiss. "What's going on old man?"

"Edward is worried about Bella's birthday," he said as he pulled her into a hug and looked into her eyes. "He heard Jessica making plans; I think he feels a bit left out."

"Should I talk to her?" Sue asked.

"Naw, when school starts and he has all the little fillies chasing him he'll ease off his crush for Bella."

"You think he has a crush on her?" Sue asked with shock that she never saw it before.

"Are you kidding, the boy is so taken with her he can't see straight. He works his ass off around here just to impress her."

"You don't encourage him, do you?" Sue asked with concern over his young heart.

"No, it will pass," Billy said and leaned over to kiss Sue again. "Are you staying the night?"

"We'll see, you'll have to do your best to convince me."

6

Bella, Sue, and Billy made it to every football game, even the away games. Elizabeth came to a couple, but the cold weather kept her home for most of them. Billy filmed each game for Edward to study and share with his mother. Billy's plan to help Edward fit in with the other boys seemed to be working. He was at the ranch less and had friends inviting him to various things. Bella missed him, but felt happy for his apparent success.

They were all sitting around the dinner table as Edward kept texting various people trying to make plans for the evening.

"You're too popular for your own good," Bella ribbed.

"No I'm not," he insisted, "Halloween is just a big deal around here.

"What's your costume going to be?" Sue asked.

"I don't know. Girls keep asking me, so they can match with me or something, but I think that is dumb."

"Well, you better hurry and decide. Halloween is tomorrow," Sue pointed out.

"I don't really want to dress up, and all the parties will have beer so my mom won't let me go to any of them. I was hoping I could hang out here," he looked at Bella hopefully.

"Sure, we could have a scary movie marathon. I usually don't get too many trick or treater's, but I do dress up." Bella grinned.

"What are you going to be?" Edward asked and wondered if she would want him to match her.

"Cleopatra."

"What the hell," Billy laughed. "Isn't Halloween supposed to be scary?" 

"If you recall, she killed herself by letting a snake bite her," Bella defended.

"So, are you going as dead Cleopatra?" he asked.

"No, and stop cutting down my costume, I like it!"

"Are you dressing up, Billy?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I'm going as an Indian." He put two fingers behind his head and began making whooping noises. Sue smacked his arm in irritation.

Edward disappointed all the girls when he showed up to school in regular clothes. He also had to spend the day turning down party offers. Some of them were at local churches and he knew his mom would allow him to go, but he was looking forward to a movie night with Miami.

When he arrived at her house after practice it was dark and quiet. He wondered if she had forgotten he was coming. After calling her name several times she walked from the dark hallway into the family room. She was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt, no signs of Cleopatra anywhere.

"Did you change your mind on the costume?" he asked confused.

She burst into tears, stunning Edward into silence. He finally made his feet move and made his way over to where she was crying into her hands. He put his arms around her and was surprised to see he was now taller than she was. He awkwardly pulled her closer into his arms when she spoke.

"This is so stupid. You must think I am insane, all this over a ridiculous costume."

He didn't know what to say so he remained quiet.

"Come on," she said in between sniffs, "let's start the movie."

He sat on the sofa watching her carefully. She wiped her eyes with Kleenex and would sigh every so often. When the door bell rang Edward would jump up and offer a bowl of candy, always returning to his spot next to her on the couch.

She finally hit the mute button on the remote and turned to him. "I was really feeling like I had come a long way with my counseling and all."

He nodded, still confused.

"I feel….healed, or at least I thought I did until I put on my costume. It's so stupid and I shouldn't even bother you with this." She said as she pounded a fist to her knee.

"If it upset you than it's important," he offered.

She looked at him and shrugged. "I didn't think I was a vain person, but maybe I am."

Again, he waited silently in confusion.

"Wait here," she instructed as she walked back down the hallway to her room.

After several minutes she came out of her room and back into the family room. Edward smiled when he saw she was wearing her costume, complete with a black wig. "Nice," he said looking her up and down.

She had a look of panic in her eyes and she dropped her head down. "Really look at me, Edward."

He stepped closer and noticed how she tensed up. "I don't know what you mean."

She took a deep breath and pointed to the bare mid section. He looked down and noticed the faint jagged scar. She waited for several silent seconds and finally looked up at him.

His face was red and he was looking at his own feet. "Edward," she called to gain his attention. "I know you can see the scar."

He nodded but didn't look at her. "Miami, nobody's going to even see the scar," he whispered. "I can promise you nobody's going to see the scar."

"I know it's faded but it is still noticeable," she contradicted.

He stammered and wasn't sure quite how to say what he wanted to say. "Um…I don't think….I mean the costume has other….I think they will be looking at other things." He finally settled with.

Bella looked at him and then back at her costume. Only then did she notice the cleavage the bodice produced. She felt her own face blush and laughed at herself for putting poor Edward through this embarrassment.

"Oh," she said, "I guess I see your point." She reached up and held her breast in both hands. "I should wear this more often."

Edward only groaned and made his way back to the couch. "You could have come up with a better excuse to make me complement you than pretending to cry over your costume."

Bella grabbed a piece of candy from the bowl and threw it at his head, "I was crying for real," she insisted.

"Sure, next time just ask me to look at your boobs and leave out the drama," he tossed the candy back in her direction.

"You wish," she said as she made a run for the hallway to change. When she returned he had the movie on full blast and was lying on the couch covered in a blanket. She lay down next to him with her head at his feet and pulled the blanket over her body, too.

When the movie ended he looked at her with a serious expression; his eyes peering through her causing her body to shiver. "Miami," he said softly.

"Yes," she answered.

He pulled the blanket slowly off of her as she watched, mesmerized by the green glass staring at her. With one quick movement he tossed her off the couch right onto the floor. "Your feet really stink," he laughed.

She grabbed a pillow from the recliner and dove at him, covering his face. "See how well you breathe now."

He was easily stronger than she was but didn't use his full strength. They wrestled around for a minute before he had the pillow securely out of her hands and tossed it across the room. Bella was laughing hard as she tried to cover his mouth and nose with her hands. Every time she lifted them Edward would tickle her sides until she finally screamed, "Uncle."

When their laughter died down she climbed from the couch trying to catch her breath. "Thank you, Edward."

"For what, you didn't win," he informed her.

"I did win, I won the day I met you. I never thought I would be able to horse around like that without bringing up horrible memories. You never made me feel trapped or weak," she smiled from ear to ear, "and I never felt you use your full strength."

"I would never hurt you," he said seriously.

"I know, I know it with all my heart."

Edward jumped up from the couch and put his hand out for hers. "Do you want to see your birthday present?"

"It's technically two days away," she tried not to sound too excited.

"I have another one for the actual day. This is a pre-present."

"Okay, but promise you didn't spend too much money," she insisted.

"This didn't cost me a dime," he promised.

They made their way out of the house and towards the large tack shed. Edward led the way as Bella kept her eyes closed tightly. He sat her on a bench inside the shed and began moving things around making tons of noise. He finally sat something covered in newspaper on her lap. "Okay, open your eyes."

Bella looked down at her legs and began pulling the paper off of her gift. Her hands froze and she gasped when she saw what it was. She held the birdhouse up to get a better look. It was made from wood cut into the shape of a heart and sanded to smooth perfection.

"I want you to hang it on the trail," Edward announced. "I know the trail was made for your mother, but you're the heart of this place now."

Bella looked up at him with tears in her eyes. He was a mere boy, she could see that, but he somehow knew her soul. He brought friendship into her heart when she thought it would be cold and broken forever. How could she ever tell him how much he meant to her? She stood without speaking and wrapped her arms around his neck. He slowly placed his arms lightly around her waist as if he was hugging an elderly spinster aunt.

She pulled back and looked into his beautiful eyes. He looked away feeling nervous. He didn't want her to be uncomfortable and he knew sometimes his eyes made her feel that way. She put her hand to his chin and pulled him back to meet her gaze. Her smile comforted him and he couldn't help but form his own smile.

"This is the best present I have ever been given, thank you." She leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek.

"Well, it's no scooter," he conceded.

"No, it's so much better than a scooter. This is something you made with your own hands. And it is absolutely beautiful. I'm going to pick the perfect spot for it to hang tomorrow."

"No," he said a little too emphatically. "You can't hang it until your real birthday."

"Okay, that's a little odd but whatever." She narrowed her eyes and looked at him suspiciously.

"Remember it is only part of your present. Can I ask you a question without making you mad?"

"Edward," she protested, "when have I ever gotten mad over a question?"

He looked at her trying to suppress a smile. She tried to think back over the past seven months to a time she got angry with him. The only thing that came to mind was her reaction to his other-worldly eyes. Hopefully he didn't interpret that to mean she was angry with him.

"Are you going with Jessica to Pioneers?" he asked.

"Why, do you think I should?"

He laughed uncomfortably as he shook his head. "I just think with everything you've been through it wouldn't be a good environment, but I have never been there so I shouldn't judge. I also don't thing Jessica is…." He stopped talking and looked around nervously.

"Its okay, Edward," she reassured him, "I know what you mean about Jessica. She takes some getting used to, but I know she has my well being at heart and I know she would never intentionally try to hurt me."

He only nodded. "Come on," she took his hand leading him back to the house. The birdhouse sat in the middle of the table as she continued to admire it.

"I can't believe you made this yourself. You should make some for Sue's shop. I bet they would sell like crazy."

"Naw, yours is an original," he laughed.

The doorbell rang so Edward grabbed the candy bowl and opened the door.

"Hi, Edward," female voices sang in unison. "We came to get you," one girl giggled.

Bella walked up behind where Edward was standing, red-faced and looking at his feet. A group of five girls were standing on the porch dressed in various costumes. A blonde who was wearing a sexy witch costume seemed to be the ringleader.

"Hi," she said to Bella. "I hope you don't mind if we steal Edward away?"

Edward turned to look at Bella, his discomfort obvious. "Are these classmates of yours, Edward?"

He looked back at the girls and whispered, "Yea."

Bella was torn. She wanted Edward to feel comfortable around girls his own age but she hated watching him cringing at the thought of leaving with this particular group of girls. She finally invited them in to get a better read on what they were after.

The girls were loud and very flirtatious. Victoria was the leader and the other four girls quickly agreed with anything she said. Edward introduced Bella as, Miami, then rapidly informed them it was a pet name. Victoria did not like the fact Edward had a pet name for someone.

"Give me a pet name," she insisted with her bottom lip out.

"You can't just give someone a pet name," he informed her. "It has to come naturally. And I don't really know you that well."

The other girls gasped at his unintentional insult of their leader and then broke into laughter. Victoria pretended to be offended and moved over to Edward's lap. She wrapped both arms around his neck and whispered something into his ear. Edward smiled and turned his head to hide the blush moving across his cheeks.

Bella watched the exchange in awe. Were girls always this forward or had everything changed since she was in Jr. High?

"So, what are you girls up to tonight?" Bella asked trying to bring the conversation back to the group.

They all answered at once, saying something different, leaving Bella more confused.

"You're welcome to stay here and watch 'The Hills Have Eyes' if you like." Bella offered.

Edward had moved his hands to lightly touch Victoria's back as she continued sitting on his lap. He seemed to be warming up to the idea of hanging out with them. The girls all squealed and began talking about other scary movies.

"Edward?" Bella called to him and motioned for him to follow her into her room.

"I just want you to know how much I love the birdhouse and I'm going to bed now. Feel free to entertain your fan club for as long as you like." Bella meant for it to sound funny but it came out sounding like she was complaining.

"I can tell them to leave," he interjected.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. Have fun, they are all welcome here." She pulled him into a hug and told him goodnight.

She could easily hear the girls chatting and laughing from the comfort of her bed. Every once in a while she would hear the low murmur of Edward's voice but it wasn't often. Around midnight the sound of a car pulling up in front of the house caught Bella's attention. The group noisily made their way out the front door and into the waiting vehicle.

Bella listened intently for the sound of Edward's scooter but never heard it rev to life. After several minutes she heard the sound of the bedroom door down the hall shut and lock. She smiled knowing he had stayed and was safely going to bed.


	3. Chapter 7 thru 9

7

It was finally Bella's twenty-first birthday and Edward had been pacing the floor in anticipation of giving her the final gift. Jessica had shown up to get her ready for their big night out and just the thought of it made Edward angry.

He didn't understand why Billy didn't forbid her to go out with Jessica since the whole purpose was to drink and pick up men. Billy wasn't actually her father, but Edward felt the title of father figure gave him the right to make demands.

The women were in Bella's bathroom getting ready. Edward couldn't hear what they were saying but he could hear the loud laughter.

"Come on Jessica, I can do my own make-up," Bella complained. "I am going to look in a mirror when you finish, anyway."

"Just be quiet and pretend you're at a spa," Jessica said as she continued painting around Bella's eyes.

"Even a spa lets you look," Bella demanded.

The bathroom door opened and Edward watched as Jessica continued working on Bella as she sat in a chair with her back to the mirror. His eyebrows were pulled together in a frown and his arms crossed tightly in front of his chest.

"Is it that bad?" Bella asked.

Edward shrugged and looked disgusted as he glared at Jessica.

"What?" Bella asked as her eyebrows rose in concern. She could tell Edward wasn't merely refusing to comment on a woman's make-up, he was upset at what he was seeing.

"I thought Halloween was over," he said in irritation.

"Get the hell out of here you demon seed," Jessica screamed at him.

Bella pushed Jessica's hand out of her face and looked at Edward, "What's the matter?"

His expression softened but his eyes remained anxious. He shook his head back and forth and replied meekly, "You look like a hooker."

Jessica physically pushed him from the doorway and slammed the door. "Don't listen to him, Bella. You have to put on heavier makeup if you are going to be in a dark club. You can't judge the look under harsh bathroom lights."

Bella felt the tears fall from her filled eyes. She turned to look at her reflection in the mirror as Jimmy's words echoed in her head, _"You look like trash Bella, you're no better than a street hooker." _

She was instantly transported to the small apartment in Texas. Her ears were ringing as if she had been slapped across the side of the head. She began mumbling incoherently as she grabbed a towel and began washing off the make-up.

"Come on Bella, you look beautiful. Don't do this, please," Jessica begged.

Bella didn't respond and ignored Jessica's pleas as she began digging at her skin with the towel. Red welts were being left on her face and guttural sobs began forming in her chest. She was grunting as she harshly tried to remove make-up no longer on her face.

Jessica yelled loudly for Edward and he threw the door open and ran to Bella's side. He used his strength to wrestle the towel from Bella's hands and tried to get her to look at him.

"Miami," he called, shaking her to get her attention, "Look at me."

Jessica backed into the hallway as her own cries broke through, "What's wrong with her?"

"Get Billy," Edward yelled to her.

He stopped fighting with Bella's hands and moved behind her. Wrapping his arms tightly around her waist he lowered his face into her neck and spoke very slowly, "You're safe; nobody's going to hurt you."

Her legs gave out and she collapsed into Edward. He lowered himself to the floor and held her on his lap until Billy came running in.

"Baby girl, can you hear me?" He said softly as he lifted her into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. Her eyes met his, but he couldn't tell if she recognized him.

"What happened?" Billy asked and looked back at Edward and Jessica.

"I'm sorry," Jessica cried. "I don't know what happened. I was putting make-up on her and then Edward said she looked like a hooker and she freaked."

Edward put his hand over his mouth in realization. He felt sick, like he needed to vomit. He couldn't remain in the room and fled out the house completely. He had hurt her, the one thing he vowed he would never do.

Did he mean to do it? Did he want to upset her so she wouldn't go with Jessica? The fact he couldn't answer his own question made him feel that much worse.

Sue pulled up to find Edward holding onto the open gate breathing heavily. He could hear her talking but he couldn't understand the words she used. He was so distraught over the idea of hurting Bella with his words. Sue pried his fingers from the chain link and led him back to the house. After sitting him in a chair she filled a cup with water and brought it to him.

"Edward," she said authoritatively, "Sip on this."

He looked at the cup and began to cry. Sue hugged him tightly and patted his back until he could speak.

"I'm so stupid. I'm so stupid," he repeated over and over again.

Billy walked into the room and watched the scene in front of him. "I say this whole damned place is full of nuts," he observed.

Sue looked at him in confusion, "What's going on around here?"

"Go check on Bella and let me talk to Bubba here."

Sue pulled away from Edward as he began wiping his eyes with his sleeves. She headed to Bella's room and found Jessica sitting on the bed watching Bella, who was curled into a ball.

"Okay, someone start talking," Sue insisted.

"I was taking Bella to Pioneers for her birthday; I bought her a new outfit and was giving her a makeover when Edward said she looked like a hooker," Jessica explained, "All of the sudden she just freaked."

Sue let out a long breath then sat next to Bella on the bed. "Girl," she began, "You are going to hear the ghost of that jackass for a long time."

Bella lifted her red swollen face to look at Sue. "Yep, you heard me right. That son-of-a-bitch will be in your head until you kick his sorry ass out of there."

Only then did Jessica understand what was going on, "Oh," she exclaimed softly.

"Don't you go blaming that child either," Sue continued, "He's in bad enough shape right now blaming himself."

It was the last thing Bella wanted. Edward didn't mean to send her into a flashback, he was only commenting on the obscene amount of make-up Jessica was putting on her. Bella was sure Edward was scared and confused and blaming himself for messing her up birthday.

She finally sat up and Sue chuckled, "Damn it Jessica, nobody needs that much paint. Who was she supposed to impress, a clown?"

The three women broke into a fit of laughter which was interrupted by Billy and Edward walking through the doorway. Edward's eyes were red and Billy had his hand on his shoulder in support.

"I'm sorry, Miami," Edward said as he raised his arm to wipe his eyes on his sleeve again.

"Don't be, please, you didn't do anything wrong. I am not upset with you, I am upset with Jimmy."

Edward nodded but his face remained tortured and did not look convinced so Sue took his hand and led him back into the kitchen. "Sit down, sweetheart," she said as she pulled Bella's birthday cake from the fridge.

Edward sat and put his head in his hands.

"I was married to an abusive man once." She began. "The thing that makes them so dangerous is the emotional scars they leave. It can be something so ordinary or so common and you suddenly act like an escaped mental patient.

She began digging around in a drawer for some candles. "I was grocery shopping once and picked up a can of corn that had a dent in the side. I suddenly imagined my ex-husband beating my head with the can. It had happened so often my mind took me there automatically."

She tossed the box of candles to Edward and motioned for him to start putting them on the cake. "It wasn't the stores fault, it wasn't the kid who put the dented can on the shelf's fault; it was the sick sucker who tormented me who was at fault. I know you can't understand this Edward, but it is a good thing that Bella is reacting to things that bring up painful memories. She can't deal with them unless she faces them. She'll be fine, in time."

"Jimmy called her a hooker?" Edward asked softly.

"I'm sure he's called her a lot worse. Weak men make a sport of holding women down. Jimmy knew Bella was too good for him, so if he could make her feel lower than a dog, it made him feel better."

"I hate him," Edward mumbled and Sue smiled at him.

"So," she asked, "Are you going to be okay?"

He nodded more convincingly this time and finished with the candles.

Jessica came into the room holding Bella's hand. Billy followed behind obviously uncomfortable with all the female production going on around him. Edward watched her carefully as Jessica led her to the table to see the cake.

"Thank you," Bella said earnestly, "And not just for the cake. I don't know what I would do without all of you."

'Well," Billy offered, "I assume you would cry a whole lot less."

Sue waved her hands at him in mock anger and smiled at Bella, "Let's get this party going. Cut your cake and then go see Billy and Edward's surprise."

Edward smiled his first genuine smile of the afternoon. Bella looked at him suspiciously as he lit the candles. "Wow, twenty-one, you're old," he teased.

Bella gasped and looked at Jessica, "He wants me to cry again, doesn't he?"

Edward jumped up and put his hands on either side of her face, "No, I never want you to cry again." His eyes held that strange deep look that always caused her to have goose bumps.

She pulled out of his light grasp and feigned interest in the cake. "Help me blow these things out," she ordered him.

After everyone ate some cake Billy stood and motioned for them all to follow. They walked in a line down the trail as the sun fell low in the sky. After walking almost a mile he stopped and waited for Bella to notice something new. The trail formed a lookout, which was shaded by large oak trees. Sitting in fresh dirt was a beautiful hand carved bench. Along the back of the bench were the words, "My Bella."

Bella began jumping up and down screaming with delight. "It's wonderful and how did you know this is my favorite spot on the entire trail?"

Edward tried to speak by she threw her arms around his neck cutting of his ability to talk. "Thank you so much. I love it."

She turned and repeated the same action with Billy as he patted her back telling her Happy Birthday. "It was Edward's idea," he confessed.

Of course it was, he knew exactly how to make Bella feel special on her birthday and it didn't have to be a new outfit or extreme make-up. Edward knew things coming from the heart were the real gifts. Bell felt greedy for accepting the things he made; she felt the real gift was Edward himself.

She sat on the bench and looked over the lighted town. Edward sat hesitantly next to her, seemingly afraid to do anything that could possibly upset her again. She reached over and took his hand in hers and pointed to his house. "I can check up on you at any time now," she teased.

"I spend more time here than at home. I feel like this is my home," he confessed.

"Good, I want it to feel that way for you. I like knowing you are just down the hall."

"Even with my freaky eyes?" he asked and Bella noticed his smile was forced.

"Even with your beautiful eyes," she corrected.

All the earlier drama was forgotten and Sue had to force them all back to the house to open her present to Bella.

A large manila envelope held a certificate for private lessons with a personal trainer, learning self-defense. Sue assured Bella she had taken the course and it made a world of difference. "Once you feel you can take care of yourself, you really begin to heal."

Jessica begged Bella to keep the new outfit and wear it out to dinner. She promised not to push her into going to clubs or out with men until Bella personally requested it. The day ended on a good note and Bella felt blessed to have great friends in her life.

8

Winter was another tough one. Record amounts of snow fell, but Swan Ranch remained busy working in the arena with various cowboys and stock. Edward continued to come after school and help Billy. Thanksgiving was celebrated at the Swan house with Sue and Elizabeth cooking most of the meal. Christmas was quiet. Edward spent the break with his sisters in Seattle.

It was now spring again. Edward turned fifteen and had his first date, a shy girl named Lacey. He was going to his first dance and wasn't happy about the fact Bella had to drive them. He tried to get his mother to let him take his scooter but she refused since it would put Lacey at risk.

"You look really hot, Edward," Bella teased.

"This is so embarrassing; I don't even want to go now."

"It won't be so bad. I will drop you at the dance and you can just call when you're ready to be picked up."

"I don't go with you on dates," he complained.

"I've only been on one date, and believe me I would much rather have you there than Jessica."

He smiled at the thought of having Jessica along for the ride. "Okay, I see your point. Just don't try to act all inconspicuous, it will only make it worse."

Bella watched him nervously make his way to the front door and knock. A man answered the door and invited him inside. She wished she could go inside with him and make sure everything went well. It only dawned on her now how difficult it was for young men to ask a girl out. She wanted to run inside the house and protect Edward from the interrogation he was receiving from the anxious father.

They finally made their way out of the house, each walking with their head down and keeping a good thirty inches of space between themselves. Edward opened the door for Lacey like a gentleman and walked around to the other side of the large truck. Bella winked at him when he met her gaze, but he only rolled his eyes in response.

Conversation was sparse to say the least. Bella did her best to engage the shy girl but her interference only made things worse. When she dropped them off at the school she felt relief, no longer having to witness the awkward silence between the two.

Edward called three hours later to let Bella know they were ready to leave the dance. Since she had him alone on the phone she decided to pry a little. "How did it go? Did you guys warm up to each other?"

"I don't know, I guess." He offered.

"Do you want me to take you guys somewhere or should I take her right home."

"Yeah, I think the second option is the best" he tried to let her know he didn't want to stretch the torture out any longer.

"I gotcha," she laughed.

They walked toward the vehicle exactly like they did earlier, heads down, safe distance apart. Bella couldn't stand the suffering any longer. She had to intervene and show these kids how dates were supposed to go.

"Edward," she began as he climbed into the vehicle, "I have some stuff for root beer floats and some games we can play if you don't mind coming to my place for just about an hour."

Edward looked at Lacey and shrugged. She nodded without speaking so Bella headed home. They followed Bella to the kitchen and sat on the barstools at the counter. After making root beer floats Edward pulled the game Apples to Apples out of the pile Bella heaped onto the counter. The first few rounds were quiet but Lacey finally loosened up and began to tease Edward.

They played for an hour and a half before Lacey had to head home. Edward held her hand as they walked to the car and seemed much more relaxed when he escorted her to the door. Bella watched as the two kids hugged quickly but turned her head when Edward headed back towards her.

He opened the door and climbed into the front seat. "Thanks, Bella," he mumbled, "For everything."

"Sure," she smiled, "I hope you had fun."

He nodded but remained quiet. "I have to say Edward; I have a whole new appreciation for what young men go through."

He looked at her confused.

"I never experienced dating from the male's perspective and I just figured you guys had it all figured out." She laughed at his appalled expression. "I just thought the girl only had to worry about what she wore, you know, look pretty to impress the guy and that was it?

"I would much rather a girl talks, and eats, and has an opinion, than just look pretty," he complained.

"I wish I could go back in time and redo the whole dating thing," Bella mused. "Maybe it would have saved me a bunch of heartache."

Edward sighed loudly. "I wish you were my age and we could figure this out together."

Bella's head snapped over to look at Edward. He looked like he was going to apologize but suddenly lifted his chin in resolve and stared back at her.

"You would want to go out with me? she asked surprised.

"Why not, you're easy to talk to and we get along really well," he shrugged again and looked out the window.

Bella couldn't help the laughter that shook her entire frame. She tried to imagine what it would be like to have Edward show up at her door and try to interact with her father. He never gave the boys a break and tried to make the experience so uncomfortable they would never return. She wondered what Charlie would have thought of Edward's eyes.

Edward gave her a disappointed glare, "You wouldn't go out with me?"

"Of course I would, I just can't picture it. I'm sure Jessica would have been all over you if you were in our class at school."

"Oh, gross. Why did you have to say that?" he pretended to vomit.

"Most of the boys our age loved Jessica, she gave them….experience." Bella tried to be diplomatic in regard to her friend.

"Experience or diseases," he said in a disgusted manor.

"Edward, that was really mean."

"Well, don't put that imagine in my head. I would go out with you, never Jessica." He paused as if he wasn't sure he should continue with what he was thinking. "And, I would have made sure you never ended up with Jimmy."

The mood suddenly changed and Bella felt her hands grip the steering wheel tightly. She felt embarrassed that Edward could see her horrible decisions. Her jaw tightened as she spoke, "Jimmy was really good at hiding what he was, and I didn't know what I was getting."

"That's not what I meant," Edward whispered. "Just forget it, let's talk about something else."

Bella was happy to change the subject and remove all thoughts of Jimmy from her head.

"Are you and Lacey a thing?" she asked putting the conversation back on Edward.

"No, she's just a nice girl."

"Not your girlfriend?"

"No, not my girlfriend."

"So," she prodded, "Is there a girl you wish was your girlfriend?"

He looked at her and smiled devilishly, "Is there a guy you wish was your boyfriend?"

"I asked you first," she demanded.

"If I answer you, will you answer me?" He teased.

"Sure."

"Okay, let's answer at the same time. Ready, Go!"

"NO," they both yelled in unison and then broke into laughter.

Bella pulled into the garage while they both continued laughing. She turned off the car and turned to look at Edward. "So, next week is Jr. High graduation. Are you excited for high school?"

He frowned. "I guess. Football will be fun, but three years seems so long."

"Enjoy it, Edward. Life gets hard after high school; and three years goes by in a flash, believe me."

He looked at her and nodded but continued to stare into her eyes. Something filled the air and Bella wasn't sure what it was. It felt like anticipation, or frustration. She felt the hairs on her arms stand up and the odd feeling regarding his eyes returned. Instinctively she leaned away from him, but continued to hold his stare.

He didn't turn away and didn't seem uncomfortable at all. His head lowered slightly and looked at her through his lashes. In the soft light of the garage he looked so much older, he looked like a man trying to show his woman how he felt about her. Bella shook her head to clear her thoughts. She was sure their earlier discussion put that idea into her head.

"It's late, you better hit the sack," she said as she climbed from the seat.

He followed her into the house and turned the opposite direction when they entered the hallway. "Good night," he called over his shoulder.

Bella tossed and turned trying to fall asleep until she finally gave up and took some medication. It wasn't something she did often but years of trying to sleep in fear made her happy for a prescription to help her relax.

_Bella was crawling down the hallway trying to make it to Edward's room. Jimmy was throwing furniture and breaking glass. She had to get to Edward and sneak him out of the house. If Jimmy found him she knew he would hurt him. _

_The door was not locked but it was too heavy for her to push. She put her entire body into it trying to get the door to budge. It would open slightly only to slam shut again._

"_Edward," she whispered loudly. Panic was building and she began calling louder for him._

_Jimmy grabbed her by the hair and kicked the door. She watched in horror as it flew open. "No Jimmy, don't hurt him. Don't touch him!" she screamed. _

_Edward ran to her and was grabbed around the neck by Jimmy's hand and repeatedly had his head beat against the wall. Bella screamed in horror as blood sprayed onto her body, Edward's blood._

"Miami, wake up," a voiced called to her. "Wake up, you're dreaming."

Bella's eyes opened in shock to see Edward holding onto her arms. "Run Edward," she gasped as she searched the darkness for Jimmy's laughing face.

He pulled her into a tight hug as she fought to free herself. "Shhh," he offered softly, "I'm here. He can't hurt you."

Her breathing was coming in sharp puffs and her heart was beating wildly. She couldn't see Jimmy anywhere but she could see Edward, she could smell his scent, feel his warm body against hers.

Slowly she began to relax as he held her tightly, patting her back. He rocked back and forth gently causing the dream to fade and her heavy eyes to close again. The next thing she knew the morning sun was breaking through the curtains shining in her eyes.

She stretched and slid her legs off the side of the bed. Luckily, she didn't stand or she would have tripped over Edward's body; curled into a ball as he continued to sleep.

Memories flooded her mind as she realized Edward had stayed. He never left her room after she fell back to sleep. He lay on the floor without a pillow or blanket in order to stand watch and protect her from nightmares.

Her heart lurched into her throat as she looked at his uncomfortable position. He had grown so much over the past year and looked more like a teenager than a boy. Someday a lucky girl, like Lacey, would know how remarkable he was and vow to love him forever.

As quietly as possible she pulled a blanket from the foot of her bed to cover him. After making her way out of the room she went right to the kitchen to prepare a rewarding breakfast for her protector.

Edward was still rubbing his eyes when he entered the kitchen. "Do I smell bacon?"

Bella stopped in her tracks to look at his face. She waited for him to turn in her direction and open his eyes fully. "Yes, you smell bacon. I made waffles and egg, too."

"Wow," he exclaimed, "What's the occasion?"

"Let's just say you earned it."

He looked wearily at her, "What exactly did I do to earn it?"

Bella felt tears filling her eyes so she grabbed a Kleenex from the box on the counter. "You are my personal knight in shining armor and I want you to know how much I appreciate you."

Edward smiled slightly and dismissed her comment. "I don't think waking you from a nightmare makes me a knight."

"Don't do that," she insisted as she pointed at him, "You didn't have to stay and sleep on the cold floor, so let me spoil you a little."

He swallowed as he looked at her grateful expression. Sleeping on the floor was nothing, he would do anything to protect her and make her feel safe. It made him feel manly to hold her in his arms and feel her body relax, knowing he was there.

She smiled at him and finally looked away from his penetrating eyes. He knew it was making her uncomfortable that he could see her fear.

"Okay," he smiled widely, "Onward with the spoiling, fair lady."

9

Graduation night came and Bella had arranged a surprise with Elizabeth. Everyone pitched in and donated to a fund to take Edward to Disneyland for four days. Bella planned on paying for the whole trip and put the rest of the money in a CD for Edward to help pay for college. She was excited to finally meet his sisters and their husbands.

The group made their way to the ranch for a graduation party. The patio was decorated in school colors and the grill was turning out hot dogs and hamburgers in large quantities. Several of Edward's friends came by and Bella couldn't help but notice how much better he fit in with the other kids.

She also noticed how aloof his sisters were with him. He was treated more as one of the nieces or nephews than as a sibling. The whole evening was worth it when Elizabeth pulled Bella aside and thanked her, with tears in her eyes, for taking time to help Edward find his place. She assured Bella he had never been happier and felt their friendship was the cause.

Alice and Rosalie were complete opposites. Alice was constantly taking pictures and commenting on the decorations, while Rosalie remained quiet and never joined into the conversation. Emmett was very loud and easily took over the discussion by asking Billy about the stock. Jasper looked like he was always deep in thought and Bella kept waiting for him to make some observation or something to add to the dialogue.

Both brother-in-laws seemed to have no relationship with Edward. They never commented on him personally and Bella felt like Edward really was her family.

The following morning Bella and Edward drove from Forks to Seattle to catch a plane to Orange County. Edward was as excited as a six year old. He had never been on a plane and never dreamed of actually going to Disneyland.

Bella had gone several times with her parents and worried about becoming emotional. The last thing she wanted was to cry at the happiest place on earth. But going with Edward made everything different. She loved having someone to ride the scary rides with her, and to chat with while waiting in long lines.

On their final night in the hotel Bella came from the bathroom after showering, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt, to find Edward sitting on his bed writing furiously. "What are you doing?"

"I'm writing you a letter," he answered without pausing.

"A letter, why, I'm right here?"

He looked up slightly irritated. "I don't want you to read it right now, it is for later, but I want to write it now, while I'm feeling it."

Bella laughed at his reasoning but left him alone to write. Every once in a while she would catch him smiling to himself as he wrote. The curiosity was killing her and she was using all her control to keep from pulling it from his hands to read it now.

That night she had another nightmare. She woke up dripping in sweat and found Edward sound asleep, surely exhausted. Bella didn't want to wake him, but she was shaking and kept imagining shadows coming for her in the dark room.

She finally climbed out of her bed and into Edward's. He raised his head to look at her and asked, "Scary dream?"

"Yes," she whispered.

He waited for her to settle and then moved closer and let his arm hang over her body protectively. Bella fell right to sleep without any worry of danger.

Edward slept for most of the drive home from Seattle, making Bella realize he must have had trouble going back to sleep after she woke him. He finally sat up for the last half hour of the trip. He stretched and sat quietly as he thought.

"Miami, why don't you come with me and Billy to deliver stock?" he asked as he turned his body to face hers.

"I was hardly ever allowed to go when my dad was alive. He didn't want me around the Rodeo atmosphere."

"Why?"

"Too many cowboys, I guess. Didn't stop me from finding the biggest loser of them all, though," she said as she shook her head in disgust.

"You should come with us. It's hard work, but you wouldn't have to help with that part." He looked at her anxiously and she wondered if it was because he worried about her nightmares while they were gone, or if he missed her company.

"I don't mind the work," she defended, "I do worry about running into Jimmy or some of his friends."

"Billy would be there," he reminded her. He wanted to include himself in the equation because he wasn't sure if she thought of him as a protector. Waking someone from a nightmare was not the same as protecting them from an abusive drunk. He had fantasies of hurting Jimmy for all the things he had done, but he was sure Bella would not like that.

"I never really thought about it," Bella confessed. "I handle the financial end of the business, Billy doesn't like that part."

Edward dropped the subject and moved onto plans he had for the summer. He was going to work full time for the ranch and work out with some buddies to get ready for high school football.

When Bella pulled into his driveway he smiled at her, "I put the letter in your suitcase. The trip was great, thanks." He jumped from the vehicle and pulled his own suitcase out of the back.

Bella was exhausted when she finally made her way home. She noticed the pile of mail on the counter, but went straight to her room for a shower. She climbed into her big comfortable bed before noticing her still packed suitcase. She planned on emptying it tomorrow but remembered Edward's letter.

She quickly found the Disney Hotel envelope and tore it open. The letter was neatly written in Edward's handwriting:

Dear Miami,

I have never had so much fun in my life, but it wasn't just being at Disneyland that was fun. It was being here with you. You are a freak on rides, girl! I want to tell you what the best parts were for me.

1. Watching you calmly read your book when the plane took off kept me calm. I was really scared and didn't want you to know. Thank you for not making a big deal out of it.

2. Letting me stay in the same room with you; I would have worried about you having nightmares and it made me feel good when I could look over to your bed and see you sleeping soundly. (It wasn't as creepy as it sounds).

3. Riding all the rollercoaster's with you. You have no fear at all and it amazed me how you would keep your eyes open and your hands in the air.

4. The Mickey Mouse hat! You got so excited over the hat with the stupid ears and wore it everywhere.

5. At the hotel pool when they asked who was on a honeymoon and you got us free t-shirts. I am sure nobody believed we were a couple. You were lucky you weren't arrested.

6. Watching you put tons of whipped cream on your Mickey shaped pancake like a two year old.

7. Your stamina…..do you ever run out of steam?

8. Finally, your face when I told you about writing this letter. I could tell you were trying so hard not to rip it from my hand. Thank you, for letting me finish it.

You are the best friend I could ever have and I thank God for making our paths cross. I hope things remain this way until we are old and grey…..you first.

Love,

Edward

Bella couldn't wipe the huge smile from her face and put the letter in the drawer next to her bed. She couldn't help but think her parents must have had something to do with putting Edward in her path. She couldn't imagine how lonely the days would have been without him.

She lay down and began going through his comments one by one. She knew he was nervous on the flight, because his hands were gripping the arm rests so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. It was something he just had to experience and telling him not to be nervous would not help. He had noticed she read calmly in an effort to keep him from getting more agitated. She couldn't keep anything from those spooky eyes.

She had considered getting Edward his own room. Besides being a waste of money, she knew they would be spending most of their time at the park, coming back to the room only to fall into bed exhausted. She hadn't considered her nightmares into the decision but felt comforted that Edward had.

Bella had always loved fast, scary rides. She felt her thrill seeking nature helped lead her to Jimmy. If that side of her personality brought joy to Edward she would rethink the whole idea of trying to be more subtle.

The hat, Edward hated the Mickey Mouse ears hat. He refused to wear his and gave it to a little girl who had dropped her ice-cream and was crying inconsolably. Bella wore it just to irritate him and he enjoyed pulling it from her head any chance he got.

The honeymoon stunt was priceless. Edward was lying on his stomach getting some sun on his back when the hotel staff announced some games by the pool. They were giving out prizes; t-shirts, hats, towels, stuff like that. When they asked if anyone was staying at the hotel for their honeymoon nobody responded so Bella raised both hands high in the air and yelled, "We are."

Edward lifted his head in shock and hurried to place a baseball cap low on his head to hide part of his young face. When Bella was tossed the shirts the crowd began to yell, "Kiss, Kiss." Edward looked terrified when she wrapped her arm around his neck, placing her hand firmly over his mouth, and pulled the towel over their faces as she pretended to kiss him passionately. In reality she was only kissing her own hand. Edward relaxed and went along with it pulling her on top of him. With the cover of the towel they appeared to be a young married couple in love.

They were equally disappointed when they found the t-shirts were both extra large. Bella's fit her like a dress and although Edward's was only slightly too big, he liked tight form fitting shirts.

The pancake incident happened after a long day at the amusement park. They were taking a short break and Bella was starving. When she ordered the house specialty breakfast she got a pancake shaped like Mickey Mouse. She told Edward the thought of eating something mouse shaped didn't appeal to her so she covered it in whipped cream; only to take a bite and then proceed to open her mouth wide to show him the contents. He was eating a hamburger so his effort at reciprocating was much worse. They ate like a couple of ill mannered children.

The stamina comment made her laugh. She knew they had a limited amount of time and wanted to make sure Edward experienced as much as he could. She was exhausted and happy to be home, where she could sleep for days if she wanted to.

Bella knew their friendship would eventually end. He would fall in love someday and want to spend every extra second with a girlfriend. If he didn't find her in high school he would most certainly find her in college, far from Forks.

Medical school would take every spare moment and he would end up living close to his wife's family; his didn't seem to have a very deep hold on him. He would become a father and grandfather and spend his grey years surrounded by family. A sad morose feeling was coming over her so she turned over in her bed and welcomed a dreamless sleep.


	4. Chapter 10 thru 12

10

The summer was passing quickly again. Edward had started high school football practice and Jessica was still on a mission to help Bella meet someone. Her ugly boyfriend told her about a man named Jake he was sure Bella would like.

"Jessica, why did you give him my number? I haven't even met him yet." Bella protested as they pulled into the local grocery store parking lot.

"It will be easier to talk with him over the phone at your own convenience. I promise he is a really nice man. You will like him."

"I'm not double dating," Bella conceded as she grabbed a cart.

"Fine, just go to dinner with him. That is innocent enough."

They headed toward the vegetable area when Bella noticed two teenage girls laughing and clinging to each other. Their attention was drawn to the back of a boy who was walking away from them. Bella recognized that back immediately.

"Look Jessica, Edward has a fan club." She nodded toward the girls.

"I guess in Forks you take what you can get." Jessica said sourly.

"Stop it," Bella insisted, "Edward is a very good looking boy. They didn't make em like him when we were in school."

"No, they were dumb and kept their mouths shut like high school boys are supposed to. Edward is to damn smart for his own good."

Bella stopped walking and turned to look at Jessica. "Are you telling me you can stand there and honestly say Edward isn't cute? You've seen him in a swim suit; he is built like an Adonis."

"Let it go Bel, he isn't really your brother…don't get so offended."

"I'm not offended. I just want you to give him a little credit. He's smart, and sensitive, and protective, and most importantly he is loyal. Then on top of all that he is cute. Why do you dog him so much?"

"He irritates me. I felt more comfortable around your dad and you know what he thought of me."

Bella reached out her hand to stop her friend from walking away. "Jessica, my father liked you."

"Sure he did, he just didn't like me dragging you along." Jessica crossed her arms and looked squarely at Bella, "Don't rewrite history. Your father flipped his lid every time he knew you were out with me." 

"My father flipped his lid no matter who I was with. He would have loved to chain me to my room if he could have. But honestly, he liked you Jessica."

"Fine, he liked me. Edward doesn't and don't even try to talk your way around that."

"Maybe if you tried a little harder to be friendly to him…."

"Are you kidding me? He doesn't let anyone come between you two. It is like he staked a claim on Swan Ranch and nobody else has a reason to be there."

"That's not true. If anything I am the one that keeps him around so much. I hate being there alone, you know that Jessica."

"When are you ever alone? Billy's there, Sue's there most evenings, and there is a constant flow of cowboys coming and going."

Bella dropped her eyes to the ground. Jessica brought into light something Bella didn't want to admit. She kept Edward around because he was safe. She never felt threatened by him. Surely there was more to it than that; what teenage boy would hang around with an emotionally scarred woman for the fun of it? Bella promised herself she would accept a date from the man Jessica had given her number to.

Later that evening the man called. His name was Jake and he worked for the Department of Interior on public works projects. Bella found him easy to talk with and agreed to meet him for dinner Saturday night. She wasn't ready for someone to pick her up at the house.

She was changing her outfit for the third time when Edward came into the house. "Miami," he called out.

"Just a minute, I'm changing."

"Good," he screamed down the hallway, "Your personality sucks."

She decided it was as good as it was going to get so she made her way into the family room. Edward was lounging across the couch when he looked up and saw her wearing a yellow sundress. "Wow," he whistled, "You should change more often."

"Shut up," she countered nervously. "Do you think this looks okay? I don't want to look like I'm trying too hard."

Edward laughed loudly, "I don't even know what that means."

"You're useless." She said as she looked in the mirror again.

"Seriously, Bella," he walked closer to her, "Guys just want a girl to be relaxed and have fun. We don't care about the outfit. Just let loose."

She smiled at him in the mirror and took a deep breath.

"Of course," he added, "Don't loosen up too much." 

She turned to smack his arm and he jumped out of the way just in time. "Call me if you need anything, Okay?" he spoke sincerely.

She picked up her purse and keys and crossed her fingers, "Here goes nothing."

"I'm waiting up," he teased.

"Wow, staying awake until nine, what a sacrifice."

He noticed the nervous look in her eyes no matter how hard she tried to hide it. He wished there was something he could do to help her relax; she was always there for him and he suddenly actually felt useless.

The county club lounge was darker than she expected and she felt self-conscious in her little sundress. Jake recognized her from pictures Jessica had shared and made his way beside her. "Hi. Are you Bella?"

Bella jumped a little and turned to face him. He was tall, at least six foot three. "Yes, you must be Jake." She held out her hand and he shook it loosely.

"I have a table over here," he placed his hand on the small of her back and led her toward the lighted veranda. She was pleased when he pulled her chair back for her to sit; at least he was a gentleman and she could relax a little.

A waiter made his way over and handed them menu's, only then did Bella notice the deformity of his left hand. It wasn't scarred or anything, just shriveled, obviously a birth defect. For some strange reason it made Bella feel better. Maybe the fact he wouldn't be able to beat her with two fists worked its way into her brain.

They were able to chat easily and he was indeed a nice man. She looked into his Dark brown eyes and never felt uncomfortable. Somewhere deep inside she was hoping her reaction to Edward's eyes was not simply in response to looking at a male. Now she knew for sure it was not the case. The reaction was only to Edward and his crystal green eyes.

Maybe it was the fact they looked translucent from far away, like he only had black pupils and nothing else. Maybe it was the way the color pulled you in. It was so unusual and you couldn't help but stare….

"Is something wrong?" Jake asked for a second time.

"I'm sorry; I guess my mind was wandering." She smiled at him in apology.

After they finished their meal Jake asked if he could take her dancing. Bella made an excuse and asked for a rain check. He didn't seem offended and promised to call her soon.

She was relieved he didn't try to kiss her. He opened her car door and held her hand lightly as she climbed into the driver seat. She thanked him again for the dinner and the company and he shut the door.

As soon as she walked into the house Edward was in front of her anxiously looking at her face.

"Everything good?" he finally asked.

"Sure, it was just a dinner, no big deal."

"Are you going out with him again?"

"I don't know, maybe? 

"I don't know how these things go, Miami, did you feel sparks? If he doesn't call are you going to jump from a bridge?"

She couldn't help but laugh. It was obvious he was spending too much time around women. "No sparks. He was nice and I enjoyed talking with him, but the world will continue to spin if he never calls."

"He would be an idiot if he never calls. So, I would guess the ball is in your court," Edward pointed out.

Bella walked over to the counter and pulled herself up to sit on the edge. "I don't see a future with this guy, but I think it would be good for me to go out with him a couple of time…you know, keep my social skills fresh."

"There's nothing wrong with your social skills." Edward moved to stand in front of her. His arms crossed in front of him and he lowered his head to meet Bella's gaze.

She had some smart comment to make but his eyes sent chills through her again. She turned her head and mumbled something about being so tired.

"Go change and come watch 'From Here to Eternity' with me." He stepped back so she had room to hop down from the counter.

"Isn't there some car crash, explosion, body count, movie you would rather watch?"

"I'm sorry if my good taste bothers you," he laughed as he took a small hop and then jumped over the entire couch.

"I just wonder what the team would think if they knew you watch old black and white movies.'

"Let's not tell them. If anyone asks I watched, 'Debbie does Dallas,' tonight." He grabbed the remote and restarted the frozen picture.

"Wait," Bella yelled as she ran to her room to change.

She returned wearing cut off sweats and a tank top and crawled under the cover next to Edward.

"Can I tell you something first," she asked as he leaned for the remote again.

"Sure," he paused with his hand still reaching out.

"Jake is handicapped."

Edward spun around to look at her, "Like in a wheelchair?"

"No," she laughed.

"Like he rides the short bus?"

"No, he has a deformed hand."

Edward stared at her in disbelief. It was a difficult concept for a young man starting high school to grasp; looks and image ruled in his world. He couldn't wrap his mind around someone like Bella sitting at dinner with a man who wasn't perfect.

"It doesn't bother me," she added. "It isn't even that noticeable."

"Like this?" he said pulling his hand into a feeble fist.

"Stop it, Edward."

"Let me get the hair out of your eyes," he pulled his mock fist to her face dragging it along her cheek.

"Stop, it's not funny."

"At least let me hold your hand," he clawed at her palm.

"Edward, it's not funny. He is a very nice man." She couldn't help the laugh escaping from her.

He reached for the remote pretending he couldn't pick it up. Bella took advantage of his posture and brought her foot up to push him entirely off the couch.

"Ah," he screamed, "look what you did." He pulled his knees to his chest acting like his legs were withered and deformed.

Bella grabbed a pillow from the couch and began hitting him as he pretended to yell for help. "Abuse, save me, I won't be able to jump hurdles in the Special Olympics."

The tables turned quickly when Bella fell back onto the couch and covering her face in her arms she began to sob loudly. "I meet a nice guy and you make fun of him," she managed to say between sobs.

"I'm sorry Miami, I was only teasing. Please don't cry. I'm happy for you, I really am."

He softly placed his hand on her back.

"Psych," she yelled and fell over laughing.

The stunned look on Edward's face was invaluable. It almost made her feel guilty. She had to remind herself of his earlier inappropriate remarks.

"You're wicked." He said angrily as he grabbed the remote and moved to the far end of the couch.

"You deserved it, Edward Masen, so don't play that cry baby routine with me."

"Just wait until you have a baby with claws and we'll see who's crying then."

Bella made an audible gasp and put her hand to her mouth.

"I'm just kidding, unless the guy has something genetic." He noticed her eyes becoming wet. "Come on, Miami, you're not thinking marriage."

He grew concerned when he noticed her body beginning to shake. He scooted next to her on the couch and reached up to remove her hand, which was still covering her mouth.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I forgot you didn't know."

"Know what?" he said softly.

"I can't have children." She closed her eyes so she wouldn't have to see Edward's expression. "Jimmy made sure of that."

When he didn't respond she took a deep breath and opened her eyes. His face was full of rage. His eyes burned in anger and his lips were pulled tightly into a line. She placed her hand on top of his tightly wound fist and squeezed it softly.

"Why?" he finally asked.

She wasn't sure if he meant why she couldn't have children or why Jimmy made sure she couldn't. She paused to consider the question when he added, "Is that the scar?'

Her head dropped to her stomach and she nodded. "I wish I could tell you what happened, but I don't know myself. I woke up in the hospital covered in stitches and horrible bruises. Jimmy told the doctors he found me unconscious in our apartment which had been robbed and ransacked."

She lifted her head to look at him as she continued. "The doctors told me I had been kicked repeatedly and had extensive internal damage. A broken beer bottle was used to open up my abdomen. The police took a statement but I had no memory of what happened. Jimmy would laugh about how he almost killed me and there was nothing I could do about it. For a short time I was so happy that I would never have his children. I didn't think I could love anything that came from him."

Edward licked his lips and asked the one question he was dying to ask, "Why did you stay with him?"

She shook her head back and forth. "Shame, embarrassment, failure, every stupid emotion you can think of. My parents had a fit when I married Jimmy. I was too proud to let them know how right they were."

"Did he let you go or did you run?"

"At first I ran. I left him a note telling him I had to go home because my parents had an accident. Then after a week I called and told him they didn't leave me anything in their will, that they had disinherited me." She laughed without humor. "He told me not to come back. I'm sure you think I shouldn't want Jake, but now don't you see how Jake will never want me?"

"No, I don't. I don't see that at all. And if you are going out with this guy because you don't feel like you deserve anyone better I'm really going to be pissed."

"No," she shook her head, "he really is a very nice person."

"But no sparks," he reiterated.

"No, no sparks."

Edward sat back in the sofa and Bella moved over to curl up against his shoulder. "Thank you for letting me share this with you. It really did make me feel better."

He turned his head slightly and kissed her on the top of her head. "You'll always be My Bella," he whispered, then pressed play on the remote.

11

Jake called often and didn't seem bothered that Bella would only agree to dinner and never allowed him to pick her up. She enjoyed his company but was not romantically attracted to him. She liked him as a friend, but nothing more. It made her re-evaluate her feelings for Edward. He was a friend too, but so much more than Jake would ever be.

One afternoon upon returning from a counseling session she heard a noise on the front porch. She peered out the window just in time to see Victoria pull Edward into a passionate kiss on the porch swing. He seemed hesitant at first, but once the shock was over his hormones kicked in causing him to take control. His hands wound into her long hair pulling Victoria as close as humanly possible. Bella turned away embarrassed for catching Edward in a compromising position.

When he finally came into the house, alone, she couldn't help the knowing smile she gave him. "Have fun?"

He acted casual and just nodded. Bella wondered if it was his first kiss, obviously it was not Victoria's.

"Excited for school to start Tuesday?"

"I guess so," he continued his relaxed manor.

"Nervous about being a lowly freshman?"

"No, Forks is so small everybody knows everybody. Not much hazing goes on."

"Is Victoria a good kisser?"

His head whipped around in shock, "What?"

Bella just laughed and shook her finger at him.

"Were you watching us?" he asked incredulously.

"Hey, if you make out in public people will see. Let that be a lesson for you."

"We weren't making out. And I don't spy on you and Jake." He was angry now, but not because he was caught kissing Victoria, he didn't want Bella seeing him kissing a girl he didn't really care for.

"I wasn't spying on you, Edward. Didn't you see my car pull in?"

"No, we must have walked out there when you were in the garage."

Bella felt relief that the kissing had not been going on all afternoon. She could tell by Edward's reaction on the swing they had not been making out inside the house either.

"Is Victoria your girlfriend?"

"No, I'm not that stupid," he snorted.

"I kind of like Lacey, any progress there?"

"Not after Victoria opens her big mouth, I'm sure."

"Wait, you like Lacey but you kissed Victoria…..explain."

"I'm only fifteen; I don't even want a girlfriend." He looked distressed.

"Hey," Bella called for him to look at her, "Come sit down and let's talk."

He walked over to the counter and sat on the stool. His elbows rested on the granite and his face fell into his hands.

"I only want to help, okay? Was this your first kiss?"

He cringed and finally shook his head in affirmation.

"Wow," she laughed.

"Forget it," he said as he stood up angrily, his face turning red.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I said wow because it was a really big kiss for your first ever. I mean, you really seemed to know what you were doing."

He looked at her hesitantly and slowly sat back down. He looked so dejected and nothing like a young man who had just been kissed by a gorgeous girl.

"I can tell you are not happy about kissing Victoria, can you tell me why?"

"I guess I feel guilty. I don't like her in that way and I shouldn't have kissed her like that."

"Will she assume more from the kiss?"

He just shrugged, "She probably won't even remember everyone she kissed this weekend."

"Oh, I see, Victoria is the Jessica of your grade."

"Thanks," he said in disgust. "Way to make me feel worse."

Bella raised her palms in frustration. "Fine, you just tell me what you want to tell me and I will keep my mouth shut. You're acting worse than a girl with PMS."

"I don't want to tell you anything! You initiated this conversation, remember?"

"Now I'm going to end it. And by the way…I've never kissed Jake." She turned and stomped toward her bedroom. Before she got there she heard the back door slam shut. It was a familiar sound. She had done that so many times when she didn't want to talk to her mother or father.

"Great, I'm not even twenty-two yet and I have to deal with a teenager," she said under her breath. "This has to be karma kicking me in the ass."

It took a couple of weeks for things to return to normal between Edward and Bella. School was keeping Edward occupied and between football and his ever blossoming social life, Bella didn't get to see much of him.

The first game of the season was a home game. Although Edward was on the J.V. team he still had to dress for the Varsity game. Bella sat through the Varsity match even though there was no chance of Edward getting any minutes. The game was a tough one with the lead going back and forth between the two teams.

Victoria arrived with her entourage following closely behind. She was dressed in skimpy shorts and a tight t-shirt, which didn't make it all the way to the waist of the shorts, exposing her bellybutton ring. Bella wasn't surprised the girl had a belly piercing. She totally fit the stereotype.

The group made their way to the fence beside the cheerleaders and began calling Edward's name. After several tries they finally managed to get his attention. Victoria blew him a kiss, at which he just shook his head and turned back to the game.

Bella smiled in appreciation and wanted to give her own personal cheer for Edward. "Edward, Edward, he's our boy, He just dismissed the Victoria ho." But she felt that would be inappropriate.

After the game Billy, Sue, and Bella sat at the kitchen table going over some ranch business. Edward opened the sliding glass door from the pool and walked in. "I thought you would be busy tonight," Bella said in shock.

"Why?" he asked as he sat at the table.

"I don't know, first home game usually has a dance afterwards."

"I don't dance." He said resolutely.

"Do you want me to teach you?" Bella offered.

He laughed and looked at her in jest, "I doubt you know the latest dances."

"I do too," she insisted. "You get in a huge huddle and grind on each other."

"And you think you would have to teach me that?"

"Oh, I see your point. But I could teach you the two step and a few country line dances. That way you can go to the Rodeo dances with Billy."

Sue looked over at Billy, "You cheatin' on me old man?"

"You don't think I use a cattle prod on the stock do you? I have to get those half naked cowgirls off me somehow." He winked at Edward.

"I'll let you teach me if you come with us to a Rodeo dance next summer." Edward knew it would be the last thing Bella would want to attend. The possibility of running into Jimmy would be too great. A part of Edward wanted to run into him; he also knew Billy had the same hope.

"Fine, if I get to pick which one." Everyone turned to Bella in surprise, "And Sue comes, too," she added.

"Nobody wants to see my fat Quileute ass spinning around a dance floor," Sue added.

"I happen to love your fat Quileute ass," Billy said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek.

"That's because you're blind and senile. I'm tired and heading home." Sue stood and waited for Billy to join her. Bella listened for the sound of a car starting but it never came. She knew Sue had been convinced to stay over with Billy another night.

Bella turned her attention to Edward, "I'm very glad to see you but I'm a little confused as to why."

"I've missed you," he said simply. "I've been so busy and I wanted to make sure we're okay."

"Of course we're okay. You didn't have to give up plans to ask me that."

"I didn't make any plans. I just wanted to hang with you tonight."

"And do what?"

He thought for a moment then looked at Bella. His eyes penetrated her again causing her to look away.

"Your pick, we'll do whatever you want."

She smiled, "Go riding?"

He hesitated, "Riding what?"

"Please, please, please," she begged.

He knew then she meant horses. He was much more comfortable around horses since working at the ranch but still wasn't a good rider. He always balked at the opportunity to ride but under the cover of darkness he felt more confident.

"On one condition," he conceded, "I get to ride with you and no teasing."

"That's technically two conditions, but okay."

Edward watched carefully as Bella saddled up a large, gentle mare. She rarely rode 'Pepper' and preferred a more spirited horse, but for a slow nighttime ride the mare would be perfect. She used one of Billy's saddles so they would both fit. Bella was small enough to slide in the spot right in front of Edward.

"Here you take the reins," she instructed as she pulled Edward's arms in front to her. One hand took the reins while the other rested on the saddle horn. Bella leaned back into his broad chest before making a sound that caused Pepper to move.

"Where should we go?" he asked.

"Just head through the gate, we can take her to the cemetery and back."

The horse lumbered slowly down the hill into the night. They kept to the back roads where the streets were quiet. Neither spoke as they were lulled by the clop, clop, clop of the hooves.

Edward pulled back on the reins when they got to the cemetery fence. "If you want to go in we will have to climb the gate," he said breaking the silence.

"Hum….you want to?"

He thought for a moment. "Not really, it will just depress me."

"Okay, let's head back."

Edward pulled the horse around and kicked lightly for her to begin walking again. Suddenly headlights came screeching around the corner causing Pepper to stop and begin stomping nervously. Edward wrapped his arms tightly around Bella to protect her from any sudden movements.

"Shhh, girl, it's okay," Bella tried soothing the spooked horse.

The car began honking a loud horn and girls stuck their heads out every window, screaming for Edward's attention. Pepper reared up onto her back legs. Bella threw her arms around the horse's neck as Edward grabbed the saddle with both hands.

It took all of his strength to remain in the saddle. When the horse came back to all fours Edward jumped from her back grabbing the reins close to the mare's mouth just like he watched Billy do many times. Bella sat up stunned with blood running down from her nose.

"Jesus," Edward cried when he saw her white face. He pulled his t-shirt off and handed it to Bella. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just hit my nose when she came down. I'm fine." Bella pulled her leg over and slid down to the ground. The car in question had come to a stop across the street from them.

Edward looked over at the girls in anger, "What the hell is wrong with you," he screamed.

"You said you were going home," Victoria accused.

"You're not my mother, Victoria. You have no right to check up on me."

Victoria jumped from the car putting both hands on her hips. "I just want to know why you lied to me."

Edward totally ignored her and pulled his t-shirt from Bella's face to check on the bleeding. "It's still going pretty good, pinch your nose here." He pulled her hand up to the bridge of her nose.

"Edward, I'm waiting," Victoria called to him.

He shut his eyes in frustration and took a deep breath. After tying the reins to the fence he walked across the street to confront Victoria. When the girl could clearly see the expression on his face she let her arms drop from her waist and took a step back.

Edward spoke softly and slowly, "If you ever hurt her again," he nodded in Bella's direction, "I will personally make sure you pay."

"She's a strong horse, Edward. I'm sure I didn't hurt her." Victoria's voice seethed in venom.

"I was talking about the girl," he said through clenched teeth.

"So was I," Victoria smirked.

Bella could see the anger rising in Edward and knew she had to do something to diffuse the situation. The last thing she wanted was the local high school kids putting her in the middle of their drama.

"Edward, I think something's wrong with Pepper," she called out to him.

He walked back to where the horse was tied ignoring Victoria when she jumped into the car and peeled out.

Bella lifted Pepper's front hoof, "I think I got it, it must have been a rock or something."

"How's the nose," he asked.

"I've always been a big bleeder. I'm fine."

Edward winced at her words and pulled his shirt away from her nose to check. "It's slowing down. Jump on and I will lead her for awhile."

"No, we can both ride. I don't think they'll come back, you were pretty angry."

He shook his head in disgust and exhaled loudly.

"I'm really impressed with how you handled yourself. You knew exactly what to do," she complimented.

"Are we talking about the horse or the girls?" he teased.

"The horse. Billy will be proud of you."

He looked at her and grimaced. "You're gonna have a shiner tomorrow. I can already see your eye turning black."

"Good thing I'm a pro at hiding them under makeup." She was trying to lighten the mood but her words cut Edward deeply.

He swallowed hard and put his hands on his hips and looked up at the sky. "I never wanted to be responsible for hurting you."

She reached out and grabbed his arm, "Oh my gosh, Edward. You didn't do this. I hit my nose on Pepper's neck. You kept me from getting hurt worse by jumping off and grabbing the reins. You didn't hurt me, you saved me."

Her tone was desperate and she was insistent on him understanding what she was saying. She pulled his face towards her, "This was just an accident. The girls didn't mean for me to get hurt. Pepper is not a spirited horse; she is old and probably doesn't see too well. I think it scared her because we were being so quiet on the ride. It was just a combination of circumstances."

His eyes looked at her sadly. He spoke with pain apparent in his voice, "Miami, don't try to smooth it over. You can get mad, you can yell at Victoria and call her names. Just don't look at me with panic on your face. I can't take that." His voice broke at the end and he looked down at his feet.

"Is that what I'm doing?" she asked in shock.

He held still and didn't answer.

Bella thought about it for a moment. "You're right, that stupid bitch is totally responsible for this."

Edward let out a booming laugh and raised his hand for Bella to give him a high five.

12

The nighttime rides became a tradition throughout the winter. They would bundle up in warm clothing and ride slowly to the cemetery and back without much talking. It was comforting and made them feel connected although life was pulling them in different directions.

It was March before Bella finally travelled with them to a rodeo. They made the drive to Boise and the closer they got the more nervous she became. Edward noticed and tried to distract her, but nothing could erase the possibility of seeing Jimmy. Her eyes darted in every direction for any trace of a familiar looking man.

Billy and Edward worked hard caring for the stock and Bella tried to stay out of their way as much as possible. She enjoyed standing on the railing and watching the cowboys practice. It made her think about her father and she would constantly have to blink back tears, but it felt good at the same time.

After the first day she began to relax and stopped worrying about Jimmy. Edward tried to impress her with his new found knowledge and she did her best to act impressed. They attended the rodeo dance and Billy followed along but remained in the back of the room nursing a beer. Sue was not feeling well and had remained behind.

"Will you dance with me?" Bella asked Edward and he gave her a big smile and nodded to the dance floor.

They walked together to the middle of the packed floor and Edward held out his hand for hers. She placed her small hand in his and he pulled her forward and into his arms. His entire body wrapped around hers and she wondered why she hadn't noticed how tall he had gotten, he towered over her and she felt small in his embrace.

"When did you get so big?" she asked.

He chuckled as if she said something obscene so she slapped his back. "I'm not a kid anymore, Bella. I'll be sixteen soon," he said proudly.

She tightened her hold on him and whispered, "Please stay a kid, I can't bear the thought of losing you."

"I'm not going anywhere," he said softly in return, but she knew it wasn't true. Medical school was calling for him and she couldn't condemn him to a life as a ranch hand, it wouldn't be fair to all those children he wanted to spare from losing their fathers.

The evening passed quickly and when they finally headed to the sleeping compartment of the large semi they found Billy asleep on the prone seat. "I'll check the stock," Edward offered and Bella watched him walk away, looking so much like a grown man.

She stood there remembering when she first saw him, his eyes looking at her as if they were destined to be somehow connected. He was just a small boy and had changed so much over the past two years, but his eyes still held the look of someone knowing more than she knew.

She reached for the hand rail to heft herself into the cab when someone walked up behind her. "Bella, is that you?"

Her blood turned to ice and she turned slowly to see Jimmy standing behind her. She automatically backed up against the truck and looked around for Edward. Jimmy noticed her eyes looking for someone and whispered loudly. "I don't think he'll be coming back too soon."

"Did you hurt him?" she asked with a shaky voice.

"I have no idea who you are talking about," he said with a sneer and took a step toward her. She ran past him and into the small makeshift stalls as she yelled out for Edward. She found him lying on the ground with blood soaked hay around the wound on his head. A flat board was on the ground which had obviously been used as a weapon.

She pulled him onto her lap as she held his head to her chest. "Edward, oh God, please be okay."

He groaned and opened his eyes to see her terrified face. "What happened?" he asked.

"Jimmy hit you from behind. Do you need to see a doctor?"

He sat up and pulled away from her, "Where is he?" he asked as he stood, staggering just a little from the hit to the head.

"No, Edward, don't. Please, let it go," she said with fear. She was so afraid Jimmy would take the one person she cared about and couldn't stand the thought of Edward coming anywhere near Jimmy.

She chased after him as he headed back to the truck. Jimmy was waiting in the exact spot Bella had left him. Edward easily pulled from her hold and walked quickly toward the smirking man. Just before reaching him, Edward grabbed the handrail and pulled himself into the air landing both boots directly into Jimmy's chest. He fell to the ground as the air rushed from his lungs.

"Get up," Edward screamed at him.

Jimmy took a few moments to stand and just as Edward let his fist fly, hitting him square in the jaw, Billy came around the front of the cab. He put his arm around Edward to pull him back, leaving Jimmy on the ground.

Bella ran forward and explained about the blood dripping down Edward's back to Billy. He looked at the cut and then back at Jimmy.

"Little girl, take Edward to the first aid station for stitches while I have a chat with Jimmy.

Bella pulled with all of her strength to get Edward to come with her. She glanced back to see Billy pull Jimmy to his feet by the front of his shirt. It was all she saw and could only imagine the _talking_ Jimmy was going to get.

Edward got five stitches and a dose of painkiller that had him struggling to stay awake. Bella couldn't stand the thought of remaining on the fairgrounds so she called a cab and took Edward to a hotel with her.

He was out as soon as she placed him on the bed, so she pulled off his boots and removed his bloody shirt, before snuggling up behind him as she held him in her arms all night. Losing Edward would be like losing her parents all over again. She couldn't let her mind even go there.

"I can't lose you," she whispered in the darkness.

Edward's eyes opened unknowingly to Bella, and a single tear fell onto the hotel sheets. He knew he would have to leave someday and hoped she would wait for him to return. He had nothing to offer her, but if she could only wait until he became a doctor he would come home and tell her how much he loved her all along, but he knew how ridiculous it was to believe she would ever see him as more than a little brother.

They woke up the next morning to the sun filtering through the curtains. Edward moaned loudly as he tried to lift his head and gave up when he felt Bella's arms tighten around him. He would happily put up with the pain to feel her holding him. Her hands began to run softly over his abs and he wasn't sure if she was awake or not.

When she finally pressed her body against his back he cleared his throat and asked, "Bella, are you awake?"

She jumped at the sound of his voice and quickly pulled away. She got out of bed and hurried into the bathroom, returning in a hotel robe. Edward sat up and held his head in his hands.

"I'll get you some ice," she offered and pulled on her jeans.

She returned and placed the ice in a towel and touched it softly to his head. He remained still until the ice took away some of the burning pain. He wanted to talk about what happened but wasn't sure what to say. He finally looked at his swollen knuckles and she caught the action. "Do you need ice for your hand?"

"No, it doesn't hurt. I just hope it hurt him," he said with an angry tone.

Bella placed her head against his back and shut her eyes. The thought of Edward and Jimmy together in any way filled her with guilt and remorse. Edward was so good and had a bright future in front of him; she couldn't let him ruin it over a grudge Jimmy was sure to hold. She decided to talk to Billy about leaving Edward home for the rest of the trips. She would fire him if she had to and hoped Billy wouldn't make it a big issue. The trip which was supposed to be filled with new beginnings plummeted her back into old memories.

Her nightmares returned and Edward would sit against her bed as he kept watch over her dreams. Bella felt awful for burdening him with her fears and tried to encourage him as much as possible to spend time with friends, even Victoria if that was what it would take to make him leave her side.

For his sixteenth birthday she threw a huge party, inviting most of the school. Edward seemed distant and wouldn't socialize much with the other kids. Bella finally pulled Lacey aside and asked her to talk with Edward. She watched as the shy girl made her way to where he was sitting.

Edward smiled at her and they soon began talking easily. But it didn't last, Victoria was not about to let someone steal her thunder and quickly grabbed Edward's hand. She pulled him off the lawn chair and into the pool before wrapping her legs around his waist.

Bella stared in anger, as she tried to convince herself it was for Lacey, but something stirred at the sight of Victoria being so aggressive with Edward. She watched as the girl tried every seductive move in the book and Edward slowly began to respond.

Bella and Lacey both found it easier to just leave. Bella began working on a small chair she was stripping to be repainted and Lacey headed to the barn to take a turn on a horse. By nightfall the party began breaking up and Edward left without speaking to Bella. She found it so out of character for him not to thank her before leaving.

The next day she was a little put out when Edward showed up. "You need to pick up the shit left on the trail," she said without looking at him.

"I'm sorry, I told them to stay in the arena," he said guiltily.

"Not horse shit, cups and napkins and shit like that," Bella clarified.

"When you live on a ranch you should refer to trash as shit," he said back and she turned to face him.

It took everything she had to calm down but she forced herself to do it when she saw his face. Something was wrong and he looked like he was about to cry. Bella nodded for him to sit and walked to the fridge.

"Want a soda and we'll talk?" she asked as she reached for two Cokes.

"Yeah," he said with a sigh, "I had sex for the first time last night."

Her hand froze and then quickly moved to grab a beer and only one soda. She needed something a lot stronger than a Coke for this conversation. She opened both bottles and walked over to sit across from Edward.

"Maybe you should be talking to your mom, not me," she suggested and he gave her a disgusted glare. She wouldn't look at him, and not because of his eyes, which looked to be in pain, but because she was afraid he would see the hurt in her own.

"So….," she began and he took a drink of his soda.

"I feel…God, I don't even know how I feel. I mean, I knew what I was doing, I just didn't want to be doing it with her," he said with regret.

"Did you tell her?"

"I told her we were not a couple and she said she didn't care, it was just sex," he said and took another drink.

"Um…did you use protection?"

"She's on the pill," he said to Bella's shocked face.

"She's only sixteen," she gasped.

"No, she's only fifteen," he clarified and Bella chuckled uncomfortably. The world was moving so much faster and she felt left behind. Young girls were seducing boys and taking birth control at the tender age of fifteen.

"A pill doesn't protect you from diseases, Edward. You really should wear a condom at all times."

He looked at her with an unreadable expression and Bella became lost in his haunting eyes. They pulled you inside his soul and she realized how easy it would be for young girls to lose themselves in the moment with him. One look would strip their panties right off and leave common sense far behind.

"How do you feel about what happened?" she finally asked him. "I mean do you have any questions?"

"It was just so…fast, and I don't mean it the way it sounds," he added to spare his pride. "I just feel there should have been more, you know what I mean?"

"Sex and love are two different things, you had sex, but you are not in love."

"Does it feel differently?" he asked shyly.

"The mechanics are the same, but yes, it feels very differently."

He looked out the window as he remained deep in thought and finally said, "I thought it would make me feel older, or like I was part of something everyone else knew about. I'm not embarrassed, but I don't want to see Victoria. I don't want her to think it will happen with us again."

"Why don't you ask Lacey out, I know she likes you, but it is hard for her to get your attention with Victoria around.

He nodded and stared at his hands for a moment before asking something very softly, "Did you love Jimmy?"

Bella sat back and took a long drink from her bottle. She could feel Edward's eyes on her but she didn't look at him. She didn't want him to see her shame. "I guess you could say he was a bit like Victoria. He was overwhelming and my father had been so strict; I wasn't very experienced with boys. I believed his lies and wished I had known better."

"Do you think having sex with other guys would have made things different?" he asked as if he needed to feel better about his own actions.

"I don't know, Jessica had sex with lots of boys and it just made her a neurotic mess. It is a fine line to walk, Edward."

His eyes grew wide and he asked, "Do you think I'm like Jessica?"

She laughed loudly and tried to ease his mind, "Did you have sex with three different girls last night, because that's what it would take to be like Jessica?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Are we good?" he asked softly.

Bella reached out and touched his arm, "Yeah, we're good."

She watched him walk outside to help Billy and felt her own body aching with need. She had been alone for so long and maybe it was time to look for someone to love. She knew it wouldn't be easy, since fear was a constant companion. She wasn't sure she would be able to trust a man enough to find love.


	5. Chapter 13 thru 15

The summer flew by with little drama. Edward was dating Lacey and spent most of his spare time with her, but he would always manage one evening to spend with Bella, doing anything she wanted, they would play board games, watch movies, or take horse rides.

She was spending more time with Jessica and had gone of several dates, always finding the men too forward, or too boring. She had even gone out with Jake a few more times, but never felt physical attraction for him.

By Bella's twenty-third birthday Jake was no longer calling. She hadn't even noticed until Jessica inquired about him one day. Bella was repainting the inside of the house all by herself and was pretty preoccupied. She felt guilty for changing some of the things her mother had done but felt it was time to make the house truly hers.

Edward's room was a complete makeover. She tried to make it uniquely his, giving it a masculine look. She bought a dark bed frame and let him chose the colors of the décor. When it was done she locked the door; wanting to be there when he got his first look.

The door bell rang while Bella still had paint on her hands, her hair was up in a ponytail and she had on old coveralls. She had to maneuver the doorknob with her elbows and found a young man standing on the porch with a large vase of flowers.

"Ms. White?" he asked.

"No, I'm Bella Swan," her heart was pounding at the mention of her married name.

The boy looked at the card again before asking, "Is there a Bella White here?"

Without answering she reached for the vase and asked the boy to wait while she got her purse. He turned and walked away saying, "Everything's been taken care of."

Her hands were shaking when she sat the vase on the kitchen counter. She pulled the card off the hanger and opened it. The card was the generic kind with no florist name anywhere. She tried to remember if she saw a vehicle the driver came in, but nothing came to mind.

It read: Happy Birthday Bella, Coral roses for my one desire."

It was typed and held no signature. She began desperately trying to think who would possibly send her roses using her married name. Every way she looked at it only one person could be responsible, Jimmy.

Grabbing a garbage bag from under the sink she quickly dumped the roses into it as she made her way to the large dumpster behind the corral. Tears were forming in her eyes and her breathing was becoming erratic. She was not going to let him terrorize her again. As she headed back to the house Edward pulled up on his scooter.

"Happy Birthday, Miami," she called out to her.

She tried to smile but he saw through her immediately. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she waved her hand to dismiss his concern. "I came across a mouse and it freaked me out."

"You should have waited for me."

"I live on a ranch; it is not a rare occurrence. I just need to toughen up a bit." The truth of her words struck home.

He pulled a paper bag out of his backpack and walked with her into the house.

"I finished your room," she informed him, "Want to see it?"

"Is yours done, too?"

"Yeah, but you have to see yours first."

He reached out his hand for her to take and placed the other one over his eyes. She laughed and pulled him down the hallway.

"Keep them closed while I unlock the door." He waited patiently while she fumbled with a key. He heard the door open and felt Bella move behind him pushing him into the room.

"Okay, open."

He pulled his hand down and opened one eye. When he finally opened the other his mouth fell open in shock. "No way, Miami; this is sic!"

"That's a good thing, right?" She laughed.

He stared unbelievably around the room. The black and red striped comforter worked perfectly with the dark stained bed frame and dresser. A flat screen television was mounted on the far wall with a Bose stereo underneath. The walls were painted cream to lighten the dark colors. It was the most amazing room he could ever imagine.

"I don't deserve this," he said softly turning to look at Bella.

"Sure you do, and you better enjoy it because college life is free from all of homes luxuries."

"I feel like it is my birthday, not yours." He walked over to give Bella a big hug.

"Now you can't laugh when you see my room. It is very feminine….I mean really girly!"

She led him down the hallway to the opposite end. Before opening the door she looked back at him. "Remember, no laughing."

"I'm dying of curiosity, just open the door."

She slowly opened the door and moved out of his way. He walked in; eyes widening as he spun around taking in the entire scene.

"Oh dear Lord," he said in awe. He brought his hand up to his stomach and bent over is complete hysterics. "Did the Barbie aisle at ToysRus explode?"

"Edward, I told you…."

"This is unbelievable, how old are you?" he teased.

The room was painted a pale pink with white furniture. The bed was a canopy of flowing pink material. The curtains and comforter were ruffles upon ruffles of pink. A huge soft pink rug was so thick it looked like a polar bear lying on the floor.

"Get out," she demanded when his laughing died down.

"I better, before my testicles run from my body."

Bella smacked his arm as he made his way past her. "This is the room I have always dreamed of so just shut your mouth."

"I need to rethink your birthday present," he continued, "I need to go find a giant stuffed animal to go with the Barbie dream room."

"Stop….you're hurting my feelings," she demanded. "I worked really hard on that room."

"I'm sorry, Miami. If you ever want to feel like a grown up you can come visit my room." Again his laughter had him doubled over.

"Give me my damn present, so you can leave."

"No, no, no, we're waiting for Sue and Billy. I have to be here when Billy sees that." He nodded toward her room.

"Fine, I'm taking a shower. Feel free to leave if the urge hits you."

"Do you have a dolphin shower head that sprays rainbows and sugar on you?"

Bella turned to walk away, but lifted her hand in the air extending her middle finger as she left.

When she finally returned Jessica, Sue, and Billy were seated at the table. Edward was sitting on the counter obviously not wanting to sit next to Jessica. "Are you two fighting already?" Bella sighed.

"Nope," Edward answered popping the P.

"You can't fight with someone when you never speak to them," Jessica explained.

"Both of you grow up," Bella demanded.

Her comment sent Edward into a fit of giggles causing everyone to ask what was going on.

"Nothing," she glared at Edward in warning.

"Well, happy birthday, little girl," Billy finally said.

Bella walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you Billy, You," she emphasized, "are a true gentleman."

Edward laughed harder.

A chocolate cake sat in the middle of the table next to a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Bella motioned for everyone to start eating and made her way to the refrigerator for three beers and one root beer. When she handed it to Edward he raised his eyebrows at her and had to choke down another round of chuckles.

When they finished eating Jessica handed Bella a present. It was a small box wrapped in pink paper. Bella refused to make eye contact with Edward knowing he would only laugh again. She opened the package to find a necklace with a horse pendent hanging from the gold chain; a small diamond in the horse's eye. It was an exact replica of one her mother had owned. Bella mentioned to Jessica her mother was most likely wearing it during the explosion.

"I was hoping I wouldn't cry this year," she complained as the tears fell from her eyes.

She hugged Jessica for several moments and then picked up an envelope from Billy. It took her a second to figure out what she was looking at. It was airline tickets to London. Bella looked at Billy in shock.

"Sue always wanted to go, and I don't want her going alone so it would help me out if you wouldn't mind going with her."

Bella jumped from her chair and gave Billy a huge hug and kiss.

It was Sue's turn to hand a box to Bella. It contained a book about sightseeing in London.

"I want to go but I have no idea how to plan a trip, so I'm leaving that part up to you." Sue confessed.

"I want to go, too," Jessica interjected. "Unless you're taking the brat," she looked over at Edward.

"This is a girl's trip only," Sue added.

Jessica smirked at Edward and he stuck his tongue out at her.

"Okay, now for the best gift," he joked handing her the paper bag he had pulled out of his backpack earlier.

It contained a box of some sort that was not wrapped. She pulled it from the bag to see the boxed DVD set of 'Anne of Green Gables'. "How did you know?" she asked softly.

"I was looking through some photo albums and your mom labeled one of the pictures mentioning how obsessed you were with the books. I figured you would like the series, too."

"Thank you", she cried. "Will you watch them with me?"

"Not in your room," he smiled.

"Why would she want you in her room, you perve," Jessica lamented.

Edward was tempted to tell her he had spent many nights in Bella's room, but he didn't want to embarrass Bella by letting people know about her nightmares. And not even Bella knew how many times he had to bring her out of the terror of her dreams.

"I guess this is as good a time as any….come on." Bella stood and motioned for the group to follow.

Edward lagged behind with a huge grin across his face in anticipation.

Jessica entered the room first. She gasped loudly and then made a choking noise. Sue was totally silent but her eyes were wide as saucers. Billy's reaction was priceless. He walked into the middle of the room and turned back to look at Bella.

"What in the hell happened in here?"

Edward burst into laughter and was unable to contain the ferocity of it. Bella dropped her head in embarrassment.

"Do you have a brain tumor or something, little girl?" Billy asked.

Her anger finally exploded, "This is what I want; it is for me and nobody else. I don't give a damn what you think. I like it and the only person who needs to like it is me, and I do, so it's all good."

The room was silent when she finished and everyone stared at her in amazement. Billy nodded and said, "About time."

Bella glared at him causing him to explain his comment. "I just think you need to stand up for yourself more; if you want to sleep in a Pepto-Bismol bottle that is your decision."

Edward began laughing again without considering Bella's newfound backbone. She turned slowly in his direction and let the glass full of beer fly. He was hit directly in the face gasping as the beer dripped from his eyes and nose. Everyone began laughing and Jessica actually jumped up and down.

When the evening finally ended Bella and Edward were curled up on opposite ends of the couch watching the DVD's he gave her. She turned to look at him just as he did the same.

"I'm sorry. I was way too defensive of my room." She conceded.

His mouth twitched a little but he maintained his composure. "I'm sorry, too. If you like it I shouldn't care." His mouth fell into a frown. "I should have been nicer considering all the trouble you went through to give me the perfect room."

"Well, I have to admit I almost took it back. I had considered redoing the room in bright pink."

Edward smiled noticing she was totally serious. "I apologize and promise I will never comment on your room again."

"Thank you," she said and looked at him skeptically.

"Happy Birthday, Miami," he said trying to be charming.

"This is one I will never forget," she admitted.

He scooted closer and took her hand in his, "Memorable is good."

"Yea," she smiled, "memorable is good."

After the movie Bella headed off to bed as Edward gathered the trash. He took it to the dumpster and noticed the flowers showing through the white garbage bag. He pulled the bag and opened it to reveal a dozen orange roses. The card was thrown in with the flowers and he retrieved it; carrying it to the lighted house to read.

"Bella," he called out loudly.

There was no response so he went to her bedroom door and knocked loudly. Still no response came, so he opened the door. He could hear the bathroom sink running and returned to the hallway to wait.

When he heard her moving around in her room he knocked again. "Don't come in," she yelled.

"When you're dressed come to my room," he demanded.

His adrenaline was pumping and he could feel his muscles flexing with the need to punch something. He finally stopped pacing and took several deep breathes to calm himself. Bella walked into the open doorway and froze when she saw the card in his hand.

Edward held the card up as he glared at her, "Is this your mouse?"

"Where did you get that?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Right next to the flowers," he answered loudly.

"I don't know who they are from."

"Don't you, Mrs. White?" Edward turned the card so she could see how it was addressed.

"Why are you mad at me?" she asked in defiance.

His eyes widened. "I'm not mad at you, Miami, I'm mad at the piece of crap that sent the flowers. Did you show this to Billy?"

Bella could only shake her head.

"Now I'm mad at you," Edward screamed. "You have people who love you and want to help. Why do you think you need to handle this on your own?"

"I honestly don't know who sent them, Edward. It doesn't have a florist contact so I can't call to ask. Yeah, it might be Jimmy and it might not. It was a kid who delivered them so maybe it is one of your fan club upset with me or something. I'm sure there is plenty gossip going around town about my ex. It would be easy for anyone to dig up my married name."

Edward seemed to relax a little. "I'll ask around. If Victoria had anything to do with this I will make her life a living hell."

"Calm down," Bella suggested. "Mean girls get bored very easily. If it was her, the best thing you can do is ignore it."

He thought for a moment and then nodded in agreement. He knew he would end up on her floor tonight; he was sure the dreams would be extra vivid.

14

The woman took the trip to London in the spring and spent two weeks touring the romantic homes from Jane Austin's and Thomas Hardy's books. Sue complained often about the food. She refused to try the dish called, spotted dick, Jessica insisted they all eat.

Bella felt Sue was only missing Billy and decided to bring up the subject of marriage.

"Sue, do you think you will ever marry Billy?"

"Heaven's no, I'm too old for marriage," she said with a chuckle.

"I'm going to marry Glen, if he asked tomorrow I would say yes," Jessica said adamantly.

Bella patted her hand and smiled, "I'm so glad you found him, he really is a good man."

"And still ugly as snot," Jessica said with a sigh and Bella smacked her arm.

"You'll find someone, Bella," Jessica assured her.

"You two hit the jackpot with Billy and Glen. I only attract losers," Bella said softly.

"Get rid of that loser Edward and maybe good men would come around," Jess complained.

Sue looked at her with wide eyes, "Don't you dare call that child a loser. I think of him as family."

"Oh God," Jessica moaned, "You warned me about Billy but you didn't say anything about Sue. The kid is so freaking annoying and no man is going to make a run at Bella with him hanging around."

"Any man that doesn't like Edward wouldn't interest me," Bella said defensively.

"It's not just the fact he is around, it is the way he is around. It is like he thinks you belong to him or something," Jessica continued.

"He dates often," Bella said and she wasn't sure if she was defending Edward or herself. "He is sexually active, too."

"Fine, now we just need to get you sexually active," Jessica said too loudly and a table of men looked over at them and laughed.

Jessica leaned in to whisper, "Here's your chance, Bella, see what the mother land has to offer."

Don't you dare," Bella warned her and saw the determination in Jessica's eyes as she glanced back at the table of men.

Bella felt tears form in her eyes as she begged her friend, "Please, Jess, a hook-up is not what I need. I need a man I can trust completely before sex can enter the picture."

Sue wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulder and whispered, "You'll find him, honey. The perfect man will show up just when you need him."

"Will I have the courage to marry him?" she asked and Sue looked away with shame. She realized she had fooled herself into thinking it was her strength keeping her from marrying Billy and in reality it was her fear.

"Well, hell," Sue said loudly, "Give me a big bite of that spotted dick."

Bella returned from London to find Edward dating Victoria. She had no idea what had happened and he looked guilty whenever Victoria came around. Bella assumed Lacey was not willing to be physical with him, so he returned to someone who would. It eventually caused a large rift between Edward and Bella and things were very different now.

Edward worked very hard the summer before his senior year. He could easily outpace Billy and began doing more and more of the work with the stock. They were thick as thieves and Bella felt jealous of the relationship they had which excluded her.

When his senior year started she refused to come to his football games, thinking he wouldn't even notice. After the second home game he came right to her house as Victoria waited in the car.

"Why are you here?" he asked with a loud angry voice.

"I live here," she pointed out, having no idea what he was talking about.

"No, I mean, why are you here, and not at my game; you haven't showed up at all this year."

"You noticed?" she said sarcastically.

His voice lowered and he looked a bit confused, "What?" he asked.

"Billy comes, and I am pretty sure Victoria shows up to reward you for any heroics you happen to perform," Bella yelled. "You're wearing condoms, I hope."

She knew she was being so unfair to him, it wasn't his fault girls wanted him and she couldn't find a decent man. She should have been happy for him, but she could only picture Victoria all over the boy she felt was part of her family. If Edward was truly her brother she would have a fit he was dating someone like Victoria.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked, as if he had missed something and that hurt even more. He seemed totally unaware of the distance that had worked its way between them.

"I just think you owe Jess an apology. It seems she would have been just your type in high school after all," she said hatefully.

"You don't know what you're talking about," he said as his jaw tightened and he looked back toward his car with a nervous glance.

"What happened to Lacey?" Bella asked and watched his eyes drop and his face become full of guilt.

"It didn't work," he said softly.

"You mean she wouldn't put out," she accused and his eyes snapped up to look at her in anger.

"God Bella, you are so clueless," he yelled and began backing out of the room. "Are you seriously this fucking blind?"

Her mouth fell open at the language he used. Edward had never talked that way and Bella had marveled at his civility many times over the years, but he was finally the teen she was expecting to see. He was angry, wanting a girl for sex, and using profanity. It took many years for this side of him to emerge and she wondered if she should be happy he was so…normal, now.

She followed him onto the porch as he headed down the walkway and to his car. "Go ahead and run, Edward," she yelled after him. "You are truly turning into a man now, you have it down perfectly. If you don't like hearing the truth, just run away."

He spun around and stared at her in rage. "I'm taking Victoria home and coming back. Don't put words in my mouth, I am not your ex. Try to be an adult when I return," he said as he slammed his car door harshly.

Bella watched him drive away with her mouth gaping open and her hands on her hips. He was only seventeen and yelling at her like she was the one who was being a child. She marched back inside the house and waited impatiently for him to return.

He walked through the door and she was ready to unleash on him, until she saw the look on his face. He wasn't angry, he was hurt, and she instantly was taken aback. They stared at each other in silence until he finally lowered his head and said, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't take things out on you. I'm just feeling lonely and…."

His head snapped up and he quickly said, "I don't want you to feel lonely, Miami. I thought if I stayed away you would find some man to love. I'm here so much you don't get a chance to have men over without me being in the way."

She knew at that moment Jessica had gotten to him and she wanted to kill her.

"Edward, that is not why I don't invite men over; I'm not healed enough. I don't want a serious relationship until I feel ready, and right now I haven't met anyone I am interested in enough to bring to my home."

He stared at her, having so much he wanted to say, but not the courage to say it. He was just a kid in high school and she wouldn't understand he dated Victoria because she was the exact same size as Bella and she never asked him to talk about how he felt about her. When he held her it was Bella he imagined in his mind.

He finally settled with a much smaller desire. "It is my senior year, I really want you to come to my games," he said in a young voice and she felt horrible for being so spiteful to him.

She walked over to where he stood defiantly and pulled him into a hug. His body now had the feel of a man's, thick and muscular, to go with his tall frame. He gave her a squeeze and she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I will be at your games," she said.

He remained holding her tightly and she sensed something needy in him. He was almost afraid to let go and she wondered if he believed her apology or if Jessica had placed doubts in his head forever.

"Are you busy tonight?" she asked him and he finally moved back to shake his head at her.

"How about a movie?" she said with a smile, "And I won't tease you over which one you pick."

He had hoped she would find someone to love as he moved further and further from her life. He didn't like the thought of her being alone while he was gone, but at the same time he was also comforted by the fact she hadn't found anyone yet.

Victoria was only a poor substitute to keep himself busy until college. He didn't want to chance losing his heart to anyone else. He wanted to return a doctor and claim Bella as his. Time was his enemy and he wasn't sure he could fight it much long his. Time was his enemy and he wasn't sure he could fight it much longer.

They fell naturally back into their old habits. She attended his games, he stayed over most nights, and they both tried not to think about the day he would leave.

It was spring and Edward's eighteenth birthday was looming in the near future. Bella had so many ideas to make it extra special and was waiting to see what college he got accepted into before deciding on the final plans.

She was working on the ranch books when a call came from the Forks Police Department.

"Hello, Mrs. White," an officer asked.

"No, my name is Bella Swan," she corrected.

"Do you know a James White?"

Her heart was pounding loudly and she gave a soft reply, "Yeah."

"We found him passed out in the back seat of his car on the interstate; we can release him to you or put him in jail to sober him up. He wasn't actually driving and insists a friend, Laurent, was with him."

"Lock him up," she said adamantly.

"Okay, but just so you know it will mean he will have to return to Forks for a court date if we lock him up."

Bella's mind was racing; she wanted him out of here as fast as possible and didn't want him to have any reason to return. Billy was on the road with the stock and Edward was out for the evening.

"He gets physical when he's drunk," Bella pointed out.

"He's pretty mellow right now. We can give you his friend's number and make sure he gets picked up," the officer pushed obviously not wanting to go to the trouble of booking him.

She finally told the officer to bring him to her house, but insisted she would not allow him inside. She called Laurent while she waited and told him to come get Jimmy as soon as possible. She found out they were headed a Rodeo on the reservation and not coming to bother her.

He assured her he was working on the abandoned car which had broken down and would be there in a couple of hours. Bella waited outside for the officers and had them put Jimmy in a chair by the pool.

She could smell the odor of liquor and urine and handed him a robe to put on while she laundered the foul smell from his clothes. She remained in the locked house as Jimmy remained in the chair.

It was dark before she heard Laurent come to pick him up. She finally came outside and gave Jimmy his clothes, refusing to take the robe back. His friend promised they wouldn't be in the area again and left.

Bella was tempted to ask him about the roses, but didn't want to actually have to speak to Jimmy to do it, so she let it go. It had been over a year ago and if he did do it, she didn't want to remind him.

As soon as the car pulled from the driveway she shut the big automatic gate and made sure all the alarms were activated. Her whole body was shaking and she wished Edward would come for the night.

It was two in the morning when Bella heard the semi pull through the gate. She finally fell asleep knowing Billy was home and he would hear her screams if she needed help.

The days began passing quickly and Bella finally noticed Edward hadn't been around at all. She walked to the arena and found Billy cleaning stalls. "Hey, what's up with Edward?" she asked him.

"I haven't seen him. Sue said she read in the paper he got accepted to Stanford," Billy said and she could tell by his voice he was a bit hurt by not hearing the news from Edward directly.

"Maybe he is busy with tests or prom," Bella said and felt deep in her heart it was more than that.

After a couple of more days she finally drove to his house. Elizabeth was working in the yard and looked up to smile when Bella approached her.

"The tulips look nice," Bella offered with a smile.

"Thanks, Edward planted them last fall."

"Is he here?" Bella asked.

"No, he's with Tyler. I was sorry to hear he was no longer working for you," him mother said to Bella's stunned face.

She wondered if he was embarrassed that he took a better offer and was thinking Bella would be mad. She understood he had to save for College, and he didn't know about the secret fund she had waiting for him.

"Tell him to come see me, okay?" Bella said as she tried not to show her pain.

"Okay, I don't see him much, he is with Victoria or his friends most of the time."

Bella nodded, understanding he wanted as much time with kids his own age as possible. He had fun exciting things to do and spending nights at home with Bella was not one of them.

Edward never came by, and the evening of his eighteenth birthday she sat alone at her table in front of a small cake she had made just in case he stopped by. She looked at the passbook she held in her hand, planning to surprise him with the money for college. When the clock struck midnight she finally went into her bedroom and cried herself to sleep.

She hired a new boy for the summer, but he was nothing like Edward. He found Bella annoying and tried to stay away from her as much as possible. Bella became frantic in her desire to update the house. She did as much of the projects she could do herself, but she never once opened the door to Edward's room.

15

Summer passed without even a glimpse of Edward. One August night an unusual cold front brought freezing rain and thunder to the area, causing the power to go out frequently. Bella finally turned out the lights and made a fire in the fireplace to give her some light and warm up the chilled house.

A loud knock sounded on the door and she opened it to find Edward standing on her porch soaking wet. She gasped at the sight of him and felt her heart jump with joy. She opened the door and quickly pulled him in.

"Let me get you a towel," she said and ran down the hallway.

When she returned he was still by the door, holding his wet shirt in his hand, so she reached out at took it from him. "Have a seat, I'll throw this in the dryer, I hope we can keep power," she yelled back to him.

She could smell the liquor on his shirt and felt her body tense in fear. She had no idea what kind of drunk Edward was and worried for her safety. When she came back to the family room he was sitting along the fireplace bench so she sat across the room on a barstool, close enough to the back door to run if she needed to.

Edward was holding the towel around his shoulders with his body stretched out in front of him. Bella waited for him to say something but he only stared at her with accusing eyes.

"Congratulations, for getting into Stanford," Bella said.

"Thanks," he mumbled.

"I have something for you," she said and grabbed the passbook out of the desk drawer. "I put away a bit of your paycheck over the years so you would have money for college."

"I don't want your money," he said angrily.

Her head fell and she tried so hard not to cry. "It's your money, you earned it," she said and sat the small book on the back of the recliner.

"I was at a party, at Tyler's," he began to explain. "We all fly out tomorrow for school."

She nodded and kept her head down.

"I've been drinking so I parked my jeep out front and knocked," he said but she didn't understand why he chose her house to stop at.

"Do you want me to drive you home?" she asked.

"Is he here?"

Bella looked out the back window to see if Billy was home, but the loss of power made everything dark and she wasn't sure if he just kept his lights off or if he was gone.

"Not Billy," Edward said in anger.

She looked over at his clenched jaw in confusion. "Who?"

"Him," he said again.

Bella looked back out the dark glass and Edward mumbled, "Never mind."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Edward; do you want to see Billy?"

"No, I guess I just want to know if he really changed or if you got better at taking a punch," he said and stood.

Bella felt her body going numb and she took a deep breath as her tears began to fall. "Get out of my house," she cried.

"How could you do this to me, Bella?" he yelled. "How could you just throw me aside?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Edward," she pleaded. "You just quit one day without saying a word. I never did anything to you."

His eyes grew wide and she could tell his anger rose, too. "I didn't quit, he fired me, for you."

"Billy fired you?" she asked in shock.

"No, your husband fired me," Edward yelled even louder.

"Jimmy?"

Edward sat back down and looked away from her in exasperation.

"Oh my God, you came by when Jimmy was here?"

"Yeah, so did you guys work it out?" he asked with a voice so full of pain it sent more tears from Bella's eyes.

"No, I mean, we never even spoke to each other that day. The police brought him here until his buddy could pick him up. I never let him in the house," she tried to explain.

"Really, because he was wearing your robe and twirling a pair of your underwear with his finger?"

"Because I washed his filthy clothes, I gave him the robe to wear and a pair of my panties must have stuck to it from the static. I never…."

She finally looked at Edward and stood with her own anger. "How could you ever believe I would take him back, you knew me better than anyone, Edward, you should have asked me."

"He told me you were too embarrassed to fire me and asked him to do it, so you could work on your marriage. I believed him, he sounded so believable" Edward said and she couldn't tell if he was angry at himself or sad.

"Why?" she cried out. "How could you have been so blinded by Jimmy?"

"Ask yourself that question, Bella, because you are so tragically blind about everything," he said and finally stood back up as if to make a stand on an important point.

"Well then maybe you should enlighten me?" she challenged, "Since you seem to know so much more than me."

His fury tempered a bit and sadness took over his features. He let his shoulders slump and shook his head back and forth a few times. She waited patiently for him to say what he was feeling, since it appeared to be something very painful.

"I came here almost every day since I was thirteen just hoping that once, just one time, you would look at me the way I look at you."

She saw tears fill his eyes as he continued, "You want to know why I dated Victoria? Because she didn't care if I closed my eyes when I held her and pretended it was you. She never needed to hear words of caring from me like other girls wanted, those words I only felt for you."

"Edward," she said in just a whisper and felt unable to swallow, "I'm twenty-four."

"So what," he said in defeat. "Do you honestly think I don't know what I feel in my heart because of our age difference?"

"I mean, it's illegal to think of you that way," she said to make things much worse.

Edward closed his eyes from the pain of her words and said, "I'm eighteen, it's not illegal."

"I've never really looked at you like that, I mean, I loved you like family and…"

He gave her an anguished expression and threw his hands in the air.

"I'm asking you now to look at me _like that_. It's just you and me, right now, one night, look at me _like that_," he said and took a step toward her.

Her entire body was shaking and she was so afraid of doing or saying something that would ruin their relationship forever. "I missed you, so much. I needed your friendship, Edward."

His eyes filled with tears and he whispered with desperation, "I want you, Bella, and I want you to want me back."

Her chest was rising and falling rapidly as he stepped even closer. He had stopped being the little boys she met a long time ago, and was now the confident man in front of her, asking for her to see him as such.

Her body was begging her to pull him into her arms, but she was terrified. It wasn't a fear like Jimmy produced; it was a fear of admitting what her heart already knew. Edward was perfect for her, and she would never find the right man because she already had.

"You're leaving," she said as she struggled to speak.

"Not yet," he whispered and reached out to place his hand on her waist.

She inhaled deeply at the feeling of his warm hand on her skin. He used just one finger to raise her chin so he could look into her eyes. Chills ran through her body as she stared into the eyes of a man, the same eyes which had showed her all along how he felt.

"I love you," he said silently, with only a breath of a voice.

Her arms rose with a will of their own and circled his neck. His hands moved to her back and pulled her body against his causing her to sigh. She buried her face in his neck as he tightened his hold on her shaking body.

"Bella, kiss me," he pleaded into her ear and she felt her heart beating loudly with anticipation.

She pulled her face back and looked at his lips, begging her with a need she couldn't deny. "Oh God," she moaned and pulled his mouth to hers.

It started slow and hesitant, but continued to grow until it was impossible to have anymore of him. He kissed her with a passion she had never felt before, licking her lips often with his warm tongue as he moved expertly around her mouth.

He was holding her head in his hands to keep her connected to him as she ran her hands across his bare back and chest. When they finally pulled apart, breathing heavily and clinging to each other, he asked, "Can I stay tonight?"

"Edward, I can't think," she gasped and he shook his head.

"No, just feel, come to my bed and let me show you how much I love you. Come feel my love, Bella."

She crashed onto his lips again so he picked her up in his arms and walked down the hallway to the room she never dared to look in. He walked to the middle of the room and sat her on her feet.

"Tell me no if you want," he said as he removed his hands from her body. "I'll understand."

Her mind was spinning and she couldn't make herself say the word no, but other thoughts were making her ready to run from that room. She had only been with Jimmy and he constantly complained about her performance in the bedroom. Edward had teenage girls throwing themselves at him and most likely a lot more knowledgeable at pleasing him than she was. It was the fear of disappointing him that made her ready to bolt.

"Hey," he said softly and she looked up into his tantalizing eyes. "You could never disappoint me."

She was amazed at how well he knew her and how much she trusted him. She reached for the bottom of her small t-shirt and pulled it over her head. The room was so dark, only flickers of light coming from the fireplace in the other room gave them a way to see.

He moved his hands down her body, feeling what he couldn't see clearly and moved the small boxers down her legs. She finally reached for the button on his shorts and ran the zipper slowly down as he moaned loudly from the contact.

His feral sounds sent her over the edge and she quickly pulled him to the bed. He removed his boxers in one swift motion and lay gently over her as he kissed her neck and chest.

"Edward," she cried out as she succumbed to his movements, wrapping her legs tightly around his torso.

"Oh God," he said into her flesh, "The feel of your body is amazing."

"You're mine," she said loudly into the air as she melted under him.

"I'm yours," he reaffirmed, moving in perfect unison with her body.

He slowed down when he felt her body tense and kissed her tenderly to calm the building pressure. Her mouth relaxed and let him pull her lips gently as he teased her senses. She clenched her muscles around him, causing him to gasp and return to his previous rhythm.

They were both panting loudly, feeding off the noises of each other until they couldn't hold back any longer. She arched into him tightly as his head fell back, screaming out her name as the spasms overtook his body. Her teeth clenched and she grabbed the rails of the headboard as she yelled out in pleasure.

He rolled to her side, pulling her body onto him as he held her tightly to his chest. She could hear his soft cries as his tears fell back into his hair and he sniffed a couple of times.

"I love you, Edward," she said softly.

"No regrets?" he asked with a shaky voice.

"No, I've never felt love like that, thank you," she told him honestly.

"I'll love you forever," he said rolling them both onto their sides so they could look into the other's face.

Bella ran her fingers down his cheek and finally asked, "What time?"

"Six-thirty," he said with a sad voice.

She kissed him gently and tried to smile. She wanted to ask him to stay and take over the ranch, but it wasn't his dream, it was hers. She had to let him reach his potential and experience everything college life had to offer.

He felt sick at the thought of leaving, but he had nothing to offer her. He couldn't be her handyman his whole life and she deserved a professional man she could be proud of. The small town would make her life miserable if he stayed and tried to have an open relationship with her. He hoped what just happened between them would give her a reason to wait for him.

"Edward," she called to pull him from his thoughts. "Didn't I tell you to always wear a condom?"

"Oops," he laughed.

"You are such a child," she teased him.

"Who was you're daddy a moment ago?" he threw back at her, feeling very proud of himself.

"That's true," she conceded and kissed his neck.

"Plus, I have two working hands," he said and pretended to grab at her with a deformed hand.

"Stop being mean," she said and then added, "And stop bringing up Jake when I am so blissfully happy right now."

"You are?" he asked with a huge grin.

"Yes, I am," she answered and laid her face against his chest. "I've never been this happy in my life."

They stayed intertwined, holding each other tightly as the night moved much too quickly. With each ticking of the clock they knew a very difficult scene waited for them. Bella promised herself she would be cheery and upbeat for Edward's sake, but emotion was weighing on her.

Bella fell deeper and deeper into her thoughts as she realized time would take him away from her. He wasn't holding fear in his heart, so he was free to find a young woman to love. She was sure he would believe he was going to be faithful, but the years would make them strangers and he deserved to have the woman of his choice, not one he made promises to in his innocence.

His thoughts were of exactly how much did he need to succeed to be worthy of her. Would a bachelor's degree be enough or did he need to be an M.D. to make her comfortable around the gossips in town? He wanted to take classes as quickly as possible to return before a man without a deformed hand won her heart.

The sun began to rise and the room became lighter as their hearts felt darker. Edward rose onto his elbow and looked at her face, trying to memorize the look of when she loved him, terrified he would never see it again.

Bella tried to smile, but her tears gave her away. He wiped them from her eyes and shook his head, "No, love, no tears."

"I only care about your happiness, remember that," she told him.

"You make me happy; it has always been you, Miami."

He leaned over to kiss her lips and she pulled him tightly to her body. This time their passion was not new and unrestrained, it was sad and desperate, wishing for time to hold still or leap forward.

When his phone alarm began to sound she sat up so she wouldn't have to look at his face. He rose to put on his boxers and shorts as she headed to the dryer to get his shirt. She threw on a short robe and grabbed the passbook to place in his pocket as he pulled on his shirt.

The moment finally arrived and there was nothing they could do to stop it. "I'll say goodbye to Billy before I go," he mumbled and she nodded.

"He'll be glad," she offered.

"I don't know if I'll be home for the holidays, I got a job on campus and I…" 

"I understand, don't worry about it," she said with a furrowed brow.

She was staring at his chest as she held the material from his shirt in her hand and felt him shaking. "I've got to go," he whispered and she pounded on his chest with her fist a couple of times before letting go completely.

"Don't say it, okay, just go," she begged.

He leaned over to kiss her head and walked out the door. She held perfectly still, listening to the far off sound of Billy's voice. She leaned her forehead against the wall and heard Edward's jeep start up and drive down the hill. Her body slowly slid down the wall until she was buried over her knees, sobbing loudly.

A pair of soft hands pulled her from the ground and she looked up to see Sue trying to comfort her. "He said you would need me," she whispered.

Bella fell into her waiting arms and cried like a woman who found love, only to lose it again so quickly. He knew exactly what Bella needed and did his best to provide it for her. She realized they never made any promises or any plans to see each other again, and she knew deep in her soul this was the one and only time she would join him in his bed.


	6. Chapter 16 thru 18

16

Summers and winters melded together into one painful longing. Bella ran into Elizabeth in the post office and found out Edward was taking a full load of classes along with some online courses. Elizabeth was worried about the stress of such a load and said Edward was determined to finish his bachelor's in only three years.

Bella silently prayed he could do it. Three years wouldn't be so hard and he could return home and live with her forever. Time began to move faster when Sue became ill. Bella spent every spare moment caring for her and worried about Billy if she didn't make it. He sat by her bedside, never coming home at night, holding her hand as she slept.

It was four months later when Sue could finally leave her house and Billy returned to all the work he had been avoiding at the ranch. Bella helped as much as she could to get him caught up, getting up at the crack of dawn and working until nightfall.

One day Billy showed up from an errand in town with some big news. "I heard Edward graduates this May, I think you should surprise him and show up."

"Really, you don't think he would feel weird, we haven't talked since he left?" she asked, but Billy's response really didn't matter. She was already making plans in her head and felt a renewed sense of happiness in her life.

"I think it would be a great graduation gift," Billy said with a wink and Bella smiled widely.

She checked online to see the exact date for graduation and booked a flight and a room. She fretted over what to wear and had to turn to Jessica for help. She had never confessed to her friend what had happened between them and hoped Jessica wouldn't read too much into the fact she was showing up unexpectedly to his graduation.

They spent the day shopping in Port Angeles and Bella tried on more dresses than she cared to remember, finally coming out of the dressing room in a simple black sheath dress.

"Perfect," Jessica exclaimed. "It is classy but shows just enough skin. Maybe some professor will notice you."

"Yeah, maybe," Bella answered as she looked away.

She decided to go with some heels and hoped she wouldn't have to walk too far on campus. She wanted to be tall enough to kiss Edward without making him bend over and also wanted to show off her impressive leg muscles.

It was hard to shop for the right gift with Jessica tailing along. She wanted to make it really personal and intimate but chose a silver diploma holder and planned on shopping when she got to California.

The night before her flight she couldn't sleep and went into Edward's old room to feel closer to him, she held his pillow in her arms wishing it was his body and tried to imagine what their meeting would be like. She would wait to see him smile and then run into his arms, begging him to come home and never leave again.

She wondered if he still planned to be a doctor and if she would be able to support the idea. She would not stay away this time if he continued on with school. She would visit him as much as he would allow.

The flight seemed like a continental trip instead of just down the coast. Her anxiety rose as she grew closer to her goal, holding Edward in her arms. She drove to her hotel and took her time dressing for the ceremony.

Her legs were shaking as she walked into the large auditorium full of graduates. She sat close to an exit and searched the place for any sign of Edward's family. His brother-in-law Emmett could be heard laughing, echoing in the large room. Bella watched the family and when they all stood to wave she looked over to see Edward waving back in his cap and gown.

Tears filled her eyes and she covered her mouth so she wouldn't cry at the sight of his tall body and big smile. He looked so handsome and the full face of a boy was replaced by the chiseled face of a man.

She stared at him during the entire ceremony, noticing how tired he appeared and how frequently he rubbed his eyes. When it was over she struggled through the crowd to follow his family onto the grass in front of the auditorium.

They were posing for pictures as Bella stood hidden beside a tree. The sound of his voice sent chills through her body and she was ready to step into the open when Alice said, "Okay, Edward, now a picture with your wife."

Bella moved back behind the tree as her heart pounded with unbelievable pain. She glanced over to the family to see Edward standing with his arm around a woman, a very pregnant woman.

Her focus was not on Edward's face, but the blonde woman next to him. "Smile Tanya," Alice instructed and the woman looked at Edward and gave a big smile.

Bella slipped her shoes off of her feet and picked them up before running from the area as quickly as she could. She reached the parking lot with tears ruining her makeup and people staring at her wondering if she needed assistance.

She got in her car before collapsing into loud sobs. She felt so stupid for ever thinking something permanent could happen with Edward. He deserved a beautiful wife free from scars, which he could have beautiful babies with. Her own words echoed in her head, "I only care about your happiness."

At this moment being happy for Edward was too much to ask. She knew it would take a long time to forget about him, and hoped he remained far from Forks with his family. She checked out of the hotel and flew home.

She arrived at the ranch in the middle of the night and was glad she wouldn't have to face Sue or Billy. She took a shower and headed down the hallway to Edward's room. She stood in the middle of it as memories of their one night together played in her head. The pain was too much, so she began stripping the room of everything that belonged to him.

She moved all the furniture into the garage and planned to change every single thing including the paint, so she could stand to have the room in the house.

Life moved on and Bella was the maid of honor for Jessica and Glen's wedding. She read about Victoria's wedding in the local paper and then a few months later Lacey's. Jake had called again and Bella tried really hard to find something to love in such a good man, but her heart remained focused on Edward.

She became a more dedicated partner to Billy and travelled to several events with him. Edward's name was never spoken and Bella became comfortable with the course of her life. The days became months which became years.

One evening she stopped by the market and ran into Elizabeth. She looked at the two small girls in the basket smiling up at her and Elizabeth introduced them. "Bella, these are Edward's girls, Kelly and Annie."

Bella looked back at the girls and prayed her tears would stay away. "Hi," Bella said to the smiling faces and held the cart firmly so Elizabeth wouldn't see her hands shaking. "Are they visiting or has he moved home?"

"He's doing his residency here in Forks. He works around the clock and their mother…is busy," Elizabeth said and Bella noticed the tense sound in her voice.

At that moment Elizabeth's cell phone rang and she looked at it worriedly, "Oh no," she mumbled and answered the phone. Bella didn't listen to her conversation; her focus was on the two little girls.

"How old are you?" she asked them.

"I'm six and Annie is four," Kelly answered.

"You are both very pretty," Bella said and watched both girls beam up at her.

Elizabeth hung up her phone and looked panicked. "I'm being called into work, there has been an accident at one of the mills and I have no idea how to reach Tanya."

"Do you need someone to watch the girls?" Bella asked.

"Would you mind, I'll have Edward come get them the moment he is free."

Bella looked away and nodded. The thought of facing Edward terrified her, but she was sure he would send his wife anyway. She turned to the two girls and asked, "Would you like to come to my house and swim or ride a horse?"

The both cheered loudly and Elizabeth looked at Bella with relief, "Thank you so much."

"It's no problem, go ahead, we'll be fine."

She moved over to the cart the girls were in and let them both pick out what they wanted for dinner. She made sure to have ingredients to make sugar cookies and headed home. The girls were fascinated with the horses and the pool. Kelly rode like she had been on a horse her whole life and tiny Annie swam like a fish.

They made a plate of cookies for their father and after taking a bath Bella dressed them in Edward's old t-shirts and put them in her bed to watch a movie. She got between them and they snuggled up to her side.

"Bella, I wish you were my mommy," Annie said and she looked at the girl in shock.

"Our mommy doesn't like us," Kelly said sadly.

"Sure she does," Bella said, "Mommies love their babies very much."

"She is mean to daddy," Kelly said and Bella's heart twisted in her chest.

She felt awkward hearing personal things about Edward's marriage so she changed the subject. "Did you know your daddy used to work here? He used to be here all the time, helping with the horses and swimming in the pool."

"Daddy acts like a horse sometimes and lets us ride on his back," Annie said and Bella laughed along with them.

She eventually turned on the movie and both girls fell asleep after such an active day. The dishes were done and the cookie mess cleaned up before a soft knock sounded on the door. Bella walked slowly to the front door and took a deep breath before opening it.

Edward looked directly into her eyes and the familiar jolt ran through her. "I'm sorry," he offered and she shook her head and opened the screen door.

"It was not a problem, you have wonderful daughters." She knew he was talking about more than just her babysitting, but she wasn't ready to talk about those things yet.

His head fell and she could tell how uncomfortable he was so she said, "They're asleep in my bed."

He followed her to the room and looked around at the muted earth tones the room was decorated in. "Keep your mouth shut," Bella said and he gave her a smile that melted her heart.

"I'm not saying anything," he chuckled.

She watched as his long arms easily lifted Kelly. The little girl opened her eyes and tightened her arms around his neck, "Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, Princess," he said and kissed her sweetly.

Bella picked up Annie who remained fast asleep and followed Edward to his car. When he placed Kelly on the seat she said in a panic, "We made you cookies, daddy."

"I'll get them," Bella assured her and handed the sleeping child in her arms to her father.

She ran into the house and grabbed the plate of cookies. She exited the house just as a car drove up. Edward tensed and walked quickly to the new car. A woman climbed out and Bella recognized her as Tanya from the graduation.

"I've got them, go home," Edward said harshly.

The woman looked past him to where Bella was standing inside the gate and asked, "Is that her?"

"Go home, now," Edward insisted. The woman glared at Bella for a moment and finally got in her car to speed away. Edward let his head drop in embarrassment and walked quickly to his car.

Bella followed and handed the plate to him after he sat in the driver seat. "Edward," she said softly, "Tell Elizabeth I would love to watch the girls whenever she needs it."

He only nodded so she reached out and brought his chin over to face her. "I would love to watch them," she reiterated and noticed so much pain in his beautiful glass eyes.

"Thanks, Miam….Bella," he said and started the engine.

Bella watched him drive away and felt like her heart was bleeding. His wonderful life was anything but wonderful. She wanted the name Miami to easily slip from his mouth, but he showed her things had changed and she was simply Bella now. Her concern was for his girls, something was going on between Edward and Tanya, and the girls were caught in the middle.

Kelly and Annie began spending so much time at Bella's finding it much more fun than playing alone at Elizabeth's. Bella would pick them up before lunch and bring them home after dinner. She never ran into Edward or Tanya.

One afternoon Bella was playing with the girls in the pool when Kelly ask bluntly, "Did you ever love my daddy?"

"A lot of people in town love your daddy," she said to deflect.

Kelly put her arms around Bella's neck and said, "I wish daddy would have married you, I love you."

There was no way her tears were going to remain restrained and she smiled before ducking under the water. Kelly laughed when they both surfaced and Bella hugged her tightly. "I love you too, sweetheart," Bella confessed.

The back gate opened and Bella looked up in surprise to see Tanya glaring at her and the girls. Kelly tensed in Bella's arms and tightened her hold around Bella's neck. Annie moved closer to Bella, too.

She realized these girls were terrified of their mother and felt the need to protect them. "We're not finished with swimming lessons," Bella lied. "I'll bring them home when we're done."

"No more lessons," Tanya said hatefully and looked at her daughters. "Grab your stuff and get in the car."

Both girls moved quickly to get out of the pool and Bella felt panic growing. "They're wet, let me put them in dry clothes and I'll bring the right home."

"They won't be coming back here ever again," Tanya said with her arms crossed.

"Why mommy?" Kelly asked in tears, "We like it here."

"Shut up," Tanya said harshly and grabbed Kelly by the arm.

"Tanya, please don't punish the girls because of me. Let's talk this out."

"Stay away from my family. I know what you're planning and you can't have him," she said dragging Kelly from the yard.

"Mommy, you're hurting me," Kelly cried out.

"Shut up," Tanya yelled and shook her furiously.

"Stop," Bella cried out, terrified she was going to make things worse for the girls, but unable to let her abuse them in front of her.

Sue walked out of Billy's door and stared at what was going on. She was so much smaller after her illness but she still had a no nonsense aura about her. She walked down the stairs and over to the car where Tanya was putting the seatbelts on the two wailing girls.

"What's going on?" Sue asked when Tanya stood.

"I'm taking my children home," Tanya said in anger.

"It sounds to me like they don't want to go home," Sue said calmly.

"Too bad, they're my kids. I'm not letting them spend time with Edward's whore."

"Then why are you taking them with you?" Sue asked and Bella had to look away so she wouldn't laugh.

"I'm his wife," she said angrily.

Sue looked her up and down as if trying to find some plausible reason why that would be so. "Did he lose a bet?" she finally asked.

Bella covered her mouth and Tanya got in the car and sped away. Sue looked at the open driveway gate and shook her head, "We really need to keep that gate locked."

"I agree," Bella said and put her arm around Sue. "How did Edward end up with such a monster?"

"He's the only person I know who went to college and got dumber," Sue said and both women chuckled.

17

The girls never returned and Bella was finding the quiet of the house unbearable. She finally called Jessica to meet her for lunch and shopping in Port Angeles. The conversation centered on Jessica and Bella only had to nod at the appropriate times to keep the chat going.

They ate a really nice restaurant and right in the middle of the meal Bella saw Tanya walk from the bar area with her arms wrapped around a man. They kissed passionately and Tanya headed to the ladies room as the man headed to the parking area to get the car.

Bella jumped from her seat and walked quickly to the restroom. Tanya exited a stall to find her leaning against the sink, blocking Tanya's path to wash her hands.

"Are you fucking kidding me," Bella said with venom, never feeling so angry in her life.

"Do you care to explain?" Tanya said with a chuckle.

"You have such an amazing husband and you cheat on him?" Bella clarified.

"Amazing husband? No, doesn't ring a bell," Tanya said with a smile.

Bella was fighting the urge to punch the woman. She had everything Bella wanted, Edward, and adorable children to love, and she didn't appreciate any of it. It was beyond her comprehension how anyone could purposely hurt Edward.

"You don't deserve him, he was a kind, gentle man, and you are ruining him by being unfaithful," Bella said through clenched teeth.

"You have it all wrong. Edward cheats on me. Edward has never been faithful because he is too busy cheating with you," she said hatefully and Bella gasped.

"That's a lie," she insisted.

"Just because it is only in his head doesn't make it any less of a betrayal," Tanya explained. "He calls out for you in his sleep, he writes your name all over his text books, and gave our daughter your name. How do you think that makes me feel?"

"My name?" Bella asked in confusion.

"When he calls her, my Annie, do you really think I don't understand what he means?"

"It's not the same; you are sleeping with other men when you should be taking care of your kids. God, think of your girls," Bella begged.

Tanya laughed as if Bella didn't understand an inside joke and shook her head, "I'm not the stay at home mom type."

"Then divorce him." Bella felt a portion of her mind hope it was exactly what Tanya would do. She didn't care Edward had fallen in love with this woman; she just wanted a chance to have him back in her life, whatever the cost.

"Are you kidding? He's finally getting close to the big payoff. I would be a fool to leave right before he becomes an actual doctor. I put in my time and I deserve the money."

"Money, you are staying with him for money?" Bella asked and tried to keep the vomit from working its way out of her throat.

"What else is he good for?" Tanya asked hatefully.

"I'll tell him," Bella threatened.

Tanya laughed again like Bella was missing something and decided to leave without washing her hands after saying, "You do that." She climbed into the waiting car and leaned over to kiss the man deeply before turning to grin at Bella.

She walked back to the table feeling completely numb. Jessica looked at her face and reached out for her hand. "What happened?"

It was exactly what Bella wanted to know. What happened to Edward that pulled him from her life and put him in this awful situation? Why would he let a woman treat him so badly when he must have wanted her all along? Bella hadn't noticed Annie's name was meant as hers.

"I saw Edward's wife with another man," Bella said softly and Jessica began looking around the room.

"She left. She told me she only wanted Edward's money and she doesn't love him."

"I told you he was annoying," Jessica laughed and Bella looked at her as tears fell from her eyes.

"I love him," Jess. "I love him so much and every day without him has been hell."

"Come on, Bells, he's too old to be your little brother, let it go," Jessica advised.

"Not as my brother. I let him go, years ago when he left for college, I let him leave my bed and go fulfill his dreams. It cost me the man I love."

Jessica's mouth was hanging open in shock. "You were sleeping with him?"

"Once, the night before he left. I'm not sorry, Jess. He was more of a man at eighteen than any man I have ever known. Why would he marry her and leave me?" Bella cried.

"You need to ask him that question," Jessica said with a determined voice. "Bella, if you want him fight for him. Tell him what you saw and drag him back to your bed. I can teach you a couple of things that will make him putty in your hands."

Bella finally looked at her friend and laughed, "What makes you think I don't already know them?"

"Come on, when it comes to you and me, my quantity overrules your quality."

"Maybe I'll have Billy talk to him," Bella said as she went back into deep thought.

"Hey," Jessica said and leaned in close to say something quietly. "Do you think Quileute guys do it differently? I mean, do you think they have some secret skill white men don't have?"

"I'll let you ask Billy that question; it grosses me out just to think of him and Sue together. I view them as my parents and pretend they actually have no genitalia."

"I think Billy is kind of hot," Jessica confessed.

"Stop it," Bella yelled as she covered her ears.

"Sorry, I forgot you look for men at the elementary school."

Bella placed a tip on the table and stood to leave. "You are such a hateful slut, you know, Jessica."

"Yeah, I know," she said and followed Bella out the door.

It was late when Bella entered the arena to find Billy working with a young filly. She sat on the railing and watched him for a few moments. She loved Billy so much and refused to consider the day he would no longer be around. She could see age catching up with him, but he would always be the strongest man she knew in her eyes.

He led the spirited horse over to where Bella sat. "She shows promise," he said and let Bella pet her face.

"Do you have a minute?" Bella asked.

"For you, little girl, always."

Her eyes filled with tears and she smiled at him. "Do you have any idea how much I love you and Sue?"

Billy looked at her with surprise and she saw tears fill his wrinkled eyes. "We think of you as our daughter, Bella."

"I need some fatherly advice," she admitted and he nodded for her to continue.

"I saw Edward's wife with another man. She admitted to me she is with Edward because he will make a good living as a doctor. She only laughed when I told her I would tell him, like she didn't care because he already knew or something."

"And you want to know if you should tell him?"

"No," she said and let her head drop. "I want to tell him I still love him and I want him to choose me."

Billy was silent so Bella added softly, "I miss him."

He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "Little girl, it isn't so easy when a family is involved. From what I can tell Edward's the only responsible parent those little girls have. I'm not sure he could walk away leaving them in that woman's care."

"He could get custody; I mean, she is cheating on him."

"I'm afraid most courts side with the mother. He'll be busy building his practice and the mother would be the one home with the kids. If he is the one to leave, his own fidelity would be called into question."

Bella dropped her face in her hands as she began to cry. It was foolish to think Edward could just walk away from Tanya when children were involved. Bella loved his girls and she had only known them for a few months. Edward would never be able to leave and Tanya had laughed in her face because she knew it, too.

Billy was uncomfortable with her tears and patted her knee awkwardly until she got control of her emotions. She climbed down from the railing and gave Billy a hug before heading back to the house.

Bella had done her best to move on with her life and keep herself busy so the void in her life wasn't so consuming, but it ate away at her. She had to admit she believed in her heart Edward would love her forever and that destiny meant for them to be together.

She was working on the hanging flower baskets when a truck pulled up in front of the gate. The sun was shining in her eyes and she couldn't make out the driver until he exited the vehicle. She grabbed her pruning shears and held them firmly in her grasp as Jimmy opened the gate and walked toward her.

He had a slight smile on his face and Bella wanted to lunge at him with the pointed metal in her hand. Her mouth was dry and she instantly began trying to remember where Billy was working this day.

"I only want to talk," Jimmy said and stopped at the foot of the steps.

"No, go away," Bella said and took a step back.

"Then let me just say my piece and I'll be gone," he said with a nod.

She noticed a difference in him, he had a fuller face and his clothes were clean and pressed. It wasn't enough to make her relax so she crossed her arms and waited for him to speak.

"I'm sober, going on three years, and I need to apologize to you. I really did you wrong, Bella. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know I'm sorry."

"Goodbye," she said quickly and hoped he would turn around and leave, instead he took a step onto the bottom stair.

"I know I deserve your hatred, and that look of fear on your face, I deserve that, too. I was young, Bella, and an alcoholic, it doesn't excuse what I did to you, but I'm sorry all the same. Can we just talk for a few minutes?"

"You expect me to relieve your conscience?"

"No, but I will listen to your side of the story. I'll let you tell me how it affected you and let you call me whatever names you want."

Bella felt her tears sting her eyes and she bit her lip and shook her head. "You took too much from me, Jimmy, more than you even realize. You cost me the man I love because I can't give him a child. Everything horrible about my life came from you. I don't want to talk to you; I can't stand to look at your face."

"You're right, I hurt you because I knew you would leave me, everyone in my life had left me, and I…"

"Stop right there," she demanded, "I refuse to listen to your childhood pain. I don't care, Jimmy. I honestly don't care."

"Can I ask why you married me in the first place?"

"I had freedom for the first time in my life, and I obviously didn't know how to handle it.

You were teenage rebellion and nothing more."

"When Billy beat the shit out of me in Boise, he said I took your spirit away. I honestly don't get that, because Bella, you were so afraid of everything when we met. It was like life was something you only looked at and you didn't live. Who was right?"

"I was eighteen; I knew nothing about life and trusted you to show me. Instead you put me in the darkness and trapped me there. "

As soon as the words left her mouth she thought of Edward. He had been only eighteen and trusted her to show him what love was. He was searching for understanding, not a relationship. She began thinking over that one night and wondered if she had given him what he needed. For the first time she was grateful she had let him go. She would hate to see him stuck in the darkness because of her selfishness to keep him as her own.

"Can you understand that I tried, Bella? My life was such a mess and I honestly thought my love for you would automatically make everything better. You looked at me with so much trust and I didn't have a clue how to be a man."

"Beating me senseless was never going to make you a man, Jimmy. It made you an animal."

He chuckled and let his head fall back. "You know, that was the part that took me the longest time to admit. I was so convinced it was your fault. I had been taught that by my father and giving up the alcohol was easy compared to admitting I was an abusive spouse."

"I've done my own therapy, too. I realize I was stupid to keep it quiet and accept the blame. I've come to terms with the fact I can't have children, but you hurt the most precious thing in my life and I can't forgive you for it."

"What's that?" he asked.

Bella only shook her head, refusing to let Jimmy see the pain of losing Edward, even if he was only hired help when it happened.

"I've got a good job now, and I am not only sober, but financially stable. I don't pretend to think we could ever work things out, but I would like to be your friend," he said and stared at her with a hopeful gaze.

"Did you send me roses on my birthday several years ago?"

Jimmy looked like he was trying to remember back and finally shrugged his shoulders, "I'm not sure."

It actually made her feel better that he was honest and didn't deny it outright. She felt her shoulders relax and she let her arms fall from the tight hold around her body. "Jimmy, why are you really here, what is it you hope to accomplish?"

He let his head fall and he took several moments before he finally spoke. He looked up, staring directly into her eyes and said, "I guess I'm lonely and I realize all the good things I lost."

She understood that statement due to her own loneliness and the one good thing she had lost. She walked over and sat on the railing so they wouldn't have to converse over such a distance. Jimmy leaned against the railing to make himself comfortable.

"Where are you living?" she asked him, praying he didn't say Forks.

"Port Angeles, I own several fishing boats I rent to deep sea crews."

She immediately wondered where he got the money to afford it, but she didn't ask him. Port Angeles was still too close for comfort and she didn't want to anger him for any reason so she only nodded.

"Are you running the ranch?" he asked and her defenses came front and center.

"No, Billy got it all, he just lets me live here."

She couldn't look at him as she spoke and hoped he didn't see or hear the deception she was speaking. Jimmy looked like he had changed, but she didn't trust him enough to give away vital information. They stood silently for a few moments before Jimmy asked, "I would love to take you to dinner and show you my boats."

"I don't think so," she said quickly.

"Come on, Bella. I'm dealing with a lot of guilt where you're concerned and I would like to take you to a nice dinner and let you see I mean you no harm."

"Jimmy, maybe you have changed, but I still see you as the man who beat me. It would sicken me to go to dinner with you."

They were interrupted by a car pulling up and both turned to see Edward step out of his car. Bella felt like her heart was going to explode. He didn't have his girls with him, so he was coming to see her, alone. She stood from the railing and felt her mouth pull into a hopeful smile.

18

Edward stopped at the gate before opening it and looked at Jimmy and then at Bella. Jimmy appeared to have no recollection of Edward, but it was obvious Edward remembered Jimmy.

"Are you okay?" he called out to Bella.

She nodded quickly and hoped Jimmy would excuse himself and leave. Instead Edward turned around and headed back to his car. "Edward," she yelled and ran past Jimmy to the gate. "Did you want something?"

She was pleading in her own heart for his answer to be he wanted her. That he had come over to profess his love and tell her everything was a mistake and he was hers.

"Um…did you happen to find a pair of Kelly's shoes?"

"No, I'll look around, what did they look like?" Bella asked as she tried not to cry. He didn't come to see her; he was sparing his daughter his wife's anger by finding the shoes for her.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," he said and quickly got in his car.

Bella turned back to see Jimmy standing quietly with his head down. She was humiliated by her display of hope in front of him. He was stronger emotionally now, and she was still so weak, wanting something she would never have. She walked past him and continued to the door to go inside.

"Bella," Jimmy said softly, "Just dinner, please."

She didn't turn to look at him, but said, "Fine, the country club, Saturday at five."

She had no idea why she had agreed to go, maybe she needed to feel wanted, or maybe she wanted to forget about Edward for just one night. Most likely she felt deep down she deserved Jimmy because if someone as wonderful as Edward had to live with Tanya, she would never do any better than James White.

Her appearance didn't matter and she dressed as simply as possible for the date. The flicker of hope she could ever have Edward was almost extinguished as she walked toward the table where Jimmy waited. She sat down and immediately lost her appetite. The thought of meeting Jimmy for dinner was repulsive and her need to run was overwhelming.

"Thank you for showing up," he said with a smile. "I doubted you actually would."

"I don't know why I'm here, and I'm regretting the decision to come," she admitted and he nodded like her understood.

"I won't bring up anything from the past, I promise," he offered and she wanted to scream at him. Did he really think she had forgotten even one moment of the past?

The waitress came and Jimmy ordered lemonade, but Bella only asked for water. It was awkward and she didn't put forth any effort to make it any less so.

"Are you seeing anyone?" he asked.

"I'm not answering that," she said angrily, but her heart ached that her answer would be no.

"I just hate the thought of you being alone, I hope you have someone to spend your time with," he said and took a drink of his lemonade.

They returned to the awkward silence until someone approached their table. Bella looked up, expecting to see the waitress but was shocked to see Elizabeth. She reached out for the woman's hand and couldn't stop herself from asking, "How are Kelly and Annie?"

"Good," Elizabeth answered with such sad eyes. "They sure miss you."

"I miss them, too."

"Tanya will get over her objection soon; I think she is jealous of your relationship with Edward."

Bella looked nervously at Jimmy and only nodded to Elizabeth.

"Was he the man looking for the shoes?" Jimmy asked and Bella felt nauseated.

"Tell Edward Kelly's shoes are not at my house, I looked," she said with a shaky voice.

"Her shoes?" Elizabeth said as if she had no idea what they were talking about.

"Maybe shoes were just an excuse," Jimmy said and Bella thought she detected a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"I babysat for them," she explained and hoped Elizabeth didn't add anything more.

"I'm Edward's mother, Elizabeth," she said and offered her hand to Jimmy.

"I'm Jimmy White, Bella's ex-husband," he returned and Bella took a deep breath causing them both to look at her.

"I'm sorry; I'm not feeling very well. I have to go," she said as she scooted from the booth and quickly left the room.

Jimmy came running after her, catching her as she reached the vehicle. She didn't want him to know what she drove and felt like things were quickly getting out of her control. He didn't grab her arm, and she was sure she would have screamed loudly if he had; he only said, "I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have introduced myself that way. I just didn't want her thinking we were on a romantic date."

"Exactly, this wasn't a date, right?" she asked in a panic.

"No, not a date; I only wanted to ease your mind where I was concerned, you know, in

case we run into each other."

"Okay, thanks. I'm not feeling well and I think I better head home," she said and he reached out to open her door.

She climbed in and gave him an attempt at a smile and he shut the door as he said, "Good evening, Bella."

He remained standing in the parking lot as she drove away. Bella looked into the rearview mirror at his smiling image and felt a tiny jolt of panic. She was glad she ended the evening and even more happy that Billy would be in town for the next couple of weeks.

Her depression was all consuming so she drew a bath and soaked in the hot water until all of her tears were cried out. She worked on the ranch books for a couple of hours and finally put in a movie as she lay in bed.

A loud pounding on the front door woke her up. She turned on the porch light before peaking through the glass and saw Elizabeth standing there. Bella glanced at the grandfather clock to see it was three twenty in the morning. She opened the door and saw the tears running down Elizabeth's face.

"What happened; is Edward okay?" Bella asked in a panic.

"I hate to impose, Bella, but can you watch the girls. Tanya has been in an accident."

"Is she okay?"

"No," Elizabeth said as more tears fell. "She didn't make it, I'm afraid."

Bella gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She had so many questions and wondered if Tanya had been with the man she saw her with in Port Angeles, but she didn't know how to bring it up.

"Does Edward know?" she finally asked.

"He's at the crash scene now, talking with officers."

"So the girls don't know?"

Elizabeth shook her head back and forth before Bella pulled her into her arms for a tight hug. "Don't worry about the girls; I can keep them for as long as needed."

They both carried them into the house and put them in Bella's bed. Elizabeth left and when Bella got back in bed Kelly scooted closer and mumbled, "I'm glad we got to come here."

"I'm glad you're here, too." Bella ran her fingers through the girls hair until she fell back to sleep. She hated the pain heading for them. She knew the pain of losing a parent and although Tanya was an awful mother it would still be a loss.

Her mind was so confused and she felt guilty for wanting Tanya out of Edward's life, but she also couldn't ignore the fact Edward would be free now. She didn't dare hope he would want to return to her. Something had made him choose Tanya and maybe he would look for another woman now, too.

As the morning sun rose Bella had finally decided she would only hope for a brother sister relationship with Edward, so she wouldn't be disappointed if he moved on. She would take any part of him he wanted to give and being Aunt Bella to Kelly and Annie would be something she would hate to miss out on.

The girls woke up and came running into the kitchen with big smiles on their faces. Bella leaned over to catch them in her arms gave them both a big hug. "Why did grandma bring us here?" Kelly asked.

Bella didn't feel it was her place to tell them about their mother so she changed the subject. "How about pancakes with whipped crème?"

"Yea," both girls yelled as they jumped up and down.

"And they will be in the shape of the first letter in your name," Bella added and the girls cheered louder.

Bella gathered the ingredients onto the counter and when the phone rang she took a deep breath. She answered to hear Edward on the other end of the line. "Hang on a minute," she said and put on some cartoons for the girls.

She came back to the phone and said, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Thanks," he said quickly and then got to the point of his call. "I'm taking Tanya's body to Arizona, where her family lives. Would it be too much to keep the girls for a couple of days?"

"You're not taking them?" Bella asked in confusion.

"No, there isn't going to be a funeral and an open casket isn't possible," he said and Bella felt sickened by the news.

"What should I tell the girls?" she asked and heard Edward sigh.

"Um…God, I can't tell them right now, I need to calm down first," he said and Bella didn't know if it was pain or anger he was talking about.

"Edward, do you want me to talk to them?"

"I can't ask you to do that," he said softly.

"Sure you can, it's me," she said back and heard him begin to cry. She wanted to rush to his side and hold him in her arms and take all the pain away, but she wasn't even sure what his pain was.

"Edward," she said as her own tears began to fall.

He finally cleared his throat and added, "If something comes up you can take the girls to my mom's, I just want to give her a break from all the drama, she isn't in the greatest health.

"They will be fine here, do what you need to do and rest assured they are being cared for."

"Bella," he said with new tears. "Thank you."

She kept the phone in her hand after he hung up feeling the sudden loss of just his voice. The sight of the two little girls sitting in front of the television made her heart ache all over again. She walked over to finish their pancakes before calling them to the table.

They chattered about the K and the A and giggled when Bella traced the letter with whipped crème. She waited for them to finish eating before leading them to the couch and letting them snuggled into her side.

"I want to tell you girls something and I want you to remember how much your daddy loves you and he will always take care of you."

"I love daddy," Kelly said. "He's nice to us."

"Yeah, mommy's mean," Annie added.

"You're mommy didn't want to be that way. She didn't learn how to be a good mommy and did the best she could. I want you girls to remember good things about her because something really bad happened to your mommy and she had to go back to heaven."

"Did she get drunk and drive the car?" Kelly asked and Bella cringed at the knowledge this sweet child had about her mother.

"I only know she was in a car accident. I don't know what made the car wreck. You're daddy took her to Arizona so her mommy and daddy could bury her."

Kelly looked at Annie and then leaned in to speak into Bella's ear with her hand covering her mouth. "I'm glad she went to heaven, she hurt us all the time and I didn't want her to be my mommy."

"She hurt you, how?"

Kelly let her head fall and Bella tightened her hold. "Honey, you are safe and nobody will ever hurt you again."

"She hit us with stuff, and one time she chocked Annie with her hands."

"Yeah," Annie said and put her little hands around her own throat to show Bella what Kelly meant.

"Did you tell your daddy?" she asked as she tried her best to keep her composure.

Both girls nodded and Kelly said, "He made us move here, so grandma would be home when he was at the hospital."

She noticed how both little girls never shed one tear for their mother and seemed relieved to hear she wouldn't be in their lives anymore. She worried that the kids had experienced their own version of Jimmy, being pushed down as their mother tried to break their spirits. Luckily, they had Edward to pull them back up.

Bella could not imagine what would make Edward stay with a woman like Tanya, if she was abusing the kids he could easily get custody. Edward came home to his mother, not Bella, and she felt it was very telling of his feelings for her.


	7. Chapter 19 thru 21

19

Bella made sure to give the girls extra special attention, pulling them into hugs and showering them with kisses. She knew Elizabeth was going to need help watching the girls so she began making rooms for them.

She let them pick out all the furniture as well as the decorations. Kelly loved the color purple and chose a simple white wrought iron bed. Annie loved the color yellow and chose a canopy with yellow bedding.

They were so excited to work on the rooms and Bella even allowed them to paint, but only in the closets. She got most of the work done as they slept at night and it kept her mind off of Edward.

Billy brought in the furniture and Bella made up the beds before they let each girl run to see the results of the rooms. They screamed and ran back and forth between each others rooms as Bella laughed and secretly wished they could stay with her forever.

It had been over four days and she still hadn't heard from Edward, so she called Elizabeth, after putting the girls to bed. She was running out the door for work, but told Bella Edward's plane had just landed and he should be home around midnight. Bella was sure he wouldn't come get the girls so late.

Her bed felt too empty with them in their own rooms and she couldn't get to sleep so she took a blanket and curled up on the porch swing to listen to the soft rain. She remembered as a child when her mother would rock on the swing and sing to her as she drifted off to sleep.

She hummed softly as she rocked and felt her heart skip a beat when Edward's car pulled in front of the rose covered fence. She stopped moving and watched as he walked toward the house, running his fingers through his hair.

He started up the stairs and froze when he saw Bella sitting on the swing. He looked so tired and her arms wanted to give him comfort. Instead she smiled softly as her head leaned to the side in anguish for him.

He sat his tall body on the top step, out of the rain, and leaned against the railing as he looked at her. His eyes saying what his mouth couldn't, he was worn out and wasn't sure how much more he could deal with.

"I'm so sorry," Bella said softly.

"I wanted her gone, I wanted her out of my life forever, I even wanted every memory of her erased from my mind, but I never wanted her dead," he confessed.

Bella remained quiet and waited for him to find the words he needed to explain. He let his head fall back against the rail and stared at Bella to gather strength.

"I left here so messed up," he began, "I worked my ass off to get through school as fast as possible to come back to you. I studied so hard to keep the memory of you from sending me running home. But my senior year I didn't have enough classes to keep my mind busy. I was haunted by your memory, so I found if I drank the weekends passed quickly. I was so arrogant that I felt I could handle the liquor."

Bella reached up to wipe the tears which were falling from her eyes. He hadn't forgotten her after all, but her memory hurt him, and that was hard to hear.

"Tanya was an ex-girlfriend of my roommates. I woke up with her in my bed after some really serious consumption of alcohol. I couldn't remember a thing, but she told me I had come on to her and told her I had wanted a relationship. I knew I would have only used those words if I had been hallucinating about you. I never called her after that night, but she came to me six weeks later and told me she was pregnant."

He finally moved his eyes away from Bella's and she wasn't sure if it was his pain he wanted to hide or keep himself from seeing hers.

"I knew I blew it and you would never want me now. I had to do the right thing and take care of my child. Tanya lied and told me she had been disowned and begged me to let her move in. I was honest up front and told her I didn't love her, but I would marry her to be with my child. I never thought she would agree," he said with a disgusted chuckle.

"I went into the marriage knowing a divorce would be eminent. Then Kelly was born," he said and his mouth pulled into a smile. "The second I held her in my arms I was gone, she owned me body and soul."

Bella smiled at his face and noticed how much his eyes lit up and the mention of his daughter.

"I got accepted to Northwestern for medical school and I took care of Kelly while Tanya worked nights at an assembly plant, or so I thought. She was an awful mother and I worried about Kelly's safety. I was looking into a divorce when Kelly got sick. I took her to the hospital and when they drew blood my world crashed in on me. There was no way Tanya and I could have a baby with that blood type."

Bella gasped loudly and covered her mouth.

"She was mine in my heart," he said as he hit his fist on his chest and his tears fell. "I held her, and fed her, and cared for her, I loved her and she was mine in my heart."

"Of course she was, Edward," Bella said knowing how much Kelly loved her daddy.

"Tanya didn't care, she said if I left she would marry Kelly's real father and take her from me. I lived in fear of coming home from school to find them gone. I decided to try and have a real marriage. I did everything I could to make Tanya happy but it was never enough and it was never the right things. She ended up pregnant again and this time I had DNA testing done at the beginning. Annie isn't mine, either."

"God, Edward," Bella cried, hurting for the sweet boy who deserved nothing but love.

"I was the only thing those two little girls had to keep them from living a life of hell. I lived it, but I couldn't let them do it. When I graduated I came here for my training so my mother could look after them. Tanya would hurt them, and I couldn't walk away and let it continue. I got a lawyer and he found out Tanya was a dancer, but it wasn't enough to take the girls away. A judge would see it as a way to pay for my medical school, something I had pressured her into doing. It was what she told her friends, anyway."

"I had a run in with Tanya before she died," Bella confessed and Edward looked at her with shock. "We actually had an argument in the ladies room."

"About what?" he asked.

"About me, still loving you," she said softly wanting to spare him anymore pain.

His eyes closed, spilling tears down his face, and he whispered. "Do you still, after hearing everything?"

"Edward, I waited faithfully. I will always love you and I love your daughters, too"

"What about Jimmy?" he asked hesitantly.

"He came by to show me he was sober and to tell me he wouldn't bother me. He lives in Port Angeles and wanted me to know."

Edward nodded and opened his tired eyes for a moment. "I was thinking about everything that has happened to us on my drive home. I think Kelly and Annie were meant for us, and this was the only way to find them and bring them home."

Bella let out a muffled sob as she tried so hard to control her emotions. She had seen so much of herself in Kelly and so much of Edward in Annie. His words made sense; she had felt love for them the moment she met them.

"Bella," Edward said with a pleading voice as his chin quivered, "I want to come home."

She jumped from the swing and rushed to where he sat on the step, falling into his open arms. He pulled her onto his lap and buried his face in her chest as he let everything he had been holding in over the years come rushing out.

Bella kissed his head as she held him tightly trying to savor the feeling of holding him once again. "Welcome home, Edward. Welcome home."

Once he calmed down he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. She wiped his tears and leaned in to kiss his lips. He moaned loudly and pulled her tighter into his arms. Bella was overwhelmed at the sensation of his body responding to hers. She felt like she couldn't get enough of him and prayed he was real and not a dream she was having.

"Let's go inside," she said, worrying she would begin to remove his clothing.

He let her up and stood before wrapping his arms around her from behind and walking together into the house. "Are the girls here?" he asked and Bella nodded and pulled him down the hallway. She opened the first door and Edward walked over to where Kelly lay sleeping. He got on his knees and ran his finger down her face.

"Daddy," she said with a sleepy voice

"Shhh, just sleep, princess," he said softly.

"Can we stay here?" she asked.

"Yes, baby, we can all stay here." He kissed her gently and stood to smile at Bella. She smiled back and nodded to the next room. Edward walked in to find Annie asleep in the canopy bed and chuckled. He walked over and kissed her as she continued to sleep soundly.

"I can't believe you did all this," he whispered and Bella shook her head to stop his compliments. "I've never loved you more," he added.

She took his hand and led him to her room and shut the door. Edward pulled her into his arms and kissed her in the way she remembered from so many years ago. She felt loved and safe and wanted to make him hers again.

They continued sharing soft kisses as they each undressed the other. Bella noticed how thin he was now and made a mental note to put some weight on him. Edward stared at her body with a reverent awe and when she led him to her bed he pulled her into his arms and asked, "Bella, will you marry me?"

"You didn't need to ask," she said, "Of course I will."

He lay her on the bed and let his body rest over hers as he stared into her eyes. There was nothing odd in his gaze, she saw what was there all along; he looked at her with nothing but love. "I love you, Bella," he vowed.

"I love you, Edward, forever."

They let their wanting, and needing, and love break free with the certainty of never leaving one another again. Edward had so much to offer her now and Bella could ask him to live here without diminishing his dreams. The most important thing was their love remained strong during the horrible trials they had faced for the past several years.

When Bella cried out, "You're mine.

Edward responded with, "I'm yours, forever."

They were sleeping peacefully when the little girls came running into the room and jumped onto the bed.

"Daddy," Annie laughed, "How did you get here?"

Edward tightened the covers over his nude body and chuckled nervously. "Why don't you girls go make your beds so your daddy can see your new rooms?" Bella said and both girls ran from the room.

Bella jumped up and grabbed a robe as she threw Edward his boxers. "Sorry, I'm not used to locking the door."

"Lock it now and come get back in bed," he laughed.

"They won't give up until you see their rooms, and act surprised," he instructed him.

He climbed out of bed and pulled on his jeans before heading down the hallway. Bella went into the kitchen and started some coffee before pulling out a selection of cereals. They all came into the kitchen laughing and looking so happy.

Kelly ran up to Bella and threw her arms around her, "I always wanted you for my mommy."

Bella looked at Edward with shock and he smiled. "I told the girls I love you and want us all to be a family."

"I think you two are the greatest little girls in the world and I would be honored to be your mommy," Bella said as tears filled her eyes.

"No crying," Edward said and pulled her into his arms to kiss her as the girls giggled and screamed.

They sat down to eat and Edward said, "I'm off for three more days. What should we do?"

"I want to ride a horse with you, daddy," Kelly said with hope and Bella laughed at Edward's expression.

"I want to swim with you," Annie said with a frown, thinking her sister would get her wish first.

"Bella, what do you want to do?" Edward asked with a slight smile.

"I want to do daddy," she said and winked at him.

"No, Bella, you're the mommy," Annie explained making them laugh.

"I know," Edward said, "Let's go to Port Angeles and get married."

"Yes," the girls screamed and Bella shook her head.

"No way, I want a wedding this time. I want the girls to be my flower girls and Jessica to be my matron of honor, with Billy walking me down the aisle."

"Why don't I get you a larger diamond and we drop the Jess idea."

Bella sighed in frustration, knowing Jessica and Edward were most likely never going to get along. She was feeling happier than she ever felt in her life, but something was…off. A nagging feeling remained in the back of her mind and she tried her best to ignore it.

20

Edward worked such long hours and would not be home for several days in a row. Bella did everything she could to make things easy and comfortable for him. The girls adapted quickly to their new family and seemed to blossom under Bella's watchful eye and constant love. She worried about how they would react to her discipline but they seemed to take her corrections in stride.

Jessica was helping Bella plan the wedding and the list of attendees was growing daily. It was going to be held in the arena with large sections of carpet to cover the dirt. They found the perfect princess gowns for Kelly and Annie, but Bella's dress was proving to be difficult.

The girls were asleep as Bella searched online for a dress style she liked when Edward walked in the back door. She looked up to see his beautiful, tired eyes smile at her. "You look exhausted," she said and rose to pull him into her arms.

"I'm fine," he said and kissed her neck. "God, it feels so incredible to walk through that door and find you waiting for me. I keep thinking I'm hallucinating."

"I'm real, and I will always be here waiting," she said and kissed him softly. "How are things at the hospital?"

"Good, did you call me today?"

"No, why?" she asked.

"Nothing, I got a page for a phone call, but when I answered the line it was dead. Maybe it was my mother," he said without much concern.

"Are you hungry?" she asked and tried to pull away but he tightened his arms and smiled.

"I'm ravenous," he said as he licked his lips.

"Anything I can do to ease your hunger?" she said as she pressed herself against him.

He placed his hands on her backside and pulled her tightly, adding the pressure he desired. "Yeah, you can do a lot," he sighed and closed his eyes.

She pulled his medical scrub over his head and tossed it on the counter. Just as she got hold of his underlying t-shirt Annie walked into the room rubbing her eyes. "Mommy, can I have a drink?" she asked.

Bella heard Edward groan as she pulled away and got a small glass from the cupboard. She handed the water to Annie and when she ran her hand through the child's hair she gasped and looked at Edward. "She's burning up," Bella said with shock.

Edward walked over and picked her up to set her on the counter. Let me see your throat sweetheart. Annie opened her mouth wide and Edward felt her neck, causing her to cry out when he pressed just under her ear.

"Have you been swimming?" he asked her.

Bella chuckled and said, "Do you even need to ask?"

"I'll write her a prescription for an antibiotic, she only has an ear infection," Edward said and kissed her forehead.

Bella opened a cupboard and pulled out some pain relieving liquid. "I don't like that stuff," Annie protested.

"It's okay, Bella, I'll just give her a shot," Edward said and Annie quickly opened her mouth for the medicine.

"I'll go get her prescription before the pharmacy closes," Bella said to Edward. "You get showered and changed."

"I guess I'll be sleeping hungry tonight," he said as he let his finger tap the end of Annie's nose.

"I'll make you a huge breakfast," Bella said with a wink.

"Pancakes?" Annie asked.

"Whatever daddy wants," Bella answered.

Edward walked over to where Bella waited for the prescription. He wrote quickly on two separate pages and tore them off the pad to hand them to her. She saw one was for Annie's antibiotic and the other was her. It read: Hurry home and fuck your husband senseless.

Bella looked up at him and whispered, "You're not my husband, yet."

She meant for it to sound teasing but Edward's smile fell and he took hold of her wrist and pulled her into his arms. "We're a family, Miami, and a piece of paper won't make it any more real. I've loved you since I was thirteen and the dress isn't going to make any difference to me."

Bella suddenly felt foolish for stressing over finding the perfect dress. It was not about the dress or the wedding; it was about standing up in front of the entire town and vowing to love Edward forever. It was about taking care of the sick little girl and making sure she was healthy and happy, and helping Edward fulfill his dream of being a doctor, anyway she could. For Edward it was about finally having the only woman he had loved forever as his.

"I'll be back, to thank you properly for what you just said. I love you," she said as tears threatened to fill her eyes. She kissed him quickly and headed out the door as he picked up Annie to place her in their bed.

Bella pulled out of the large gate and saw a car parked along the side of the road quickly take off without turning on its lights. Her heart sped up and she turned in that direction to shine her lights along the road to see if anyone lurked in the darkness.

She decided it was most likely kids making out and headed to the pharmacy. There was an uneasy feeling she couldn't quite shake and wondered if it was Annie being sick or the phantom car spooking her.

She walked up to the drop off window and handed the pharmacist the script as she searched her purse for the insurance card Edward had given her earlier.

"I'm sorry, but I can't fill this," the man said and handed it back to Bella.

"Why?" Bella said angrily, dreading Annie having to wait even one night for the medicine.

"You are going to have to fuck your own husband," he said as he tried to keep a straight face.

Bella gasped and grabbed the paper from his hand as her entire body turned bright red.

"I'm sorry, I handed you the wrong…I mean, it was a joke, oh God," she finally settled with and handed him the right slip of paper.

The man walked away as he laughed loudly and Bella was going to thrash Edward when she got home. She walked around the store as she waited, looking at various items and purchased Annie a little plastic mermaid to make her feel better. After paying for the medicine, and apologizing yet again to the laughing pharmacist, she hurried out to her car.

She saw all four tires had been slashed and she quickly ran back inside the store. She pulled out her cell phone and called Edward. Her hands were shaking and she was finding it difficult to speak. When he answered the phone she began to cry from relief. "Edward lock the gate and turn on the alarms," she said in a panic.

"What's wrong," he asked and she could tell he was a bit panicked.

"My tires have been slashed. When I left, a car was parked by the house and took off without any lights. And then your phone call today, oh God, Edward, are the girls safe?"

"Calm down, I'll be right there," he said and Bella quickly objected.

"Stay with the girls, don't leave them," she insisted. "I'm calling the police."

"Keep me informed," he said, "I'll lock up everything."

It took fifteen minutes for the police to arrive and they felt it was only kids messing around. They had several cars vandalized in recent days and tried to assure her she was not targeted, but a victim of availability. A tow truck was sent for her vehicle and she arrived home over an hour after she had left the house.

Annie was asleep, but Edward was waiting up for Bella. He came outside to see the tires slashed and shook his head, "I'll take tomorrow off and get new tires put on."

"No, I'll do it, you need to be at work," Bella told him and wrapped her arms around him, feeling instantly better.

He led her into the house and reset the alarms before she buried her face in his chest. He held her tightly as he rocked her back and forth. "I'm sure it's nothing," he whispered against her hair and she nodded in agreement.

"I'll move Annie and then you can sleep in my arms," he said but Bella held him to his spot.

"Do you know Carl Linder?" she asked with her head still down.

"Yes, he works at the hospital pharmacy two nights a week, why?"

"He filled Annie's script," Bella answered.

"And?" Edward asked, not following where the conversation was going.

"I accidently handed him mine," she said and waited nervously.

"Your what?"

"My prescription you wrote for me."

"I didn't….Oh shit," he laughed loudly and Bella turned red again.

"You realize we have to move, right?" she said as she placed her hands to cover her face.

He laughed louder and used his hands to pull hers away so he could see her face. "I'm your doctor; you shouldn't be ashamed to talk frankly with me. I'm only concerned about your health and feel my treatment plan is what is in your best interest."

"And like a true medical professional, I am sure the fact you benefit from my said treatment plan was a pretty big motivator."

"I'm not going to bill you," he said as he laughed ever harder.

"You should have married Jessica," Bella said to take a jab at him.

"I'm turning off the alarms," he said as he pulled away from her and Bella quickly grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry," she laughed. "Go move Annie, so I can take my medicine."

Edward ran quickly as Bella laughed behind him. He picked up Annie and took her into the kitchen to give her a dose of medicine before putting her back in her own rom. He sat on the edge of the canopy bed and gently rubbed her back until she fell back asleep.

Bella was lying under the covers and when he finally made it back into the room she scooted over and held the blanket open for him to climb in. He saw her nude body and moaned loudly before turning around and locking the door.

He got into the bed and she quickly climbed over to straddle him before he had a chance to remove his pajama bottoms. "Your body is so beautiful," he sighed and ran his hands over her flesh. Bella took hold of both of his wrists and pulled them over his head.

"You embarrassed me tonight, Edward. I'm going to have to punish you," she said with a sultry voice and he let out a nervous laugh.

"This is new," he said with a whisper and she leaned over to bite his lip, causing him to inhale sharply.

"Don't speak," she demanded.

He nodded and took hold of his left wrist with his right hand, keeping it over his head. Bella surprised herself with the ease at which she completely lost her inhibitions with him. She loved him so much and didn't doubt his love for her, giving her confidence to act out her fantasies. Her only worry was if his loud affirmations to God, and her body, would wake up the girls.

She finally collapsed next to him as he struggled to catch his breath. His body was sweating lightly and his eyes were wide with shock. He looked at her face with his crystal eyes as his chest heaved up and down. "Oh my God, you are mine forever," he said with astonishment.

"I just followed my doctor's order, that's all," she said with a sly smile.

He looked up at the ceiling and shook his head lightly back and forth, "You seriously just fucked me senseless."

21

Bella could not imagine life getting any better than it was at this moment. Their separation seemed like another lifetime and she kept waiting for the moment when doubt or life's pressures would add stress to their perfect existence, but for now everything was perfect.

They decided on Labor Day weekend for the wedding and took a family picture for the announcements. Bella found a dress at a department store and even Jessica thought it looked good.

When she took the girls to the elementary school to register Kelly for first grade, she showed them the picture of her mother that hung in the hallway. She stared at her smiling photograph and whispered, "I found the perfect man, mom, and he made me a mother."

Annie was signed up for preschool and insisted on having her own backpack covered in dolphins. Kelly announced that since she was a first grader she didn't want a 'baby' backpack and found a plain purple one.

They shopped for school clothes and new shoes and when Bella led them to the car, holding their hands in hers as they walked, she was beaming with pride. She was filled with excitement for them, knowing the journey they were beginning would lead them to friendships, great memories, and first loves.

When they got home all three girls, including Bella, shrieked with excitement to see Edward was home. They were gathering their packages when he opened the door to watch them. "Did you leave anything left in the store?" he asked and Bella smiled at the memory of her father using that same line.

They entered the house to find Billy sitting at the table. "Grandpa, I got yellow shoes," Annie said as she ran to his side.

"Well, well, what will they think of next. Shoes are supposed to cover your feet, not make you look like you stepped in horse piss."

Both girls laughed loudly and Edward said, "Kells Bells and My Annie, take your stuff into your room." Bella looked at him with wide eyes realizing she had been in his thoughts when she was sure he had completely forgotten her. Edward looked a bit embarrassed by the fact Bella saw through his girl's nicknames so she walked over and hugged him tightly.

"What's up, Billy?" she asked and he stood to leave.

"Just talking to Edward, nothing you women need to worry about," he said as he headed out the door.

"Is something wrong?" Bella asked Edward with concern.

He smiled and shook his head, "It's a good thing, I promise."

"But you're not going to tell me, right?"

"Right," he laughed. "But I will tell you my sisters are coming to the wedding. Then my mom will head to Seattle to stay with them for a bit. She's going to fully retire, finally. I think my girls were hard on her."

Bella looked at him for a moment and asked, "Why didn't you bring them to me, I would have helped you?"

"How could I, Bella? Tanya knew I was in love with you and she threatened me often with taking them away."

"Was she drinking? I mean, the accident," she finally asked.

"I don't know, I didn't have an autopsy done. She was badly mangled; you don't want to hear the details, love."

Annie came walking into the room with the outfit she decided she would wear on the first day of preschool. She had on a little plaid skirt over her stripped swimsuit with her new yellow shoes. "Oh my," Bella laughed and walked over to pick her up into her arms and take her back to her room for another try.

Jessica walked in yelling for Bella. She saw Edward and sneered. "I hope you got your tux rented."

"No, I didn't. I bought one since I will need it for the hospital galas," he said smugly.

"Did you have Bella approve it?" she asked as she folded her arms.

"Approve it?" he asked hatefully.

"Yeah, you know, make sure you didn't screw it up."

"I handled medical school; I think I can pick out a tux. Did you find a litter of Dalmatians to make your coat?"

"Disney reference, how Edward of you," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"Are you still married to the ugly blind guy?" he asked and tried not to laugh.

"He isn't blind," she said angrily.

"Wow, shocking," Edward retorted and Bella walked into the room so they both quickly shut their mouths.

"I got a band, what song do you guys want to dance to? I assume, Hot for Teacher, or, Smells like Teen Spirit?"

"Jessica," Bella said with a warning tone. "I don't know, what do you think, Edward?"

He thought for a moment and then smiled widely, "Faithfully, by Journey."

"That's perfect," Bella smiled and Jessica rolled her eyes.

"So, where is Edward going to stay for the next three days?" Jessica asked.

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"He can't sleep with you until after the wedding, so it will be exciting and intense on the wedding night," she answered as if Bella was so clueless.

Bella looked at Edward and they both smiled at each other knowingly. They automatically took steps in the other's direction as if being drawn together by a magnet.

"I don't think it will be a problem," Bella giggled and Jessica stood in disgust.

"God, how can you possibly have sex with him," she mumbled and slammed the door on her way out.

"I want her photo shopped out of all the wedding pictures," Edward said seriously.

The next morning delivery trucks began to arrive and the arena started its transformation. Billy watched everything that was done as he complained about messing with his work schedule. The light yellow and purple gave the space a soft intimate feel.

A constant stream of people came and went until everything was finished and ready for the big day. Bella dressed in her room and Edward dressed at Billy's. Sue came into the room wearing a beautiful cream colored dress. Bella couldn't ever remember Sue wearing a dress the entire time she knew her.

"Wow, you look gorgeous," Bella exclaimed.

"Nonsense today is about the bride," she said and hugged Bella before handing her some tissue.

"I'm not crying," Bella said with a smile and Sue chuckled as she opened the door and let Kelly and Annie into the room.

They were in their purple and yellow gowns, holding a white basket of flower petals, with their hair curled onto their head. Bella's eyes filled with tears and she had to work quickly and furiously to keep them from spilling over and ruining her makeup.

"Can I wear this to preschool?" Annie asked.

"It is only for weddings," Kelly pointed out and Annie frowned, just like Edward did when Bella first met him.

"You two are the prettiest little girls in the world," Bella said and gave them both a hug.

Jessica came running into the room and gasped when she looked at Bella wearing only a slip. "Get ready, you only have five minutes."

"I only have to slip on my gown. Is Edward ready?" Bella asked.

"Yes, and he got the tux right," Jessica said as if it angered her.

"Okay, help me put on my gown," Bella said and the women placed the strapless dress on her body and laced it tightly up the back.

"You look like and angel," Sue said and kissed her cheek softly.

"Don't make me cry," Bella insisted and when the door opened Billy was waiting dressed in a western suit and shiny black boots.

He took Bella's hands and said with a very tight voice, "I feel Charlie with me. He leads my footsteps today."

"I love you, Billy. I never could have made it all these years without you and Sue to help me. Charlie was so lucky to have you as his friend."

"Let's go get you married to the kid with the freaky eyes," he said as he held out his arm, making Bella laugh.

The wedding party lined up in front of the arena and the wedding music began to play. Edward waited in the middle of the decorated ring with Emmett and Jasper by his side. Sue walked in first holding a small bouquet of flowers, followed by Jessica. Kelly and Annie walked in together and a loud sigh could be heard by the full crowd.

Bella walked through the door on Billy's arm and Edward took a step toward her, having to be pulled back by Jasper. She walked slowly down the white carpet as she stared directly into Edward's translucent eyes.

It was actually happening and both of them felt such a relief. He would never have to watch her clandestinely, hoping she wouldn't see his thoughts in his face. She would finally have not only love, but love from the greatest man she could ever hope for.

They joined hands and only remembered the years filled with shared moments. Jimmy and Tanya didn't exist anymore; it was only Edward and Bella, parents of two precious souls.

When they were announced man and wife Edward pulled her back and to the side. She looked at him with confusion and he nodded back to the altar. "Surprise," he said with a smile.

Billy and Sue stepped up to the minister as Bella gasped loudly. She was unable to contain her tears as she watched them wed, knowing finally Sue had let go of her demons and kicked his ass out of her head.

The crowd cheered loudly as both couples kissed passionately. Bella was grateful she didn't have to watch Sue and Billy kissing and took advantage of having Edward in her arms.

They all hugged and people were invited down to the arena floor for a dinner. Bella and Edward made the rounds to accept congratulations as the band played energetically. The girls were meeting new people and announcing proudly Bella was now their mother.

When a woman who looked vaguely familiar walked up to them and offered a very forced congratulations Edward tensed. "Thank you, Victoria," he said and moved on to the next table.

"That was Victoria?" Bella asked in shock. "Wow, I feel great now, I look years younger than her."

"Does it ever bother you, my age?" he asked and she wondered why he would ask now, it was a bit too late to worry if age was an issue.

"No, we'll die together now," Bella laughed.

The band announced the first dance so they headed to the dance floor and held each other without moving very much at all. Toward the end of the song Edward held his hand out for his girls and they joined the couple as they all swayed to the music.

The next song was for Billy and Sue so they moved to a table to eat a little bit of the food they were paying so dearly for. Jessica was ecstatic that the crowd seemed to linger and the dance area was constantly crowded.

As the night wore on several people took to the microphone to make toasts to the couples. Billy seemed nervous as he looked at Bella and Edward and said, "I think of you as my own children and hearing the girls call me grandpa, well, it is pretty damn nice." He then turned to Sue and said, "I was determined to remain a bachelor for my entire life until the day I met you, it took me over twenty five years to convince you, but I did it."

Sue grabbed the microphone from his hand and announced, "He didn't do anything; Bella convinced me. I saw how hard she worked to get past her issues and figured I better catch up. You are my portion of spotted dick, old man."

Billy looked confused so Bella leaned over to tell him it was the name of a pudding dish in England. "I thought she was giving me a spirit guide name," he teased and Sue pulled him into a big kiss.

When Jessica took the stand Edward tensed and looked down at his feet so Bella nudged him in the ribs. Jessica smiled at Bella and said with tears forming, "You are my best friend. You always stood by me, no matter what. I know most people in town put up with me just because you found something likeable about me, thank you."

Bella wiped away her own tears as Jess continued. "I wish you nothing but happiness, because you deserve it. I look forward to the many memories we have yet to make."

Bella stepped forward and hugged her tightly. When they finally parted Jessica said, "Oh and Edward, yeah, I like how many hours you work."

"Jessica," Bella said in anger, but actually felt it was much softer than what she was expecting Jessica to say.

Several people spoke to Sue and Billy before Kelly took the microphone and spoke very softly. "Daddy, I love you and you got the best mommy in the world for me and Annie."

Edward's tears instantly began to fall and he held his arms open for Kelly to rush into them. He kissed her head and thanked her for the kind words. Annie decided to give it a try, not fully understanding the concept of toasting the couple. She took the microphone and put it right against her mouth, speaking so loudly Kelly had to cover her ears and said, "Can I go swimming?"

The crowd fell into laughter and Edward reached over and relieved her of the squealing microphone. He went to speak and had to let his hand fall for a minute as he composed himself. When he finally spoke he looked at Bella with his amazing eyes and smiled. "How do I find a way to say what I feel in my heart in only a few short sentences?"

Bella smiled and felt her own heart beating wildly as she looked into Edward's loving gaze.

"You had on a pair of khaki shorts with a white t-shirt the day I first set eyes on you. You were wearing a blue pair of sweat pants with a tank top the moment I knew I was in love with you. You had on a pair of boxers and a grey shirt the first time I made love to you, and you were wearing a red and white nightgown the night I asked you to marry me.

Bella was stunned to hear his words. She couldn't believe how much he paid attention to everything about her and it made her love him that much more. If he would have come to her as a grown man wanting a relationship she would have sent him away. She needed to heal and build trust and it worked out perfectly that they grew together slowly over the years.

It was too painful to remember the years without him, but she had two little girls to love and everything she went through was now worth it.

Edward finished by saying, "Bella, I will love you forever and I can swear to you, we will never be separated again."

They kissed as the crowd cheered and then Bella took the microphone. "I used to look into your eyes and see something I didn't understand. I didn't know what love looked like and I didn't recognize it when it was looking right at me. All I knew was life was so much better when you were around. You taught me about love on a rainy night and made me yours forever. I waited for you, faithfully, and you came back, bringing even more love with you. You made me a mother, Edward. I can't ever repay you for…"

She was unable to continue as she sobbed loudly and Edward pulled her into his arms and let her cry into his tux. The band began playing again and people slowly started filtering out. The crowd was thin as the decorators began breaking down the tables and food stations.

Bella changed into some jeans and a sweatshirt while Edward removed his entire tux except his pants and a t-shirt to help Billy put the arena back in order. The girls were running around playing as Sue and Bella talked together. Edward walked past Bella and suddenly stopped with wide eyes.

"What?" Bella asked his stunned face.

He dropped what he was holding and spun about to look around the stands of the arena and then back at Bella's chest.

"What?" she asked again and looked down to see a red tracer from a gun shining right over her heart.

Edward grabbed her arm and pulled her behind his body as he searched for who was placing a target on his wife.


	8. Chapter 22 thru 24

22

Bella's heart was racing and her entire body was shaking as her eyes searched for the little girls who had been chasing each other in the stands a few moments ago. A loud scream broke out and the man Bella knew as Laurent stepped out into the open with Kelly in his grasp.

Edward took a step toward that side of the stadium and the red dot appeared between Bella's eyes, forcing him to return to his original spot. "Let her go," he screamed up to the man.

Bella's eyes were looking for Annie, she was sure Jimmy had her and it caused her to fear the Annie the most.

Another cry could be heard from the opposite side and this time Edward gasped loudly when Tanya stepped out holding Annie by the hair. He was reeling with confusion and felt his body becoming paralyzed with the sudden explosion of adrenaline.

Jimmy was the last person to step into the open, holding a high powered rifle aimed right at Bella. The girls were crying loudly and everyone was standing still, too afraid to move.

"Will you please join me up here, Bella," Jimmy said with a laugh.

Edward's grasp on her arm tightened and he said adamantly, "Don't,"

Bella was shaking and having trouble breathing as she looked at the terrified little girls.

"You get your kids or your wife, Eddie boy, not both," Jimmy told him and Tanya quickly spoke up.

"I'm his wife, so actually you get your whore or my kids," she corrected.

"You hurt those girls and I will kill you myself," Edward screamed at her. He was panting with anger and his entire body was tense, but Bella could still feel it, his acknowledgement that Jimmy could do whatever he wanted and there wasn't anything Edward could do to stop it.

"You know what," Jimmy said with a smile, "I don't think I like your attitude so I'm going to take them both. Bella, come on."

"Jimmy, you don't want to do this, we can work it out," Bella said with a panic. Deep inside she knew Jimmy was not looking for a conversation or any suitable compromise, he would want her blood and nothing else would do.

"Laurent," Jimmy yelled, "Send the kid to me."

"No," Edward screamed. "Don't you touch her."

"Daddy," Kelly screamed and Laurent pushed her toward Jimmy.

"I have to go," Bella said softly to Edward. "I can't let him hurt the girls."

Edward was panicked and he wasn't sure who to focus on. Bella finally held his face in her hands and said softly. "I love you, and you fill me with courage. I'll come back, okay. Wait for me, faithfully, okay?"

"Bella, I can't go on if I lose you, I can't," he said in fear.

"Shhh, take care of the girls and wait for me, I know how to handle Jimmy."

"He'll hurt you," Edward said in such anguish she worried about his mental health.

"I love you," she said and stepped away from him. He automatically reached out to pull her back to him but she moved from his reach.

"Let them go, Jimmy, and I'll come with you," Bella called out to him.

"Everyone else, get in the middle of the arena," Jimmy yelled and the small crowd of people walked quickly to the middle to huddle in fear.

Jimmy handed the crying Kelly to Tanya as he put the tracer back onto Bella's body. "Walk outside to the black car," he told her and she followed his instructions.

Laurent got into the driver's seat and Jimmy sat next to him, keeping the gun pointed on Bella. She climbed into the car and Tanya pushed the girls in also, before climbing in herself.

"You said you would let them go," Bella screamed at Jimmy. Annie climbed onto Bella's lap and Kelly glued herself to Bella side.

"I would, Tanya wouldn't," he laughed as Laurent backed up quickly to turn the car around. Just as he stopped to put the vehicle into drive Bella's door flew open and Jessica grabbed Annie by the arm pulling her quickly from the car.

Bella was ready to jump, but Tanya grabbed Kelly by the hair, holding her firmly in place. Bella hesitated, just enough to lose her opportunity. Jimmy spun around with his rifle and shot as Laurent sped away.

Bella saw Jessica fall and screamed loudly, mentally begging her to get up, but both Jessica and Annie were lying perfectly still as the car sped away.

"Damn you, Jimmy," Bella began to scream as she pounded on his head and back. He let his hand fly, connecting with her jaw, sending her head into the side window. It felt familiar, as if she was back in Texas and too afraid to tell anyone what was happening to her.

She slid down further in the seat and Kelly fell sobbing against her side. Bella was too stunned to respond and offer any comfort to the terrified child. She sat perfectly still and stared at the seat in front of her.

"My plan would have been easier," Tanya yelled at Jimmy.

"She wouldn't come see the boat," he yelled back, "And that asshole husband of yours showed up, he saw me with her."

"One kid is enough, just kill her," Tanya instructed him.

"The kid may not be enough for Billy, we need Bella," he said and then turned to look directly at Bella, "At least for a bit longer."

They pulled onto a side road where another car was waiting. Tanya grabbed Kelly by the hair again to pull her from the car. Bella quickly followed, vowing not to leave Kelly's side.

Jimmy opened the trunk and got a rope to place around Kelly's neck. "Just a little precaution," he said and handed Tanya the other end.

Laurent took off in the first vehicle and the rest travelled in the new one to a small dock. Bella felt a sense of defeat, if they were taken out to sea Edward would never find her. She also wished she had Annie with her instead of Kelly, Annie could swim in any depth of water, but Kelly wasn't nearly as proficient.

They were dragged onto a boat and taken below deck and locked in a room. Bella began looking around for anything they could use as a weapon. She noticed Kelly's shoes with their small heel.

"Give me your shoes, sweetheart," she said and shoved the heel under the door as a wedge. They were not only locked in, but now Jimmy and Tanya were locked out.

"Kelly, I need you to prepare for the possibility of having to swim," Bella said with a confident voice.

Kelly's eyes grew wide and she shook her head back and forth, "I can't, not in the ocean."

"We will look for the rescue ring, okay. If we jump, you can jump with the ring and use it to hold onto and float."

"What if there isn't a ring?" Kelly asked with tears.

"Then you'll hold onto my back and we'll swim together, okay?"

"I want daddy," Kelly cried loudly and Bella pulled her into her arms.

"I want him, too," she admitted.

Edward saw Jessica go down into the dirt with Annie in her arms. He ran to them expecting to see the worst, but heard Jessica telling Annie to stay still. He grabbed his daughter who had lost her bladder control from fear and held her tightly as they both cried.

"Edward," Jessica said with a soft voice, "I'm hit."

He looked at her with shock to see blood soaking through her dress. His training kicked in and he rushed over to her and grabbed the material of her gown, ripping it from her body. The bullet had entered her side from the back and he hoped it went straight through.

"You stay awake and talk to me," Edward yelled at her. "I'm not about to give you CPR."

She chuckled and said, "You would probably just try to tongue me anyway."

Jessica's husband ran up with a blanket and placed it over Jessica before kneeling at her side to hold her hand. "Will she be okay?" Glen asked.

"She was never okay," Edward said as he winked at Jessica.

"I saved your daughter," she said and then cried out in pain when Edward put pressure against the wound.

"Yeah, and now I have to like you, it really pisses me off," he said to keep her alert and talking.

"Come on, Edward, you always liked me," she said and closed her eyes.

"Jessica, stay with me. I'll strip you naked if you go to sleep on me," he threatened and she smiled.

"Everyone in this town has seen me naked."

"Not with lights on," Edward said and she frowned but opened her eyes.

"You really are a little shit, Edward."

"Stop talking dirty to me in front of your husband."

The ambulance pulled into the long driveway and when the paramedics rushed over Edward pulled his bloody hands away so they could take over. He stood and watched them start a fluid line and place Jessica on a gurney before taking her away.

He slowly felt his knees give out and he sunk onto the ground as the realization of losing his daughter and Bella sank in. He stood there helplessly as his family was ripped apart and the guilt was almost too much to carry.

The police officers descended on Edward and began asking questions. He had no information to give them. He was sure Tanya and Jimmy would ask for ransom, it was money they would be after. He tried to keep himself from imagining what Jimmy would do to Bella when he had her alone, he couldn't let himself imagine.

Billy was standing quietly off to the side and Edward had a strange feeling that he had a plan he wasn't sharing.

The boat chugged out to sea and Bella tried to pay attention to the direction they were heading. She thought they had turned south which would send them past La Push. She hoped Jimmy would stay close to the shoreline so she would have lights or something to swim toward.

She looked down at the princess gown Kelly was wearing and quickly began tearing off the full skirt. "We need to make it where you can run, honey," Bella said, leaving out the idea of swimming.

Bella removed her own shoes and tied them by the laces around her neck. She pulled the long ribbon from Kelly's dress and tied it over one shoulder and under the opposite arm on the girl so she had a way to pull her if she panicked or let go of Bella.

Then they both crawled onto the bed and rested as they waited. Waiting was always the worst part for Bella. Jimmy never got right to it when he was angry, he would make her wait, never knowing when his rage was coming, but knowing for sure it would.

"I need to pee," Kelly said so Bella opened the small door where a toilet and shower were hidden. A tiny round window was at the very top of the wall. Bella opened it slowly, trying not to make any noise and realized they were at the back of the boat.

"Kelly, grab the bottom of your dress and hand it to me," Bella said and the girl brought the wad of purple material to her. Bella tore it into large strips and toss it out the window and into the surf.

After Kelly used the bathroom Bella opened the window again to see if she could hear anything. It sounded like Jimmy and Tanya were arguing, but she couldn't make out any words.

They returned to the bed and a few minutes later the door attempted to open. Kelly began to cry and Bella held onto her tightly. Jimmy kicked at the door and yelled for Bella to open it.

"Shoot it open," Tanya told him.

"I can't, it's the only room with an outside lock."

"Fine, let them rot in there, they can go down with the boat," Tanya yelled and walked back up the steps.

"Pour me some whiskey," Jimmy said as he followed her.

Bella knew she had less than an hour to come up with a plan. If Jimmy got wasted, he wouldn't think twice about using the gun to get into the room. He also knew she would be either raped or beaten.

She began pacing the room as she thought and finally walked over and tried the door. She was right; Jimmy didn't relock it when he left. It opened slowly with a soft creak and Bella froze to hear if anyone was coming.

She motioned for Kelly to join her and said, "If he catches me, run back to this room and put the shoe back in place, okay?" Kelly nodded but her entire body was shaking.

They tiptoed up the stairs and listened for the sound of either Jimmy or Tanya. She could hear them talking and it sounded like it was coming from somewhere in front of them. Bella stepped one foot onto the deck and crouched down to look around. She could see the back of Jimmy's head so she motioned for Kelly to stay low and follow her.

They made their way to the back of the boat and Bella quietly took the rescue ring off the hook and handed it to Kelly. She turned to leave and her eyes caught sight of a vinyl square containing a self expanding raft. She quickly dragged it along the ground behind her as they headed to the small ladder off the side of the boat.

"I'll be right behind you, sweetheart," Bella whispered.

"No, I can't," Kelly said with tears.

"Kelly," Bella said harshly. "Do you want to die? Jimmy plans on killing us, you have to be strong honey; your Daddy needs you to be strong."

She climbed hesitantly over the side and took two steps before stopping. Bella followed and passed her on the side before putting her arm around her waist and pulling them both into the cold, dark ocean.

Kelly cried out and Bella quickly covered her mouth as they clung to the floating ring.

The cold water stung her flesh and she worried about Kelly being able to keep her body heat once they got into the raft. The boat continued on without slowing or turning. Bella finally pulled the cord on the raft and it shot out as it quickly filled with air.

Kelly was helped in first and then Bella struggled as she climbed in. She was breathing heavily and shaking beyond control when she fell into the raft. Kelly hurried to her side and then lay together under the moonlight crying loudly.

23

The night wore on and there was nothing but blackness as the small raft bounced and floated. Kelly eventually stopped shivering as they huddled together and fell asleep. Bella prayed they wouldn't be pulled further out to sea and help would find them as soon as the sun rose.

Edward was close to his breaking point. People were coming and going, offering assistance and comfort. He was even told if Tanya faked her death his marriage to Bella would be valid and his marriage to Tanya would be ended by appearing in front of a judge.

It gave him little comfort since he didn't believe Jimmy would ever let her go alive. By the time the sun began to rise a group of men from the reservations showed up to see Billy. Edward noticed something in the leader's hand. It was purple and looked like Kelly's dress.

"Where did you get that?" he asked with hope.

"It washed up on first beach. Do you know where it came from?"

"It is a piece of the dress my daughter was wearing," Edward said as he held the material to his cheek.

"He's on a boat," Billy said and quickly pulled up some navigational charts on the computer.

Sam showed him where they found the dress and everyone began using cell phones to call for help. The coast guard was called in to search further from shore as the local fisherman volunteered to search the coast.

Edward felt a small amount of hope begin to build. He had to believe Bella was okay and protecting Kelly, or his life held no meaning. Annie woke up and made her way quickly to Edward's lap. He hugged her tightly and inhaled her scent as he closed his eyes.

"Daddy loves you, my Annie," he said softly.

"Are Mommy and Kelly coming home?" she asked.

"I hope so, very soon," he told her.

"I don't want our old mommy to keep her," she said with a sad voice.

"We have a lot of people searching for them."

Annie snuggled against Edward's chest and said, "You're such a good Daddy."

He didn't feel like a good father. He felt like he had let his family down when they needed him the most. He should have seen something building and not dismissed Bella's concerns so quickly.

Of course Tanya could fake her death in Forks; a town so small would never insist on an autopsy when her purse and ID were in the car. Edward had fallen for her tricks three times now, he was wondering when he would ever learn.

Someone called Sam to tell him three more pieces of material had been found and the boat seemed to be moving steadily south. Edward closed his eyes and prayed only the pieces of dress would be found and not pieces of his daughter.

When the sun woke Bella she sat up and gasped to see there was nothing but water as far as she could see. There wasn't a sign of land anywhere. She looked at Kelly as she slept and knew they needed water and shade if they were going to last any amount of time adrift.

Bella removed her jeans and laid them across the end of the raft so they could keep their faces in the shade. She had to hope rescuers would find them before dehydration could set in.

She rested her head next to Kelly's and let the gentle rocking of the raft lull her back to sleep. She had no idea how long she had slept but the sound of waves crashing woke her up. She sat up and looked at a small island jutting up out of the sea.

"Kelly, wake up," she said and shook the girl.

Bella saw a long stretch of sand before it forming into large jagged rocks. They had to somehow make it to the sand or the raft would be ruined. She grabbed the floatation ring and began using it as a paddle to turn them toward the sand. When they got closer she jumped into the water and pushed the raft as she swam next to it.

Her feet began to touch ground and she cried out in triumph. Kelly jumped from the raft when it hit solid ground and helped Bella pull it ashore.

Edward drove to the hospital to see Jessica. She had undergone surgery but was in remarkably good spirits. Glen was sitting in the chair next to her as she talked nonstop about what had happened. Edward stuck his head in the room and she looked at him with a smile.

"You better have good news for me, brat," she teased. Edward had to admit it made him feel better to look at Jess. She was a direct link to Bella and it made him feel closer to her somehow.

"Sorry," he said and entered the room with his head down. "I have really bad news."

"What happened?" Jessica asked as she braced herself for news about Bella.

"You're going to live," Edward said and pretended to wipe away tears.

Jessica gasped and grabbed the Kleenex box and threw it at Edward. He smiled and walked over to give her a hug. "I did hear you are doing great, I'm sure it was my medical expertise at the crime scene."

"I just refuse to let you be my savior, don't get a big head," Jessica said and took hold of his hand gently. "Any news on Bella?"

"They are on a boat, heading south, it is all we know," Edward said sadly.

"But that is good news right, I mean a boat will be easy to find," Jessica said with hope.

Edward refused to point out the possibilities of Bella and Kelly being killed and dumped at sea, or all the horrible things that could happen to them without a hope of escaping. He shook his head and tried to keep the despair from showing on his face.

A nurse walked into the room and looked surprised to see Edward. "Dr. Masen, you shouldn't be here," she said and he wasn't sure if it was because of his honeymoon or the fact his wife and daughter were missing.

"I'm only checking on Jessica," he said and headed to the door.

"Edward," Jessica called out and he turned to look at her serious face.

"They're going to find them, and everything is going to be fine," she said adamantly and he could only nod in return. "And, thank you, for helping me."

"You saved my Annie, I don't have to words to tell you what it means to me," Edward said and Jessica noticed the name was the same as what he had called Bella. She smiled with a new appreciation for him.

He walked out of the hospital and got a phone call from Billy. "They picked up Laurent trying to get out of the country."

"Was Bella or Kelly with him?"

"No, he said something had gone wrong. He was supposed to meet them with a second boat and they were going to blow up the one with the girls after receiving a large sum of money from me and you."

"What went wrong?" Edward asked as his heart pounded furiously.

"Bella and Kelly escaped off the boat in the middle of the night. Laurent ran, Jimmy is searching for them," Billy said and then quickly added. "I have most of the tribe checking the shoreline and the small islands that dot the coast."

"Kelly's not a good swimmer, and neither is Bella," Edward pointed out as he felt his hope beginning to diminish.

"Bella wouldn't do something stupid," Billy said to bolster him, "If she got off that boat it was the best thing to do."

Bella and Kelly hugged each other and jumped up and down that they made it. Bella knew they were not out of the woods but they were out of Jimmy's grasp. She looked around to see if there was anything that could be used as shelter. They walked together down the beach and noticed fire pits.

"People come here," Bella yelled and ran over to see the burnt wood surrounded by rocks. She realized Labor Day had passed and the boating season was ending with the start of school, but surely one last visitor would come to the island.

"Look," Kelly said and pointed to a cooler lying on its side partially buried by sand at the edge of the water.

Bella ran over and opened the lid. She tossed out the plastic containers of rotted food and screamed when she saw a six pack of water bottles. She tossed one to Kelly who opened it and drank quickly.

"Thank God," Bella yelled as she pulled out a jar of peanuts. It might as well have been prime rib steaks from the joy they felt. She poured a handful into Kelly's palm and they both ate them gratefully.

"What's that?" Kelly asked as she pointed to a colorful object in the bottom of the cooler. Bella picked it up and felt tears begin to fall.

"It's a lighter," she explained and watched the flame spring to life.

She wasn't sure what to do. She wanted to light a fire to signal for help, but Jimmy was most likely the only person looking for them on the water. The drinking water and peanuts wouldn't last long and she knew they needed to do everything they could to find help, but the risk was too large.

She put the lighter in her pocket and they continued looking along the shoreline for anything they could use to survive. Kelly took hold of Bella's hand and said, "I really wanted to be at school tomorrow."

"I know dear, but when you show up and they ask how you spent Labor Day you can say your daddy got married and you discovered a deserted island. I bet you have the best story of all."

Kelly walked in silence and Bella could tell the poor traumatized child had something on her mind. They kept walking and Bella asked, "How do you feel about Tanya being alive?"

Kelly tightened her grip on Bella's hand and shook her head. "Do me and Annie and Daddy have to live with her again?" she asked with a terrified voice.

Bella laughed loudly and Kelly looked up at her face almost in tears. Bella smiled down at her and said, "I can't have babies, so when and you and Annie came into my life I loved you as much as if you were actually my daughters. I will never let anyone take you away from me, never. I would die before letting you go."

Kelly smiled and her hand released its tight grip, so Bella continued, "And regarding your daddy…he is the only man I will ever love. I will never hurt him or be mean to him, because I love him so much." Bella broke into tears and ached at the thought of Edward. She knew he would be franticly looking for them and prayed he would find them.

They finally made their way to a spot where a patch of thick forest filled the small knoll. Bella gave Kelly some more of the peanuts and they sat against a tree and stared into the vast ocean.

Edward made his way to his mother's house to check on Annie. Rosalie was fixing some food for the family and Alice was reading a book to Annie on the back porch. When Edward walked in the door Emmett and Jasper jumped up to hear if there was any news, he filled them in on what he knew and listened to the men talk to each other.

"Remember that small island we stopped at on the fishing trip we took a few years back?" Jasper asked Emmett.

"Yeah, you want to check it out?" Emmett asked.

"It would be the last inch of land before hitting open water. If they missed it they would be drifting in the pacific. It would be like a needle in a haystack."

"Wouldn't they swim toward the shore?" Edward asked as he tried not to show his hope dwindling.

"Surely Bella wouldn't jump into the ocean without something to keep them afloat. They would be pulled away from the shore by the tide," Jasper said and all three men nodded in agreement.

"Let's go," Emmett said and both men took off to find a boat to rent.

Edward walked out to sit next to Annie on the steps. She pulled out of Alice's arms and climbed on Edward's lap. "Hi, my little mermaid," Edward said and kissed her forehead.

Annie giggled and it was music to his aching heart. He had to stay strong for Annie; he couldn't ruin her life by falling apart. Bella had been such a great mother in the short time they were with her. He felt awful for the lonely life Annie would have if Bella and Kelly never returned.

"You need to get some rest Edward," Alice said and he nodded as he continued to smile at Annie.

Rosalie walked outside and told Annie she needed to talk to Edward a moment. She held out her hand for Edward to take and led him back into the house. She sat him in front of a plate of food and insisted he eat. He took a couple of bites but nothing had any taste.

She watched his effort and finally said, "You should have told us, Edward. We would have done anything to help you."

He knew his mother had filled in his sisters on the state of his marriage to Tanya and the deception she pulled on him. "I was lost without Bella," he admitted, "I made one mistake after another and excused it all because I had Kelly and Annie in my life. I love my daughters, Rose."

"You've done a really wonderful thing for those little girls, Edward."

"They are my daughters, I don't care whose blood is in their veins, they are my little girls."

"Edward, you need to keep having hope, but you also need to think about the possibility of losing Bella and Kelly. Mom is moving to Seattle and we think you should, too. We could help you with Annie and hold you together for awhile."

Edward stared at his sister who always seemed so much older and disconnected from him. Now she was his lifeline, offering to help him when he needed family so desperately. There was no way he could return to Bella's house if she was gone forever. He felt his tears falling down his cheeks and he welcomed his sister's arms when she pulled him into her embrace.

24

The sun was beginning to fall into the western sky and Bella worried about the coldness of the night. Kelly only had on panties and the top half of her dress. They gathered wood for the fire pit, but it still worried Bella to make their presence known if Jimmy was close by.

They were gathering dried moss for kindling and stepped onto the beach just as a small boat of teens pulled ashore. Bella pulled Kelly to the ground as she watched them for a moment. They were Quileute boys who looked to be about sixteen and one girl.

"Stay here," Bella instructed Kelly and she stepped into the open. The boys looked at her with surprise and their eyes instantly looked around and noticed Kelly so Bella called her forward.

"I need your help," Bella called to them.

"Where's your boat?" one of the boys asked.

"We were in a raft," Bella said and pointed to the bright orange object hidden in the trees.

"Are you shipwrecked?" another boys asked.

Bella took a deep breath, not sure what she should admit and finally said, "We were kidnapped and got away. There is a reward for our safe return."

"How much?" the boys asked.

Bella smiled and said, "Five thousand dollars."

"Really," the girls gasped. "For both of you or for each of you?"

"If you get us back tonight, five for each of us."

They all looked at each other with a huge smile and one boy stepped forward. "My name is Embry, welcome to our boat."

Bella grabbed Kelly and picked her up to walk through the water to the small boat. Just as she reached the ladder another boat could be heard approaching. Everyone turned to see a boat coming around the knoll with a blonde man standing on the deck with a gun pointed in their direction. Bella grabbed Kelly's hand and ran as fast as she could, dragging the girl back into the trees. She could hear shots hitting the sand around her but she continued running into the thick brush.

Kelly was crying loudly and Bella didn't bother telling her to be quiet. She let her express her fear since she truly believed they wouldn't live much longer. The teens were lying on their stomachs with their hands held high in surrender. Bella watched as Jimmy walked from the water onto the sandy beach.

"Bella," he yelled. "If you don't come out they are all going to die."

She looked at the terrified faces lying in the sand and knew Jimmy wouldn't think twice about killing them, when they had been kind and offered assistance to her and Kelly.

"I'll come out if you leave everyone alone. Just take me and I'll come out," she yelled and Kelly cried louder.

"Okay, it's a deal," he agreed and she had no other choice but to trust him.

"Kelly, honey," she said as she leaned down to talk to the girl. "I want you to remember I love you, okay. Tell Annie and your daddy I love them with all my heart."

"No," the little girl cried as she clung to Bella.

"Honey, you're safe now. Stay in the trees until the big boat leaves, okay. The kids will take you to daddy."

"Mommy," she begged with tortured cries and grabbed Bella's shirt with both fists.

"Kelly, you have to be brave, for me, okay. I need you to be a brave girl so I can do what I need to do, please," Bella begged as she began to cry. She pulled Kelly's hands from her shirt after kissing her several times and walked out of the trees and onto the beach.

Jimmy smiled and motioned for Tanya to come on shore. "You promised, Jimmy," Bella yelled and he nodded.

"I'll keep my word," he said and when Tanya walked up next to him he turned and punched her right in the face sending her collapsing into the sand. Bella gasped and Jimmy quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her into the surf and to the boat ladder as he shot large holes in the boat the kids had arrived in.

Bella climbed quickly and refused to look back when he pushed her to the ground and backed the boat from the knoll and headed out to sea.

Edward got a call just as darkness set in from the police department. Jasper and Emmett had found Kelly. He noticed right away how they only mentioned Kelly and not Bella. He was told about the teens finding them both on an island just as Jimmy arrived. Bella gave herself up to save them and Tanya had been left behind.

"Where's Tanya?" Edward asked with a tight jaw.

"The reservation police have her and they're bringing her in," the officer said. "You need to come here to pick up your daughter in about an hour."

He put his phone back in his pocket and walked over to the front door of his mother's house before falling onto his knees in loud sobs. Rose and Alice each ran to comfort him but his cries drowned out any soothing words they tried to use.

He was completely broken. His love was gone and only Tanya remained. He wanted to kill her himself, but mostly he wanted to die. Kelly and Annie would need him, but he had nothing left to give. He cursed the day he left Forks, his pride made him feel he needed to be something important for Bella. He now knew she would have loved him just the same if he would have stayed.

Bella kept her eyes down as Jimmy steered the large boat. She was void of any hope and knew he would never let her leave alive. She considered offering him money, but she knew revenge was what he wanted now, money would come up later.

He finally pulled her by the hair down the stairs and as soon as she entered the room his punches began. She felt a blow to her left eye that sent a bright flash through her brain before she fell in total darkness.

Her thoughts became disjointed and more a series of unrecognizable images. She saw a beautiful man with clear green eyes smiling at her; she saw a little girl riding a horse through a field of flowers and then quickly moved to under the water as a tiny mermaid swam past her with a smile.

The noises around her didn't make sense. She heard grunting and laughing and long series of silence. Then music played and beeping noises interrupted the sound of children singing. She felt bright lights but never opened her eyes to look at them. People mumbled around her but she never heard actual words.

Edward was taken to the station by his sisters and when he saw Kelly he felt newfound strength. He ran to her, pulling her into his arms as she cried into his neck. "Daddy, my daddy," she cried over and over again.

"I've got you, baby. I've got you," he assured her.

A second car pulled up with Tanya in the back seat. Her eye was swollen shut and Edward stepped into the station to keep Kelly from having to see his reaction to Tanya. Alice took the girl as Edward walked slowly down the hallway to the door where Tanya would be brought through.

She flinched when she saw Edward waiting. "Will he kill her?" he asked with an unreadable expression.

Tanya smiled and then quickly grimaced from the pain it caused. "I sure hope so," she finally managed to say.

"You should have stayed dead, Tanya," he said coldly, "Because I'm going to make sure you wish you were."

"Are you threatening me," she yelled and looked at the officer for assistance.

"I have money now, remember. I can pay some lifer in prison to do pretty much anything I want. You better watch your back, dear." He turned and walked away feeling a bit of vindication but it didn't last long. His reality was too painful to find joy in rattling Tanya.

A loud noise came from a tray dropping onto the floor and Bella jumped. She looked around the room at the others and didn't recognize anyone or where she was. She looked down to see she was sitting in a wheelchair and gasped loudly.

A young girl ran to her side and said, "Jane, you're awake. Dr. Cullen will be right here."

"Who are you, where am I?" Bella asked.

"My name is Becca. Dr. Cullen is on his way."

"Who is Dr. Cullen?"

The door opened and a man in a doctor's coat rushed to her side. He knelt next to her chair and smiled at her. He was very good looking, with blonde hair and blue eyes. Bella began to relax just a bit.

"Hi," he smiled. "Can you tell me your name?"

Bella looked back at the young girl and answered, "Jane?"

The doctor gave the girl an angry look and turned back to Bella. "Do you remember where you live?"

Her mind was totally blank; she couldn't imagine anyplace she belonged. She shook her head and looked back at the chair. "Am I crippled?"

"No, you can walk," he assured her. "You were found drifting on a boat; do you know why you were there?"

"No," she whispered.

"Okay, we'll work on it. You are in a hospital in San Diego. You have been here for six weeks while you heal. We will let the police know you are awake and they will most likely want to speak to you."

"Will you stay with me?" she asked with a panicked voice and reached out to grab his hand.

He smiled and nodded, "Sure, I'm Carlisle Cullen."

Bella smiled back at his kind face and felt her entire body begin to relax.

Billy showed up at Edward's mother's house and asked to speak to him. They got in Billy's truck and went for a drive. "Son, I need you to come home, bring your daughters and come take care of them. You inherit anything of Bella's and…."

"She's not dead," Edward said with emphasis.

"Right, so we need to make sure she has something to return home to. If Bella finds a way to get free, she'll come to the ranch. I know you wanted to be a doctor, but those little girls need their daddy. You can be my partner and take care of them at the same time."

Edward didn't know how he was going to work out his situation and continue on to become a doctor. Billy was right, he was needed at home and he would put his daughter's happiness first. He no longer feared Tanya taking them from him, but he did fear some low life biological father coming out of the woodwork.

Edward had made sure over the years that the girls couldn't be taken legally, but he did worry about their emotional health if someone came forward to say they belonged to him.

So Edward gave up his dream, when he was only seven months short of finishing. He took the girls back to their perfect rooms Bella had made for them and lived with the ghost of her everywhere. Waiting for the day he would receive his miracle and she would come back to him.

The police were hesitant to release Bella's picture to the media. She couldn't remember who placed her in that boat and then left her for dead. The man could easily return to claim her and they wouldn't know the difference.

They decided to reach out to police departments, to see if they had any missing women she could possibly be. As they waiting for a response Bella and Dr. Cullen were getting closer and closer.

She would light up when he arrived to work and he spent much more time with her than any other patient. He couldn't deny his attraction to her any longer and finally asked her to go with him on a date.

"Outside of this place?" she asked.

"This isn't a prison, Jane; you can go out if you like."

"I don't have any clothes," she said as she stared at her hospital scrubs.

"I can get you something to wear. Would you like a dress?" he asked with a smile,

"Why are you so nice to me," she asked and her face reddened.

"Because I like you, and I think you like me, too."

She nodded and couldn't help the smile forming on her mouth.

When it was time for him to leave work he came to get her. They walked hand in hand out the door and to his fancy sports car. She climbed in and they headed to a small store where she tried on several dresses.

She stood silently in the dressing room staring at her scarred body. When Carlisle knocked on the door she opened it and let him see what she was doing.

"What happened to me?" she asked with tears.

"We don't know, but you're safe now, and I will never let anything happen to you again," he said and ran his finger gently down her cheek.

"I used to have a feeling that I belonged to someone, that someone is looking for me or waiting for me. But if this is what he's done, I don't want to belong to him."

"You belong to me," Carlisle said softly and pulled her into a hug. "I have been waiting for you for a very long time."


	9. Chapter 25 thru 27

25

Edward was trying to keep his patience as he did everything he could for the emotional child in front of him. She wanted him to fix her socks, but everything he did seemed to only make her more upset.

"Kelly, I don't understand what you want," he said harshly out of frustration.

"I want them to be straight," she cried.

"They are straight," he insisted.

"No daddy, they have wrinkles," she yelled loudly.

"All socks fit that way," he said and stood to end the conversation.

"I can't go to school with my socks like this," she said and stomped back to her room.

Edward felt like he was going to cry. He could set broken bones, but sock drama was over his head. He needed Bella and every day that passed took a little of his hope away. The girls seemed fine at first, but as time moved on they became difficult. He looked at the clock and finally had to take a stand.

He walked to Kelly's room and knocked lightly on the door. "Honey, you have two minutes to get into the car, with or without socks."

"I'm not going to school," she said in tears.

Edward opened the door and took a deep breath. "You will walk to the car or I will carry you, but you are going to school."

Annie came out of her room holding a pair of mismatched socks and said, "Kelly, you can wear my socks."

"You are a very generous sister," Edward said and nodded toward the socks Annie was holding.

"You choose, Kelly."

The girl finally grabbed her backpack and marched out to the car with tears still falling. Edward and Annie climbed in and they drove in silence for the few blocks to the front of the school.

"Kelly," Edward said softly when she opened the door. "I miss her, too."

She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater and got out of the car. Edward felt his own tears fall as he watched her walk away, her ponytail crooked and her socks pulled up tight instead of folded over as they should be. He needed a woman to mother his girls, but he knew he would never give up hope that someday Bella would return.

Annie unbuckled her seatbelt and stood behind Edward with her little arms around his neck. "Are you sad, daddy?" she asked.

"Just a bit," he answered.

"You'll feel better if we swim," she said as a ploy to get permission to get into the pool.

"It's too cold, Annie," he warned. "We already talked about this."

She sat back on the seat and pouted the rest of the way home.

His life was becoming so predictable. He would take Kelly to school, get Annie ready and take her an hour later, work his ass off while they were gone and then pick them up, help with homework, make dinner, have the girls bathe, lay out school clothes and make lunches for the next day, and then when the girls were asleep he would spend the evening looking through photo albums and crying for Bella.

He was slowly dying on the inside and finding it more and more difficult to pretend on the outside.

The first few months people would stop by to check on him, but they eventually stopped coming, convinced Bella was dead. On the night of the first frost Sue came over to talk to him.

"Edward, would it help if we had some sort of service for Bella," she asked hesitantly.

"Why would we do that?" he asked and let his tone tell her he was never going to consider it.

"Son, you need to move forward with your life, for your girls," she said and watched his eyes grow angry.

"She asked me to wait, so I'm waiting," he said with a tight jaw.

"How long are you willing to wait?"

He looked at her as tears filled his eyes, "I'll wait forever. She waited for me, I owe her this much."

"She dated and remained open to other options, maybe you should do the same."

He was stunned at what Sue was suggesting and whispered, "Four hours. I was married to her for four hours. Surely God will give me more time, He isn't that cruel."

Sue pulled him into her arms and let him cry out his heartache, knowing he loved Bella more than she had ever realized. She hoped the girls would be able to keep him together and worried about the day they would get confirmation of Bella's death.

"Why don't you go with Billy on the next trip and I'll stay with the girls."

"You can't close your shop," he answered as he shook his head.

"I'll hire someone to help me for a week, you go and get away for a bit."

He finally agreed and noticed how Annie and Kelly seemed glad he would be gone for a week. He knew they were all physical reminders of what was missing in their lives and it hurt even more.

The girls stood by the large semi as Edward gave his last instructions. "Annie, if you get in the pool you won't swim at all next summer. The heater is off and it is too cold. Kelly you can only ride if Sue bridle's the horse. I don't want you in the stalls alone."

Both girls nodded in understanding and he noticed the sad, broken countenance on their faces. He took a deep breath and gave them one last hug and kiss. "I'll bring you both a surprise," he promised and climbed into the truck.

He knew Billy wouldn't bring up anything emotional. He was too uncomfortable talking heart to heart and it gave Edward a break from the constant ache. They discussed stock and various cowboys, anything but the elephant in the room.

The event was in Montana and Edward watched the action with interest. It was fast and energetic and he was able to forget his misery for a few nights. He was watering the stock when a young woman approached him.

"Are you with Swan Ranch?" she asked him.

"Yes, do you need something?"

"Yeah, my brother is riding Carolina tomorrow, can you tell me about the bull?"

Edward chuckled and shook his head, "I don't know anything about how they perform, you need to see Billy Black."

"You're not a cowboy?" she asked with a hint of disbelief.

"No, I'm the accountant," he said with a humorless laugh.

Her eyes widened and she folded her arms in front of herself. "I don't believe you," she said as she slowly looked him up and down.

"Seven times nine is sixty-three, now do you believe me?"

She laughed and it actually made Edward smile. He stared at her for a moment, one brief moment, and wondered if she could take the pain away for only one night. His mind instantly changed course. Bella waited for him as he lived his hell, he had to do the same.

"Goodnight," he said and got away from her as fast as he could.

He made it through the nightmare of Thanksgiving by taking the girls to Seattle. His sisters were great with Annie and Kelly, but they didn't know how to handle Edward. He spent time with Emmett since the man only cared about football and didn't try to delve into Edward's thoughts.

Christmas was going to be a lot harder. He had set a personal goal of having Bella home by Christmas and the day was heading for him like the banging of a kettle drum. He knew he didn't have very many Christmas' left when both girls would still believe in Santa so he tried to pull it together for them.

"Are you girls making a list for Santa?" he asked and they looked at him in shock.

"Daddy, we only want mommy," Annie said.

"Santa goes all over the world, he can find her," Kelly added.

Edward felt the tears drop from his eyes down his face. "Girls, Santa doesn't look for missing adults, he only brings gifts to children."

"But he brings what kids ask for, we are both going to ask for mommy," Kelly said with so much hope.

"We'll go get a tree today," he said praying it would change their focus. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin the special holiday for them. His constant brooding was keeping their hopes up that Santa could help them, he decided to change his actions for at least the next three weeks.

He spent the entire morning putting lights on the house to make it appear festive, in case Bella did come home. He had decorated the house so many times over the years, spending Christmas with Bella and never telling her how much he loved her. He pulled the box of ornaments down from the attic and told the girls stories about each one.

"What's this?" Annie asked as she pulled a paper plate from the box.

Edward laughed and took it from her hand. Bella had begged him to make a homemade ornament one year, so he glued a picture of himself onto a paper plate. He had no idea she had kept it. He stuck a hook in the ornament and hung it on the tree.

She had been gone for almost four months, but he still felt her presence. He was sure she was alive, because he could feel it. Surely he would know if she no longer walked the earth, his soul would wither if Bella was permanently gone.

When they finished with the tree he stepped back to look at the crooked, unevenly decorated concoction they put together and smiled widely, "It's perfect," he announced.

"Turn on the lights, dad," Kelly squealed.

He plugged in the lights and they all cheered loudly. "Let's make cookies," Annie said and Kelly ran to the fridge to pull out some ready made dough.

"You know what," Edward announced, "Lets do this right and make homemade cookies."

He began pulling out ingredients, just as he had done with Bella so many times. The girls made snowman cookies and he let them decorate them any way they wanted. They were all laughing and teasing each other and for the first time in four months they felt like a family.

When it was time for bed Annie rubbed her stomach, "My tummy is so full of snowmans."

"Snowmen," Kelly corrected.

Annie lifted up her shirt to show her bulging stomach. "I look like a snowmen," she said making Edward laugh.

"Snowman," Kelly said and Annie had no idea what she was saying wrong.

"Hopefully we'll have snow by Christmas and we can make real snowmen," Edward said as he picked her up and headed to her room.

"Daddy, this was the best day," Annie said and he kissed her cheek.

"I agree, my Annie."

He went into Kelly's room and she was already snuggled up in her bed. She smiled up at him and said, "You did a good job today, dad."

"I did, with what?" he asked.

"With being happy," she said and he noticed the worry in her eyes.

"You girls always make me happy, I don't know what I would do without you," he said and sat on the edge of her bed.

"I miss her," Kelly said, "But I would die without you, dad."

He smiled and leaned over to kiss her, "No more Daddy?" he asked noticing how she was calling him dad.

"I'm the woman of the house, now," she said and Edward did his best not to laugh.

"I think I'll let you lean on me for just a bit longer," he said with a smile and kissed her nose. "Goodnight."

He walked into the family room and turned off the lights on the tree before cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. He got everything back in order, checked to see the girls were sound asleep and headed to his own bed.

He brushed his teeth and climbed into the large king size bed alone. He pulled Bella's pillow into his arms and buried his face as he sobbed fiercely. Nobody heard him, and he eventually cried himself to sleep.

Over the next week he shopped for the girls, relying on the help of sales women to pick the latest fads for kids their ages. He even bought a present for Bella, full of hope she would be home for Christmas. Once his shopping was done the joys of the season began to weigh on him.

He was sitting on the bench he made for Bella years ago as light snow fell around him. He didn't really feel the cold, his entire life had turned cold. Love had been found at such a young age for him, but it was turning out to be elusive, like the snowflakes melting in his hands.

He stood and began walking back to the house, coming into the driveway just as a squad car pulled up. He felt his heart skip a beat and he said a silent prayer that it would be good news. The officer saw him and waited for him to approach.

"Mr. Mason, we have a picture we would like you to look at. It came from a police department in San Diego."

Edward reached out and took the picture of a woman who was severely beaten. Her face was purple and grotesquely swollen. "Is this supposed to be Bella?" he asked in shock.

The officer handed him the next picture and he gasped loudly. He was staring at a face too thin, and too sad, but it was definitely his wife.

"Where is she?" he asked quickly.

"Is it your wife?" the officer asked.

"Yes, it is. Is she alive?"

"I'm sorry Edward, but she's in a mental hospital with no memory."

"I don't care, I want to get there as soon as possible, where is she?"

Billy came outside to see what the officer wanted and Edward handed him the pictures.

"We will contact the department who sent out the inquiry and give them a positive identification for their Jane Doe…."

"I'll come with you," Edward said and took a step toward the squad car.

"I'm sorry, but these things take time, I don't have anymore information to give you."

Billy took hold of Edward's arm and held him still. "Son, we found her, let the officer do his job."

"I knew it, Billy, I knew she would be home by Christmas," Edward said with a smile he could hardly contain. He got his miracle and everything felt better, and brighter, and filled with hope.

26

Bella had moved into an apartment with two other women as she continued to work on her memory. She was now under the care of a different therapist so she could see Carlisle officially. They were not intimate, yet, but heading in that direction. He was patient and let the relationship move at the pace Bella needed.

They were wrapped in blankets, sitting on his deck looking at the ocean when he found the nerve to finally kiss her. She responded eagerly and pulled him tightly to her. His kiss was soft and gentle but something in the pit of her stomach made her pull away.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly.

"Yes, I just got a really funny feeling," she said honestly.

"Do you remember anything?" he asked.

"I feel such a mixture of trust and fear. I think whatever happened to me was done by someone I really trusted."

"I don't want you to feel like I am pushing you, Jane; I'm fine with just sitting here," he said and she smiled at his kind face.

"I like kissing you," she said and leaned in for another soft kiss.

"I like kissing you," he said as he gave her a long series of kisses.

"Jane, I was thinking it might help if we take a boat ride, it might stir some memories. Would you like to go to Catalina Island next weekend?"

"Where is that?" she asked.

"It is just up the coast. We could spend the night there and come back after breakfast on Sunday."

"Spend the night, like together?" she asked.

"Only if you're ready," he said and she looked back at the ocean.

She felt safe with Carlisle and he treated her really well. Not many men would be willing to date a woman who didn't even know who she was. Maybe that was the problem, she was Jane, but her soul knew that wasn't true. She wasn't sure what love was supposed to feel like, and maybe she had it with Carlisle.

She turned back to look at him and smiled widely, "What do you want for Christmas?"

He brushed her hair back from her face and shook his head, "I have my gift right here."

"Carlisle, you could have anyone, why do you want to get involved with me? I have no idea who I am," she said as her eyes filled with tears.

"I don't know your name, but I know your heart. You are kind and loving and your smiled does amazing things to my body," he said as he leaned over and kissed her neck.

"What if I am someone awful, and I deserved what happened to me," she said softly as she let her head fall back to enjoy more of what he was offering.

His hand came up to hold her neck as he began kissing with more force, "Never," he moaned.

She was breathing shallow breaths and having to open her mouth to get enough air. Her own body was responding to him and she suddenly didn't care who she was, or who was looking for her. Carlisle was kind and gentle and so handsome, but more importantly she felt safe with him.

She slowly slid down the chaise lounge as he rolled over her. They were quickly getting out of control and he pulled back to look at her face.

"Jane, I'm falling in love with you, but I need to know you love me back. I don't want to add more pain to your life if you have someone looking for you," he said with a sad expression.

"I think I love you, but there is something in my head that is holding me back. I can't explain it, but I feel so scared all the time. I think the person I loved hurt me and maybe I'm afraid of love now."

"I would never hurt you," he said and she looked into his sincere eyes and knew it was the truth. She could trust him with her heart, and anything else that come up in her life.

"Let's go to your bed," she whispered and his jaw tightened as he looked away from her. "Don't you want me? " she asked.

"You have no idea how much, but I want to make it special and give you time to really process this decision. Next weekend we'll move forward, okay?"

She nodded and he leaned in to kiss her passionately. Her body wanted him so badly, but her mind, which was still a locked fortress, was telling her differently.

She worked at the small thrift store the hospital owned for her room and board and didn't make enough to purchase nice things for a weekend getaway, so she asked one of the nurses if she could borrow and nice dress and a nightgown.

The woman brought her a wide selection to look at it and they all laughed and gossiped about the weekend she was preparing for.

"I'm so nervous," Bella confessed. "I hope I don't disappoint him."

"I've seen the way Dr. Cullen looks at you, he won't be disappointed."

"Really, you don't think it is just my situation that interests him?" Bella asked.

"Jane, you are so gorgeous, and Dr. Cullen is the hottest doctor in the place….what's wrong," she asked as she noticed Bella's face.

"Doctor," Bella said over and over again. "I got a weird feeling when you said that word. It should mean something to me, I think."

"Yeah, it should mean a great life as a doctor's wife," the girls laughed and Bella couldn't shake the feeling.

She looked at the sexy lingerie lying in front of her and felt sick to her stomach. Maybe she wasn't ready after all. Her body was scarred and damaged, surely Carlisle couldn't find pleasure in looking at her.

She ran from the room and rushed home. Carlisle showed up half an hour later to find her sobbing on her bed. He climbed up to lay next to her and rubbed her back as she cried.

He was so kind and she wanted to have a life with him, but she didn't know what she had to offer. She couldn't even tell him her name.

He finally gave a voice to what she was feeling. "Jane, if we are moving too fast I understand. I know you need to love yourself before you can love me, and I'm willing to wait."

"No, I need to move forward. I think I feel stuck and I need a real job with a real life."

"Okay," he said with a smile. "We'll take the trip this weekend and then work on finding you a job after Christmas. I also want you to think about moving in with me."

She let him pull her into his arms and hold her gently, running his fingers through her hair, as she calmed and eventually fell asleep.

Bella was at Carlisle's house, ready to leave for the weekend, feeling giddy with anticipation. They were both smiling like teenagers in love and felt like this was their beginning of forever. She was going to tell him this weekend she would move into his house and hoped he would be as happy as she was.

Carlisle's cell phone rang and he held up his finger. She watched him answer with a smile on his face and it quickly fell to the most heartbreaking expression.

He glanced at Bella and said softly, "Where?"

She could tell the news was about her and obviously not good. She sat down to prepare herself for the information. Carlisle spoke into the phone but she had stopped listening. She felt the dread of something lurking on the horizon that would put an end to her happiness.

After he hung up he walked over to sit next to her and he took a deep breath before speaking. "Your name is Bella Masen and you are from Forks, Washington."

She didn't respond but simply waited for the words that made his expression so pained. He took another deep breath and said, "Your husband and children are waiting for you."

"No," she said with a soft voice as her tears fell.

"Your therapist spoke to your husband. He will travel with you to see them and help you with any adjustments that may arise," Carlisle said as he tried to remain professional. His tears fell freely and he didn't bother trying to hide them.

"Is he the one who hurt me?" she asked, hoping she would be allowed to stay with Carlisle.

"No, he loves you," Carlisle said as his head dropped.

"I don't want to see him, I love you," she said in a panic. "I want to stay here with you. Let's get on the boat, Carlisle."

"We can't. You are a mother, Ja…Bella."

"Don't call me that," she said in anger and threw her arms around his neck. "I'm not her, maybe I was once, but not anymore. I won't go; I don't want to see him. It scares me, Carlisle."

"What if I go with you, we'll all sit down together and talk this out."

She finally nodded, knowing for certainty she would be returning home with Carlisle. She couldn't just love another man without memory of him, even the thought of children left her empty. She had no memory of being a mother and she was terrified to look into the hopeful eyes of a man and children, without feeling anything in return.

"When do we go?" she asked.

"Tomorrow morning, I'll call Dr. Rice and make arrangements to go with you."

She stared into his eyes and saw his own fear. He wasn't sure she would want him anymore and she had to ease his mind. She wanted to feel like she was his and nothing could separate them, so she leaned over to speak into his ear.

"Make love to me, Carlisle," she said and tightened her arms around him.

He wanted to give her what she asked for more than anything. He could easily take her into his room and keep her there till morning and then tell her husband she was his. But he knew it wasn't what was best for her recovery. If the man brought back her memory she would hate Carlisle for loving her so completely.

She had to be free to choose him willingly so he pushed her away from his body. "Jan…I mean, Bella, we can't."

She moved back and tried to say the name Bella herself, but it didn't sound right to her ears. She had transformed into Jane and that was what she would tell the man in Washington. He could continue on as if she was dead, because Bella was truly gone, and Jane didn't want him.

They made arrangements for the trip to Washington and kept their bags packed from the ruined trip to Catalina. He held her in his arms as they both tried to sleep through the night, but it would only come in small stretches of time. They flew to Seattle and then to Port Angeles. Bella felt her palms sweating and her heart pounding as the passed the, Welcome to Forks, sign.

Carlisle took her hand in his and squeezed it gently. She searched the small town for anything that looked familiar. She was a stranger to this place. They pulled in front of a gate that read, Swan Ranch, and Bella felt a lump in her throat, but she had no idea why.

She looked over at Carlisle and he smiled softly. "You ready?" he asked and she nodded before adding, "I love you."

They climbed out of the car and opened the gate surrounded by dormant rose bushes. An older man and woman walked onto the porch and Bella looked at them without any recognition.

They obviously couldn't be her parents but she didn't understand what they would be doing greeting her first. The woman had tears falling but the man just watched her closely. She felt uncomfortable and quickly wrapped her arm around Carlisle.

"I'm Billy and this is Sue, we've known you since birth," the man said and Bella only nodded awkwardly.

He opened the door and let them into the warm house that smelled like cinnamon and spices. The Christmas tree was lit and a fire roared in the fireplace. The house felt welcoming, but not familiar.

A tall man with a full head of messy hair stepped into view. His lip was shaking and his knees were bouncing back and forth nervously. "It's really you," he cried and stepped forward to pull her into his arms.

He buried his face in her neck and kissed her several times before realizing her arms had not come around him in reciprocation. He pulled back to look at her face and she wouldn't meet his gaze.

As soon as his arms relaxed she pulled away and grabbed onto the other man to hide her face in his chest as she cried. "I want to go home, Carlisle," she said and Edward's world, which had been so full of hope only moments ago, crumbled at his feet.

27

Carlisle didn't have to be a trained psychologist to see the pain in Edward's face. He felt badly for the young man and instantly wondered of Bella was younger than he had guessed.

"Let's all sit down," Carlisle suggested and Bella sat next to him, leaning against his side as Edward stared at her in angst.

"Why was Bella on the boat?" Carlisle asked as he placed his hand on Bella's knee.

"She was kidnapped," Edward said, too distracted by the man touching his wife to answer fully.

Sue decided to take control. "Bella, you married at the age of eighteen to a man named James White, do you remember him?"

Bella's eyes were wide and she shook her head back and forth.

"He was very abusive and he eventually met Edward's ex-wife, Tanya." Bella's eyes moved to look at Edward and he looked away. She noticed how guilty he looked and wondered if she had stolen him away from his wife.

"Jimmy and Tanya showed up at your wedding," Sue continued and Bella's eyes snapped around to look at her.

"You are the stepmother to Edward's two girls," Sue said softly and Bella felt a sense of relief. She would not have to hurt her own flesh and blood by leaving with Carlisle.

"They took you and the girls, Jessica saved the youngest girl, Annie. Do you remember your best friend Jessica?" Sue asked and Bella shook her head again.

Edward smiled and gave out a short chuckle gaining everyone's attention. "At least something good happened," he said and Sue smacked his arm before continuing.

"You and Kelly were taken and put on a boat, but you escaped somehow and made it to an island. Some teenagers found you at the same time Jimmy did, you gave yourself up to save the others."

Edward raised his eyes and smiled softly, "Thank you, for saving my daughter."

Bella looked into his eyes for only a quick moment and felt an electric shock run through her. She vowed not to look at them again. She was terrified of what they were telling her and didn't want to remember even a second of it.

"Is he in jail," Bella asked.

"No," Billy answered, "They caught Tanya and his other accomplice, Laurent, but not Jimmy."

She was sure she would return with Carlisle now, she wasn't safe with Edward if this man knew where he lived. It was Carlisle's turn to fill in his part of the story so he took Bella's hand in his and began.

"Bella was brought to our facility after a cruise ship reported a drifting vessel. She had been beaten severely and suffered from dehydration. She would not have lived another day without medical intervention. The body begins to use its own muscle as food…"

"I'm a doctor," Edward said to cut him off.

"You are?" Bella asked and instantly regretted it because of the look of his face.

"I'm…I did…"

"He was doing his residency when you were taken. He quit to take care of his children," Billy explained, feeling Bella needed to know what Edward had sacrificed.

"Can you go back?" she asked and realized it sounded like she was staying so she quickly added, "Someday when your kids are older."

"It isn't an issue," Edward said, trying to tell her nothing would matter in his life without her.

Carlisle cleared his throat to continued and it made Edward feel the doctor didn't like Bella talking to him. "She came to our facility for six weeks before she finally responded to her surroundings. She has had CT scans done of her brain and her memory loss is not due to physical injury but is the product of emotional damage."

"So if she feels comfortable and safe in a familiar environment her memory will most likely return," Edward said as he looked directly at Carlisle.

"She thinks of herself as Jane, she doesn't consider herself to be Bella," he answered.

"But in reality she is Bella, the stress of living as someone else will eventually catch up to her. Her memories should come back to soothe her not to damage her further," Edward pushed and Carlisle knew his medical training would make it hard to take Bella from him.

"She is going to have to make some choices," Carlisle said and Edward knew exactly what he was talking about. His jaw tightened and his face turned pale.

The two men stared hatefully at each other and Edward said in a low menacing voice, "It's a breach of ethics, doctor."

"I'm not her therapist any longer," Carlisle answered.

"But I'm still her husband," Edward pointed out.

"As I said, she is going to have to make some choices."

Bella kept her head down and refused to look at either man. Billy looked at her and finally said, "Baby girl, this has been your home for all but two years of your life. This is where you belong. Your name is written on the gate and your blood comes from this land."

She raised her head and said softly, "But I don't remember any of it."

Edward stood and held out his hand for hers. "I want to show you something, will you come with me?"

She looked at Carlisle in fear and he nodded his approval so she hesitantly took Edward's hand and followed him to the back of the house. He put a thick coat on her that hung past her hands and covered her head with a knit cap, before putting on his own winter gear.

They walked down the trail as Edward spoke about the history of the ranch. When they got to the wooden bench he built for her he stopped. "I made this for you, Bella, because I wanted you to have something from me that became part of the ranch. You loved this spot and it made you happy to look over the town and know every single light and every single tree. I was fourteen years old, and the only thing I knew was I loved Bella Swan."

She sat on the bench and wiped her tears. "Tell me who I am," she whispered.

"You are my world, you are my reason for breathing, you are my heart," he said as his own tears fell.

She couldn't respond and let her tears fall as her breath formed clouds from the cold. He sat next to her and looked over the valley. "You are Isabella Marie Swan, you were raised by two wonderful people who died in an explosion when you were twenty. You lived in Texas with Jimmy and you came home and divorced him. You hired me to help at the ranch and we spent four years together until I left for college."

"I'm older than you?" Bella asked and Edward smiled.

"Yeah, but I'm wiser," he teased and she actually smiled at him.

"I was tricked into marrying Tanya and when I came here to do my residency you saved me. You loved Kelly and Annie as if they were your own. They are not my biological children, although I was told they were, but we loved them all the same. Tanya faked her death and joined Jimmy. She is in prison for the murder of a young woman from Portland and the kidnapping of you and the girls."

"Our marriage is valid, Bella, we belong together, and we have known it for many years."

"But I don't remember you, Edward. My heart is now filled with Carlisle, I'm sorry," she said and refused to look at his face.

"When you left with Jimmy you told me to wait for you, faithfully. I want you to know I did. It might not mean anything right now, but when you get your memory back I want you to know I did what you asked."

"What if it never comes back?" she asked.

"I want you to agree to stay here for one week. Look at the pictures of our life and meet the girls. If your memory doesn't come back I will willingly let you leave and return to him."

"What if it comes back and I still want him?"

"Then I love you enough to let you walk away from me," he said and had to wipe away a tear.

She took a deep breath and looked over the valley one more time. She didn't recognize anything but she did feel some sort of pull. She owed it to herself to find out what it was. She turned to look at Edward and nodded, "One week."

They walked back to the house and announced the plan. Billy and Sue were ecstatic and Carlisle agreed but looked worried. Bella walked with him to the car and he got her bag from the trunk before pulling her into his arms. Edward turned around and went back into the house so he wouldn't have to watch. Billy remained to add a threatening presence to the man who was trying to take Bella away.

When she finally came back into the house she was wiping her eyes furiously and looked absolutely terrified. Edward motioned for her to come with him and led her to the bedroom.

"This was our room, you can have it to yourself. Your clothes are still in the drawers and the closet."

Bella walked to the bedside table and picked up the picture they took for the announcements. The girls were so cute and they all looked very happy. She felt better staring at a picture of Edward than staring at his live face. She could study him without feeling awkward.

"You used to have nightmares and I would come sit on the floor by your bed, do you still have them?" he asked.

"Sometimes," she admitted. "But they are not of anything I recognize. Just fear of something coming for me."

"I'll be down the hall if you need me," he said and she nodded.

"Would you like to look at some photo albums?" he asked and she smiled at him.

He reached out for her hand and held it softly as he took her back by the fireplace. He sat a pile of albums at her feet and sat next to them before handing one to her. She opened it to find pictures of a small girl.

"Those are your parents, Charlie and Renee."

She stared at each page trying to recall any morsel of information, but it remained so foreign. The back door opened and Sue walked in holding Kelly and Annie's hands. The girls looked sheepishly at Bella and then looked at Edward in confusion.

He raised his hand and they came over to him, clinging to his body as they stared at Bella. "Santa doesn't need to find her anymore girls, the police found her, but she can't remember us or even herself, so we need to be patient and help her remember."

"I'm sorry," Bella said, and felt so much guilt for hurting such beautiful children.

Annie approached her first and brought her little hand to Bella's ear and whispered something to her. Bella looked at Edward and then back to the girl, "Isn't it too cold outside?"

Edward sighed loudly and shook his head at Annie, "Do you want to be grounded?"

"I thought it would help her remember," the girl said sadly and Edward laughed.

"Annie is part mermaid," he explained and Bella smiled at the sad child.

"I was brave," Kelly said as tears filled her eyes. "You told me to be brave and remember how much you loved us. I remembered, why can't you?"

"I'm trying to remember," Bella said to the crying child and her own tears spilled down her cheeks. "I didn't forget you on purpose."

"You said you loved us like your own, and you would die before letting us go. We don't want you to leave," Kelly added and Bella let out a loud sob causing both girls to put their arms around her.

Edward wasn't sure if Bella was crying for the life she forgot or for the man she remembered, Carlisle.

"Why don't we all get in the car and get something to eat before looking at Christmas lights?" Edward suggested. The girls instantly brightened up and Bella looked relieved.

She headed to her room to dress in some of her warm clothing and hoped it would spark some recognition. She pulled out a thermal shirt and some jeans, when she noticed a slip of paper lying in the drawer. She picked it up and saw it was a prescription with the name, Dr. Edward Masen, on the top.

She dressed and walked back to the room to find the kids bundled up and Edward holding a coat which was much smaller, obviously belonging to her. She took the coat from his hand and handed him the paper she found.

He glanced at it and instantly turned red. "It was a joke," he tried to explain and she laughed at his reaction so he explained further. "You accidently handed it to the pharmacist and came home very embarrassed. I didn't know you kept it."

"Anymore like those lying around I should watch out for?" she teased, liking the fact she had something to tease him about.

He waited for the girls to make it into the garage before he leaned over to speak into her ear, "And just so you know, you did."

Her face turned red and her heart began beating quickly. She was sure it was only because he was so handsome, and she was missing Carlisle, but she also had to admit being with him and the little girls felt good, heartwarming almost.

They got into the car and Edward smiled in a way he hadn't for months. Things were coming together and he felt she would be his by the end of the week. Bella's thoughts were further away, trying to decide on the right Christmas present for Carlisle.


	10. Chapter 28 thru 30

28

The days were passing quickly and Edward noticed how much Bella seemed to be bonding with the girls, but not with him. She was sweet and polite but she acted like a guest in his home.

He was actually a bit relieved when Jessica showed up. She walked in after giving a curt knock and ran to Bella, pulling her into a tight embrace. Bella looked stunned and held her arms out without actually hugging Jessica back, just as she had done with Edward.

"You look great, Bella, God look how thin you are, maybe I should let James kidnap me. I understand your loss of memory, if I was married to 'boy wonderless' I would forget, too."

"This is Jessica, she was your charity project," Edward said to explain who the woman hugging her was.

"We were best friends since preschool, and then one day you found this mutant," Jessica said and pointed to Edward.

"She doesn't remember you, so leave," Edward said and Jessica pulled Bella by the arm into the bedroom.

"We can talk now, come on, you remember me right? You just don't want to stay married to Edward."

"I honestly don't, remember you that is," Bella said.

Edward had followed them and stood in the doorway.

"It's okay, I repeat myself so often I don't mind filling you in again. I guess I should start by telling you Edward and I are friends now."

Bella looked shocked and not by the news but by the way they spoke to each other. She felt they were anything but friends.

"I'm married to a really ugly man, but I like it that way," she continued on. "I'm trying to get pregnant and I'm sure our children will be monsters, but I love him. You and I were thick as thieves in school and I was a bit wild, but you were perfect and virginal and blah, blah, blah."

"That doesn't help," Edward said with irritation, but Bella felt it did help her to know she was a good person and she didn't deserve the scars on her body.

"Then you got obsessed with Edward and I took the back burner, God you spent every second with him, but I didn't know you guys were sleeping together and…"

"Jessica, we were not sleeping together," Edward said and looked nervously at Bella.

"Don't lie, Bella told me, didn't you…oh, I guess you don't remember. You said you let him go out of your bed and it cost you the man you love."

"There was a lot more to it," Edward said to soften the blow.

"She wasn't ashamed of bedding a boy, you were hot, Edward."

He opened his mouth to speak but laughed instead as he looked at Bella as he shrugged, "I was hot."

She blushed and let her head fall so he couldn't see her smile. He was still hot, but it took a lot more than that to make a relationship work. Carlisle was hot too, but it wasn't what made her love him.

"So what should we do first? Do you want to hit the mall in Port Angeles or get manicures?" She looked at Bella's hair with a disappointed face and said, "Maybe we should get you an appointment to have your hair done."

"What's wrong with my hair?" Bella asked and reached up to run her fingers through it. She wondered if Carlisle had been embarrassed by her style and instantly wanted it fixed.

"Nothing, you're beautiful," Edward said softly and Bella looked over at him. He looked at her with so much love and she wanted to beg him to stop. It was creepy to have a stranger look at her in that manner, even if it was her husband.

"I'm taking her with me," Jessica said and pulled Bella up by her hand.

"Do you want to spend some time with Jessica?" he asked and she quickly shook her head up and down. She needed to be out of his constant gaze and wanted to update her look.

He watched them head out and felt his time with her coming to a quick end. He could tell she was putting in a week and then planned on rushing back to her relationship with Carlisle. He was going to have to step up his game and push her into remembering.

He made plans for the girls to spend the night with friends and arranged a romantic night with Bella. He felt it was his last hope to keep her forever.

When she walked through the door she saw the roses sitting on the counter. Edward walked into the room and his eyes widened when he saw her. "Wow," he said loudly. "You look amazing."

"Thanks," she said shyly and couldn't wait to show Carlisle her new look.

"I hope you don't mind, I planned an evening for us," he said softly and she looked nervously at the flowers but he didn't respond.

"I made your favorite pasta," he said and pulled out a chair for her.

"So, what is my favorite pasta?" she asked as she sat at the table.

He laughed and got a dish from the oven. "Mushroom ravioli with French bread and wine."

She nodded and worried about the wine. He lit some candles and lowered the lights before sitting across from her. "I'm not setting up any big seduction scene; I just thought you would enjoy an adult night."

He poured her some wine and she took a quick sip. He watched as she took a bite of food and then smiled up at him. "You are a great cook."

"It is your recipe," he said and she was tempted to ask him for it, so she could make it for Carlisle.

"Jessica is…interesting," she said to keep the awkward silence away.

"I've never understood your attraction to her," he said as he shook his head.

"Is her husband really as ugly as she says?" Bella asked with a laugh.

"I'm afraid so, but I respect the guy for being the one millionth customer served," Edward said and Bella had to cover her mouth with her napkin as she laughed.

"Tell me about yourself," she pressed hoping to keep the conversation moving.

"I have two sisters who are a lot older than me. My father died when I was twelve and I was raised by my older mother. When I began working for you I spent most days and nights here. I had my own room and you were my best friend. I love old movies and you taught me to love horses, but swimming was more my thing. You came to every football game except two, because you were mad at me."

"Why was I mad?"

"You didn't like my girlfriend," he said bluntly.

"So, we weren't really sleeping together?"

"We had sex twice, the night before I left for college. I came by and told you I loved you."

Bella took another long drink of her wine and ate without commenting. He didn't push her into conversation and let her process the information he had given her. After filling her glass for the second time he put the wine away. She didn't mind, it was already relaxing her and that was all she wanted.

"I have a horse saddled for a ride," he said and she looked up with a bit of fear. "We used to take slow rides at night all the time. Buster is a very gentle horse and we usually rode in silence," he said to ease her tense body.

They both cleaned up the dishes together and her silence had Edward so worried. He was slipping into a deep depression and tried to keep his face hidden from her watchful eyes. They dressed warmly and after helping Bella into the saddle he grabbed a blanket and climbed up behind her.

"We're riding together?" she asked in shock.

"Yes, it is how we always rode," he said sadly and wrapped the blanket around her shoulders before bringing his arms around her and taking the reins. They made the same lumbering trek they had so many times before.

She began to relax and his body was keeping her warm as she nestled into his chest. She thought she felt him kiss her hair a couple of times, but she wasn't sure. His arms tightened around her and she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of the slow walk.

When they reached the cemetery Edward climbed down and tied the horse to the fence. "Can you climb?" he asked.

"We're going inside?" she asked and got off of the horse.

"Yeah, I want to show you something."

They both climbed effortlessly over the fence and walked silently over to two headstones. She looked at the names and saw, Charles and Renee Swan. She sat down on her knees and felt her tears falling. She had no idea who these people were, but that didn't change the fact they were her parents. She was part of these people and it meant something to her.

"I wish I knew things about them, but I never met them," Edward said. "Billy was your father's best friend and business partner; he can tell you anything you want to know."

She looked up at Edward and realized what a nice man he was. "Thank you," she said and looked back at the headstones. "Is your father buried here?" she asked and he nodded. She stood and held out her hand for his, "Show me."

He took her hand and walked to another section and stopped by the large stone with the name Masen engraved across the top. "Charles Masen, our father's have the same name. How did he die?" Bella asked.

"He had a heart attack while mowing the lawn. I was the only one home."

She looked at his sad eyes and tightened her hand in his, "I'm sorry, Edward. I don't remember my pain; it must be difficult for you."

"I can't complain, it led me to you," he said as he looked at her face.

She looked directly in his eyes and felt a strange feeling, a sort of remembrance and she quickly looked away. He closed his eyes as his heart hurt. "I'm sorry; you were always made uncomfortable by my eyes."

She looked back at him in shock, "Why?" she asked.

"You said they could see into your soul and see all of your secrets."

She forced herself to stare at him and it sent chills went down her spine. She didn't remember anything but his eyes made her know for certain she had loved him once, but she had nothing to connect the feeling to, so she brought Carlisle back into her mind and looked over at the horse.

"We better head back, it is getting colder," she said to hide her shivers.

They made the slow walk back to the house and she admitted to Edward she really enjoyed the ride. She watched as he put the horse away and they walked together back into the house.

He led her to the sofa and put on the movie, Love Story. She watched in silence and didn't mind when he pulled her feet onto his lap and rubbed them for her. When the movie ended and she was wiping her tears on her sleeve he scooted closer and held her face in his hand.

She closed her eyes as he wiped her eyes with his thumbs. He leaned in very softly touching his lips to hers. He hoped she would respond, but she held perfectly still. He kissed her several times, never escalating the action.

"I'm afraid you won't be here for Christmas, so I would like to give you your gift now," he said with a broken voice.

"Edward, you shouldn't have gotten me anything," she said sadly.

"I would give you the moon, if I could," he said with a smile and her heart sped up.

He picked up a gift from under the tree and brought it over to her. She held it in her shaking hands and was afraid to open it. His sweet nature made her feel awful for planning a life without him.

She finally opened the package to find a beautiful bracelet with the words, Forever Yours, Faithfully. He took it from her hands and placed it on her wrist. A tear fell from his eye and landed on the white gold metal.

He kissed her fingers and stood to leave the room, "Goodnight, Bella," he said with a strained voice and walked away so she wouldn't see him crying.

She stared at the words, thinking they must have some meaning to them and wishing for the first time all week she could remember what it was.

29

She stared at the unfamiliar room and noticed small things, like the magnets on the fridge, one a B and one an E. She looked at the picture drawn by a child, of a family of four, framed and placed on the mantel.

The tree was obviously decorated by children and she noticed a paper plate hanging from a bough. She walked over to see the face of Edward, still a teen, smiling like he was in on some big joke.

She walked to her room and began packing her things. She chose things which would be good for summer weather and tried not to think about saying goodbye to Kelly and Annie. She opened the draw in the small side table and found the letter Edward wrote on their Disneyland trip.

If there was some way to make herself remember she would do it, but she had to follow her heart, and it wanted Carlisle. Edward was kind, and gentle, and funny, and handsome, and if she didn't get out of here soon she would fall in love with him, too. Her life was complicated enough without adding another man into the mix.

She saw the stack of photo albums he placed in her room and she walked over to sit next to the wall and looked through them. Her father was handsome and her mother seemed so devoted to him. She wondered if she would ever look at Carlisle in that way.

Almost every picture had her on a horse and she always had a huge smile. She raised her head to look at her floor length mirror. She didn't smile often, and she wondered if it was only since losing her memory. She reached over for another album; it had pictures of her, Edward, and the girls. She had a big smile in each picture.

She noticed in every single photo Edward was touching her in some way. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine his hands on her. She felt a warmness spread through her and she wrapped her own arms around her body as she sighed loudly.

After her heart calmed she picked up another album. A picture fell from the pages and she picked it up to see a picture of a pair of green eyes. It was all there was to the picture, two eyes staring at her.

She gasped and tried to stand, but fell back to the ground. "Edward," she screamed with all her might as she tried to walk her hands up the wall so she could stand.

Her door flew open and she held out one hand for him as she held onto the wall with the other. "Edward, oh God, I'm here," she cried out and he ran to her side.

She threw her arms around him and hung on with everything she had as she screamed in anguish. "Bella, what's wrong?" he said as he held her tightly.

"Don't let go," she cried and brought her legs around his waist. "Don't let me go, Edward."

"Never, love, I've got you," he cried along with her, not sure if she remembered him or not.

"Did he hurt her," she said and looked around the room in a panic. "Where's Kelly, is she okay?"

"Bella," he said as he carried her to the bed and sat as he held her. "We're all here, we're together. You're mine, Miami, all mine."

She pulled back and looked at his face as she struggled to breathe. "Hey," he said so she looked at him with her wild eyes. He smiled and mouthed the words, "I love you."

"Edward, I didn't know," she said as she began to cry again. "I didn't know…anything, do you hate me?"

"I could never hate you, you're my wife and I am so lucky to have you," he said as his cries mixed with hers.

"I told him I wanted him," she said with shock and climbed off Edward's lap, covered her mouth, and ran to the bathroom.

Edward ran after her. "Bella, honey, please," he begged and she turned to look at him again.

"I brought him here and made you see us together. I'm so sorry, Edward." She took a step toward him and suddenly turned back and threw up her mushroom pasta.

He left the room and grabbed the photo's the police gave him. He returned to the bathroom and held out the pictures. "Bella, this was how they found you. I don't blame you for forgetting about us. Look what that bastard did to you."

She reached out for the photo and looked at it with terrified eyes. "Oh my God," she whispered.

"You are a miracle, Bella, my Christmas miracle."

She looked at her wrist, knowing exactly what the words meant on the bracelet. She looked back at Edward and said softly, "I never slept with Carlisle, but I don't know what Jimmy did to me."

"It doesn't matter," he said gently. "I need you to tell me if you still love me, Bella."

"I'll love you forever," she said and fell into his arms.

He kissed her neck and head and face and she suddenly pulled back and covered her mouth. "Get out," she said, "Let me get cleaned up."

"It isn't necessary," he laughed.

"Go, please, I won't take long," she said as she pushed him from the room.

He grabbed his flannel bottoms and changed before making a big fire. His heart was pounding with joy and he was having a hard time remaining calm. He finally went back to their room and leaned against the bathroom door. "Bella, hurry," he begged.

She opened the door, dressed in a tight satin nightgown and her hair in wet curls. He pulled her against his body and kissed her with so much passion they were melded together. His body was screaming with need and when she touched him with her hand he cried out.

"I missed you," he said still attached to her lips and picked her up into his arms.

"Show me," she said as he carried her to the family room and laid her on the floor next to the fireplace.

He was yelling at himself to calm down and go slow but she was pulling on him with frantic need and he couldn't make his body calm. They were both offering unintelligible words of love, and desire, and appreciation.

As the clock struck midnight they screamed out their ecstasy in unison with the chimes. It was fast, but so wonderful, and she knew there was no way this night would ever leave her memory.

"Edward, tell me you love me, tell me over and over again," she cried.

He put his mouth next to her ear and whispered seductively, "I love you so much. You are my wife, mine, forever."

"Yes," she said as she clung to his nude body.

"I love everything about you, Miami. Your smile, your heart, your mind, and your body," he said as he pressed into her.

Her eyes grew wide and she said in shock, "You and Jessica are friends?"

"Ah man," he moaned, "Did you have to bring her up right when I was going to impress you with my quick turnaround."

She laughed and he smiled as he watched her mouth closely. "Music," he moaned.

"What?" she asked.

"Hearing you laugh is like music," he said with emotion.

She looked into his eyes and found her salvation there. Her hands wouldn't stop touching him, running gently over his flesh. "How are the girls doing?"

"Annie seems good, I worry about Kelly. She has become a bit reserved, maybe it is age?"

"Edward," she gasped loudly, "You stopped your residency, no you can't."

"The girls needed me," he said softly and tried to smile.

"Okay, I'll spend extra time with Kelly and you need to get back to the hospital. And Edward, the pool has a heater, for God's sake, let Annie swim."

He laughed and pulled her to him, "We needed you, Miami."

She sighed in bliss and whispered, "You can impress me with your quick turnaround."

He loved her slowly and tenderly with moves she knew in her heart and mind. His love removed all thoughts of Carlisle from her mind and she belonged to Edward alone. They slept next to the tree as the fire slowly died in the fireplace.

Billy opened the door and walked in to find them tangled together under a blanket and fast asleep. "What the hell," he said loudly and they both jumped.

"Hey, Billy," Edward said calmly. "Bella got her memory back."

He looked at her for verification and she blushed and hid her face making Billy chuckle. "When you find your clothes be sure and look over bubba's work with the books. I'm not too sure he knew what he was doing."

"I'm not working today, Billy. Christmas is in three days and I have shopping to do," Bella said as she pretended to go back to sleep.

"Yep, she's back," he said and turned to walk out of the room.

"Sue won't be so diplomatic, you better get dressed," Edward said and stood to head to the bedroom. Bella smiled as she followed behind and appreciated the view.

As soon as she was dressed the back door opened and Bella ran to the other room to greet Sue. They hugged and cried until Sue brought up the one painful subject. "Did you call that other man and tell him you're staying?"

Bella let her head drop in shame and worry."Do you want me to do it?" Edward asked a little to enthusiastically.

She glared at him and walked over to the phone. "I'll do it," she said with dread.

"Tell him about my turnaround," Edward said with a big smile and Bella tried so hard not to laugh but she couldn't do it.

Carlisle answered quickly and Bella felt her heart clench. "Hi," she said softly and turned her back to Sue and Edward.

"I can tell you don't have good news for me," Carlisle said.

"I got my memory back," Bella said.

"And do I stand a chance?" he asked.

"Carlisle, I love my husband, heart and soul. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you are home, where you belong. I'm glad I got to know you, Bella."

"Thank you, for everything you did for me, especially for your control and holding back physically."

"I wish you all the best."

"Thank you, goodbye, Carlisle."

She hung up the phone and turned to look at Edward's worried face. She walked over and wrapped her arms around him. "You're mine," she said and he let out a rush of air.

"Let's go get the girls," Bella said and Edward kissed her head.

"I'll get them and talk to them first. You wait here with Sue," he suggested and she nodded in agreement.

Edward left and the women sat at the table drinking coffee. "What made you remember?" Sue asked.

"Edward's eyes, that picture I took at his birthday that first year. I looked at just his eyes and everything came rushing back."

"He was such a mess without you, Bella. But he did everything he could for those babies. He's a good man."

"He's a great man," Bella corrected.

"So what was with the doctor?"

"I'm so ashamed of bringing him here, God, I can't imagine what it did to Edward."

"He won't take you for granted, that's for sure," Sue said as she patted Bella's hand.

They talked for close to an hour when Bella heard Edward return. The door opened and both girls looked at her hesitantly.

Bella got on her knees and held her arms open. They ran to her and she hugged them as tightly as possible. "I'm so sorry," she told them.

"Do you remember us?" Annie asked and Bella kissed her face.

"I sure do, and I think we need to turn that heater back on."

Annie's eyes grew huge and she tightened her arms around Bella's neck until she was almost choking her. "You really are our mommy."

Bella looked at Kelly and said softly. "I remember how brave you were. Did you tell Annie you swam in the ocean?"

Kelly smiled and nodded.

"I left with Jimmy because I would truly die for you, Kelly. He couldn't hurt me as long as you were safe."

"But he did hurt you," she said as she looked down.

"How, we're all together, we won? I have my husband and my precious daughters, he didn't hurt me at all."

Bella wanted to see the girls happy and she really did need to do some shopping so she took a deep breath and said, "We need to go to the mall."

Both girls cheered and ran to get ready. Kelly came out with an exasperated look on her face. "Mom, can you fix my socks?"

"Oh dear Lord," Edward mumbled.

Bella sat her on the counter and pulled up her pants to look at the perfectly folded socks. "Oh, this is easy to fix," she said and got some tape out of the drawer and pulled the socks up to put the tape under the fold before bring them back down. "Perfect," she said and Kelly threw her arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"I'm so glad you're home," Kelly said with a huge smile before jumping down and heading to the car.

"What did you fix?" Edward asked. He was sure it was some knowledge universally held by girls and he would finally find out what it was. He would never be stumped again by sock drama and offer his assistance to any father dealing with an emotional little girl.

"I have no idea, but she's happy now," Bella laughed and headed to the car.

Edward growled loudly.

30

It was Christmas morning and Bella spent a miserable night tossing and turning as she worried over Edward's gift. She was trying to keep it a secret but it wasn't easy. Jessica came up with the idea, and that alone worried Bella.

Her reunion with her best friend was not the hug fest it had been with Kelly and Annie. Jessica was a bit disappointed she wouldn't be able to fill Bella in by rewriting history or at least make some major revisions.

The bedroom door opened with a soft creek and the girls tiptoed to the side of the bed before tapping Bella softly on the arm. "Mommy, it's Christmas," Annie whispered.

"Are you sure its not too early?" Bella teased.

"No, it's seventeen o'clock," Annie said and Kelly quickly said, "Seven o'clock."

"Okay, go look in your stockings while Daddy and I get dressed."

The girls ran from the room and Edward rolled over and smiled, "Do we have enough time for Santa to give you a little something?"

"No," she said trying to sound adamant, but also wondering the same thing. "Santa can give me something later, and it better not be little."

He rolled out of bed and dressed before grabbing the camera and joining the girls. Bella threw on something special and made her way to the kitchen to make hot chocolate. The girls were looking in their stockings and begging to eat some candy, so Bella sliced some oranges and set them on the coffee table.

The girls tore into their gifts and swore each one was their absolute favorite. Bella was actually very impressed by Edward's choices, and he didn't tell her sales women helped him.

Bella handed Kelly a small box and watched as she unwrapped it excitedly. She opened the box and picked up the medallion. Bella smiled and spoke softly, "It is St. Nicholas. He is the patron Saint of children, he will watch over you and protect you."

Kelly looked at her with teary eyes and smiled. "Can I put it on now?"

Edward took the necklace and secured it around her neck and kissed her. Bella held out her arms and when Kelly leaned into her she whispered, "It will all go away soon, honey, I promise."

Annie looked at her sister and said, "Did I get one?"

"No, I got you something different," Bella said with a big smile. She stood from the couch and quickly pulled up her dress revealing a swimsuit. Annie screamed loudly and ran to her room to put her suit on.

The air was absolutely freezing and small tufts of snow dotted the patio, but the water was warm and Annie swam as if she was nourishing her soul. Bella stayed in the water with her for most of the morning and then insisted they take a break after changing the bandage on her surprise three times.

Edward had cooked a turkey and Sue made some rolls and her special potatoes. By afternoon Edward's family began showing up from Seattle. When they all sat down to eat Bella began to cry. She was so overwhelmed by the love she felt and realized how close she came to losing it.

"Everything I care about it right here at this table, I love each one of you," she said as Edward held her for strength.

Alice smiled and said, "Well, keep crying because I have some news for you."

"What?" Bella and Edward asked at the same time.

"My daughter has a college roommate who is pregnant and isn't keeping the baby. The adoptive family fell through and she wants you and Edward to take him."

"Him?" they said again in unison.

"Yes, but she is being induced on Monday, can you manage a baby so soon?"

"Excuse me," Bella said and ran from the table. The room became silent and Edward left to check on Bella.

She was standing in the middle of the bedroom as if frozen. He walked up to her slowly and leaned over to look at her face. "Are you okay, love?"

"Edward, a baby," she said in a whispered hush.

He continued to stare not knowing where she was headed with the conversation. She looked down at her hands as she held them out in front of her. "He thought he took the opportunity away from me, but we get a son, Edward. We get a baby."

"Baby, Charles," he said as he took hold of her hands.

Her eyes looked up at him and she nodded as her tears fell, "Charles Edward."

He pulled her into his chest as she cried from unbelievable joy. They were a family and they were growing. She would have two daughters to teach how to become women and pick good, tender men to love. And Edward would have a son to watch play football and teach him how to be a good man.

"I love you," Edward said as he tried to dry her tears. "You are going to be the best mother."

"This house will be full of children," she smiled and her tears began to fall again.

"So shall we tell them we're coming to Seattle on Monday?" he asked.

"Yeah, let's tell them."

They walked back to the kitchen and everyone looked at them in silence. Edward smiled and said, "It's a boy!"

The room cheered loudly and Bella began to cry again. The girls came over to hug her and she held them tightly. "You get a brother," she tried to explain.

"Can he swim?" Annie asked.

"I'll help you take care of him, mom," Kelly said and Bella laughed.

"Just keep Annie from putting him in the pool," she said and ran her hand over Kelly's cheek. "He's going to be so lucky to have such a brave sister."

After dinner Alice made a phone call and let Edward and Bella both speak to the girl. They made plans to contact her lawyer and have everything in place by Monday.

Bella could hear relief in the girls voice and had no idea how to express their gratitude. How do you tell someone they made everything in your world better, colors were brighter, music was prettier, and love was so much deeper? Bella told her the only thing she could think of, "I can promise you're son will only know love."

It was late by the time everyone left. Bella found Edward in their room and she walked over to hug him from behind. "Do you feel like a bath?" he asked.

"I can't," she confessed, "It will have to be a shower."

He turned to look at her, "Why?"

"I got you something for Christmas, but now I feel stupid because I feel like such a mom," she said to confuse him more.

"Why would feeling like a mom make you feel stupid?"

"No, my choice of gift makes me feel stupid."

"I'm lost," he confessed.

She stepped away from him and took a deep breath before removing her clothes. He watched with a lustful smile and she just shook her head and soldiered on. When she bent over to remover her pants she pulled off her underwear with them and stood to show him the tattoo low on her pelvis.

His eyes flashed back up to hers as if he was imagining what he was looking at. She nodded and he stepped forward to get a better look. He dropped to his knees and placed his hands on her hips to hold her still for his inspection.

He looked at the small circular stamp that read, _If found return to Edward Masen, Forks, Washington._

Bella waited for his response with her eyes closed and his roaring laughter forced them open. She looked down to see him lying on the ground holding his stomach as he continued laughing.

"It's not supposed to be funny," she said and pulled her pants back up to cover the tattoo.

"It's hysterical," he said with limited breath. "I could have just taken you to the vet and got a chip put in your arm."

"I'm having it removed," she said angrily and turned to walk away, but he reached out and brought her tumbling down to the floor on top of him. She tried to get up so he rolled onto her to keep her in his arms.

"I think it is sexy as hell," he said and she glared at him.

"Yeah, right, that's why you're laughing your guts out," she said as she kept her head to the side and stared at the wall instead of his eyes.

"I can't believe you got it, I mean, I love the idea of marking you as mine, I should have thought of it years ago. I'm just shocked you would actually do it."

She finally turned to look at him and her expression wiped the laughter from his face. He swallowed and took a big breath as she slowly wrapped her legs around his body. "Edward, I would do anything for you, all you have to do is ask."

"Will you love me forever?" he asked with just a breath.

"Faithfully," she whispered.

"Will you remain my wife?"

"For eternity."

"Will you mother our children?"

"Joyfully."

His mouth began to lower toward hers as he asked, "Will you make love to me?"

"Passionately," she answered and they collided.

By Monday morning they had the nursery ready, supplies gathered, and an appointment to sign the papers waiting at the lawyers office in Seattle. They travelled together as a family and waited anxiously in the hospital waiting room for news of his arrival.

When they were finally called back and placed in sterile gowns Bella's heart was beating out of her chest. Edward was ready with a camera and when the baby was placed in her arms he began clicking away.

He was beautiful and perfect in every way. She held his tiny hand with one finger and cried as he opened his eyes. "Hello, son," she smiled and Edward stopped taking pictures to come see his child.

They stared in awe as he lay contently in Bella's arms, never crying or fussing. The girls were allowed to come back and look at their baby brother. "He's so tiny," Kelly said as she touched his hair with her fingers.

Annie looked at Edward with shock and said with wide eyes, "He can't go in the pool."

"No, not yet," Edward said and gave her a hug.

She turned back to the baby and spoke in a high shrill voice, "Hi baby, I'm your big sister. I'm almost five, and you can come to my birthday party."

Kelly leaned over to kiss his forehead and said, "I'm seven and I'll protect you from Annie."

Both girls nudged each other and Bella smiled, knowing how much he was going to be fought over and loved. "Do you want to hold him, daddy?" Bella said and Edward leaned in to give her a deep kiss before taking him into his arms.

Bella left to see the young woman who gave them such a miracle and thanked her for her sacrifice. When she returned, Charles Edward was being held on the lap of both girls as Edward took pictures. A random thought, coming out of nowhere crossed Bella's mind. She had too much to lose, and what if Jimmy came after her again?

They returned home the next day with their son and spent almost an hour taking pictures of him with Billy and Sue, in his new room, and under the tree with wrapping paper lying across him.

The girls were obsessed with their brother, until the first dirty diaper arrived, and he suddenly lost his fascination in their eyes. Bella was sitting in the rocker, in the middle of the night after feeding him a bottle, when another wave of memories returned.

She watched the incident in her mind as if watching a movie, disconnected to feelings it should have produced in her. _She remembered trying to open her eyes which were so swollen it took all of her effort just to get a tiny sliver of vision._

_Jimmy wasn't going to get the satisfaction of doing this again, she was finally going to fight back. She pulled her bruised and bloodied body from the ground and stumbled to the doorway. He had used a screwdriver to remove the door. He wanted to make sure she didn't lock him out this time._

_She reached for a long screwdriver and tightened her hand around the grip. Jimmy was singing loudly in his drunken euphoria so he didn't hear her walk up behind him. She waited, just like he always did, for the most opportune time. He let his head fall back as he took another drink and stumbled a bit, but his hand held onto the rail of the boat and kept himself steady._

_He sensed her behind him, waiting, so he turned slowly around and raised the bottle in his hand in the same manner he had done for years. It was time, the moment was now, and she thrust the tool right into throat. Blood shot high in the air and he arched back as his hands came to his throat._

_Bella had no reaction, even though her grotesque, mangled face wouldn't have allowed one. She backed up enough to raise her foot and kicked him in the chest, sending him tumbling over the side and into the dark water. He only surfaced once and then his arms floated away from his throat and he sunk slowly into the deep._

Bella stood and looked down at her son sleeping, tightly wrapped in a blanket, and safe. She went to Kelly's room and saw the medallion secure around her neck, and knew she no longer needed protection. She checked on Annie, curled up with a stuffed dolphin and laughed to see her sleeping in her swimsuit. Swimming would remain fun for her and she would never have to swim for her life.

Her final stop was at Edward's side as he slept holding her pillow to his chest, just as he had all those nights without her. Nobody would ever come between them again and he could forget all the pain.

She decided to keep the memory to herself, it was her problem to deal with and her problem to solve. She protected her family and there was nothing but happiness for them now.

Edward easily released the pillow as she pulled it from his arms and scooted herself in its place. He pulled her tightly into his chest and mumbled, "Mmm, my Bella."

"Forever Yours, Faithfully," she whispered and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

The End.


End file.
